New Beginnings
by Smudge the rat
Summary: AU. After the Accident, Roxas started a new school hoping to put the past behind him, but his future turns out to contain all manner of unexpected problems. RoxasDemyx. YuffiePaine. Angsty Romance with a side order of Humour. COMPLETE!
1. Can We Keep Him?

**A/N: **Hello readers. This is going to be a fairly long fic, longer than any I've done before. It's AU, set in an English secondary school, partly because I'm English, so it's easier for me than setting it in an American high school, but also to make it more interesting for any American readers. **The main pairing is going to be Roxas/Demyx, the rating is M **because I have planned at least two sex scenes between the guys, and at least one between Paine and someone else (all I'm saying is that it's a girl), plus I've set the swearing to my normal standard, which is lots. There will be angst. I'm saying nothing about it at this point, apart from the fact that Roxas's back story is interesting. The events I have planned are basically from my year (I'm in year 13, not year 12, but the same events apply) - but none of the horrible angsty things that will occur in this fic happened to me. If enough people are baffled, I'll explain the English secondary school system to you in the next chapter, which will be up sometime next week. Oh, and I amost forgot - **Disclaimer** - I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters. I don't own the school either, as it's kind of based on my own. So there.

* * *

Sharp ringing pervaded the crisp autumn air, violating the ears of the small blonde who stood, lost and bewildered amongst strangers, looking around for something familiar and knowing that he wouldn't find it. Not here, in this noisy, crowded place where empty crisp packets and sandwich crusts littered the grass just a metre away from the bin. Not here, where just two metres away from him three rough looking boys played catch with a shorter, weaker boy's backpack. 

In a response to the bell that was almost Pavlovian, several hundred children simultaneously began to make their way inside. Last minute homework was shoved into bags, mobile phones were snapped shut, conversations ended, and the weak looking kid's backpack was thrown into a tree. Soon, he managed to grab the strap and pull it free, leaving the blonde standing in the grass alone, looking miserable. Or so he thought.

"Are you lost?"

Spinning around, the blonde turned to see two boys leaning against the wall, sharing a cigarette. The shorter one had grey hair that covered half of his heavily made up face. He wore tight black jeans and a t-shirt with the name of a band the blonde had never heard of. The other boy was much taller, with unruly red hair that stuck up in all directions, baggy jeans and a faded t-shirt two sizes to big. Taking a drag of the white stick he held casually in his right hand, he said,

"He's new. I can tell."

His voice was deeper and rougher than the one that had originally spoken, so the blonde guessed that the emo kid had been the first one to speak.

"Why isn't he wearing uniform?" the emo wondered. The redhead shrugged.

"Beats me. He can't be old enough to be a sixth former. Maybe he's retarded." He leaned closer to the blonde, who was regarding him with fear. Were they going to beat him up? They seemed like the crazy type who would do that without reason.

"Are you retarded, kid?" the redhead asked, pronouncing his words clearly and slowly. The blonde whimpered.

"Stop patronising him, Axel." The emo scolded, grabbing the redhead's arm and pulling him back. "He's terrified of you, can't you tell?"

Lifting one eyebrow, the redhead – Axel – watched the blonde tremble in fear, blinking rapidly and swallowing hard. Passing the cigarette to the silver haired boy, he turned up the corner of his mouth in a grin.

"Isn't that just adorable? Look Zexion, he's cowering. Lets steal his lunch money." The emo – Zexion – whacked him around the back of the head before throwing the cigarette to the ground and stamping it out. He leaned forward and stuck his hand out, a few centimetres in front of the blonde's face.

"I'm Zexion, this is Axel, he's a prick, but you can just ignore him-"

"I was only joking…" Axel muttered, rubbing the back of his head and ruffling up the spikes a little.

"You must be new here." Zexion continued. "What's your name?"

Tentatively reaching out to shake the slender hand with nails painted black, the blonde finally found his voice. "I'm R-Roxas." He stuttered. Axel laughed.

"Nice to meet you, R-Roxas." He mimicked, but as soon as he caught sight of Zexion's angry glare, he leaned back against the wall, scowling.

"What year are you in?" Zexion asked, smiling encouragingly.

"Year 12." Roxas replied, playing with the zipper of his hoodie nervously. "This is my first year. I was in private school up until now, but they didn't have a sixth form, and I didn't want to go to college, so I ended up here…" A second bell rang, making him jump slightly. Neither of the other boys even blinked.

"Well, R-Roxas," Axel grinned, slapping him on the back and shepherding him into the main building, "We don't want you to be late for your first day, now do we?"

"It's just Roxas." The blonde corrected nervously. He was still a little scared of the redhead, although Zexion seemed harmless. Still, he wasn't sure if he wanted to be friends with either of them. They seemed like bad influences.

"Roxas it is." Axel replied, slapping him on the back once again. Roxas could tell he was going to have a bruise by tomorrow morning. He felt his timetable being taken from his hands, and reflexively clutched at it, but it was too late. Zexion had it in his hands and was reading it with interest.

"Maths, Biology, Chemistry, Physics… you're taking maths and all the sciences? What, are you some kind of nerd or something?" Roxas tried to grab the timetable away from him, but the emo held it just out of reach.

"My parents made me take them." He protested, arms flailing wildly, trying to reclaim possession of his stolen timetable. Zexion smiled at him, one eyebrow raised.

"Do you always do what your parents tell you?"

"N-no-" Roxas jumped and snatched the piece of paper out of the grinning emo's hands. "But I couldn't do anything about it." He could feel his cheeks turn red and he tried his best not to cry, blinking back tears furiously. "You don't know my parents."

"Hey, calm down Blondie." Axel said, grabbing his shoulder. Roxas sniffed loudly and the two older boys looked at each other, worried that he was going to start crying.

Sighing, Zexion stuck a hand into his pocket and brought out a half eaten bar of chocolate. Thrusting it into Roxas's hands, he said, "I'm sorry and all that shit. Come on, you've got Biology first period. We'll get you to your lesson. Kay?"

Roxas nodded silently and took a bite of the chocolate. He followed the two boys through the brightly lit corridor. Graffiti adorned the walls, most of it illegible, punctuated infrequently by a muddy boot print where some bright spark had tried to see how high up they could kick the wall.

Zexion and Axel were having a conversation, but they kept their voices low, so Roxas had to strain to hear them. He heard Zexion mutter something about chocolate, then both boys stopped so suddenly that Roxas almost ran into the back of Axel's hair. They had reached an older part of the school, which smelled of gas and chemicals.

"Room 35." Axel announced, gesturing to the door that they had stopped in front of. "Please exit the train in an orderly fashion. No pushing, no shoving, no biting…"

"Shut up." Zexion told him. Axel shrugged. The silver haired boy studied Roxas's face. "Nervous?" he guessed. The blonde nodded. "Nothing I can do about that." Zexion told him. Roxas bit his lip.

"Oh, just piss off already!" Axel grinned, shoving the younger boy through the door and into his lesson, which had already started.

* * *

"That was a little bit mean." Zexion scolded as the two of them sauntered through the corridor, not having anywhere to go until second period. 

Shrugging, Axel lit up another cigarette. "He wasn't gonna get there on his own. I just gave him a gentle nudge in the right direction. What's mean about that?"

Zexion smiled quietly to himself, imagining Roxas standing in front of a class full of strangers who had known each other for five years, too nervous to say anything. "So." He said.

"So?" Axel echoed.

Zexion pouted and fluttered his eyelashes. "Can we keep him?" he asked.

Axel scowled, crossing his arms. He was trying to stop himself from laughing at this ridiculous display. "Do you even realise how gay you are?" he teased. "Hey, what was that for?" he asked, rubbing his arm where his friend had just punched him. "OK, OK, we can keep him."

Realising he was talking to himself, he ran to catch up with Zexion. "I didn't mean it, you homophobe."

"Fuck off."

"Don't start with me, you emo freak!"

Zexion stopped so suddenly that Axel took a couple more steps and had to backtrack. They glared at each other furiously for a few seconds.

"I'm not a freak."

Axel snorted and covered his mouth to hide his laughter. He didn't want Zexion to punch him again with his fist full of rings. That had fucking hurt.

"You're not a freak." He agreed. "So what are we gonna do with him?"

Zexion smiled thoughtfully. "The kid needs to learn how to rebel."

Lacing his fingers together and pushing them away from him, Axel cracked his knuckles, delighting in Zexion's wince. "This is gonna be fun."

* * *

Three rows of faces, fourteen kids in all, stared at him as he stumbled into the classroom. The teacher, wondering why they were all suddenly so interested, turned to see what they were staring at. Her light brown hair was tied loosely back in a ponytail, a few rebellious strands framing her petite face, which was currently shaped into a smile. 

"And who might you be?" she asked, her voice friendly and amused. The usual lump failed to form in Roxas's throat, and he found it easy to speak, despite the fact that in this situation he would usually only be able to squeak helplessly.

"Roxas." He said, eyes darting around the room. "I'm, um. I'm new."

"It's nice to meet you, Roxas. I'm Miss Gainsborough. You can take a seat with these three girls, I'm sure they'd be happy to look after you."

Nodding nervously, Roxas slipped into the seat she had indicated, in the front row. Next to him, a manically cheerful blonde with hair in plaits grinned at him. Her two friends leaned forward so that they could take a better look at him. Sitting next to the blonde, who he soon learned was called Rikku, was a quiet looking brunette called Yuna, and the next seat along was an expressionless goth called Paine. Rikku was the one who did all the talking, describing herself in great detail without letting Roxas get a word in edgeways. Occasionally, Yuna would add something to the conversation, although she mostly concentrated on making notes. Paine just listened to the one sided conversation, head resting on one hand, bored, not even bothering to make notes. Roxas got the feeling that she was evaluating him, analysing whether he was worth making the effort to get to know. In contrast to Rikku's ditsy naivety and Yuna's considerate friendliness, he saw real intelligence in her eyes. They were a mismatched trio indeed, but somehow they fit together perfectly.

"So what's your next class?" Rikku asked as the bell rang, finally ending her monologue about her favourite places to shop. Roxas fished the crumpled timetable out of his pocket, where he had hastily stuffed it at the start of the lesson.

"Maths." He replied, his stomach sinking. He really hated that lesson. At least the sciences were pretty interesting, with the possible exception of Physics, but the only was he had managed to scrape a B in Maths was by almost killing himself with revision. The other kids in his class were bound to be smarter than him.

"Boring!" Rikku giggled, breaking him out of his train of thought. "Me and Yunie have R.E. It's much more fun!"

"I have Psychology, so I can take you most of the way." Paine spoke up. This was the first time Roxas had heard her voice. It was smooth and low and conveyed so much apathy that a sudden urge to give up on life came over Roxas. Mentally shaking it off, he thanked her as he stood up and shoved his pencil case, textbook and paper into his backpack.

"Don't forget the homework! Five properties of water, for Wednesday!" Miss Gainsborough called as the class filed out of the classroom, spilling out into the hallway. Yuna and Rikku went off to the right, heading towards the Humanities block, but Paine was headed straight on, towards the main part of the school.

The goth didn't make any attempt to start a conversation, so Roxas was forced to speak up. The very fact that she had offered to show him to his next lesson was so obviously out of character that he couldn't pass up this chance to get to know this fascinating girl better.

"You're the second person I've seen today with silver hair."

She turned her head, making him blush. This seemed to amuse her, and she slowed down to let him walk by her side.

"You must have met my brother."

"Zexion?" Roxas guessed.

"That's him. What did he do to you?"

"Uh…" Roxas looked puzzled. "Nothing. Except take my timetable. But he showed me to class."

Paine lifted an eyebrow. "Interesting. He must be up to something. Be careful."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Roxas asked.

Shrugging, Paine gestured to the left. "That's your class."

* * *

Maths passed painfully slowly. As he had guessed, everyone in the class was smarter than him, and this time no one wanted to talk to him. He sat right at the front, at a table by himself, as the teacher, a boring man called Mr Vexen, who seemed more interested in numbers than his students, talked for the entire hour about how demanding the course was going to be and how hard they would have to work to avoid failure. 

As soon as the bell rang, Roxas was out of there, following the other students towards the sixth form common room, where most year 12 and 13 students hung out during their free periods. He saw no sign of Axel or Zexion, but the waving blonde in the shorts and top so small it was practically a bra, was hard to miss. He headed over to the other end of the common room, where the three girls were sitting.

"Hi Roxas," Yuna greeted, smiling as Rikku hugged him as if they'd been friends for years. "How was maths?"

"Boring. Tedious. Horrible." He replied, flopping onto the squishy, comfy chairs and throwing his backpack onto the floor.

"I told you so!" Rikku grinned, sitting down next to him. Yuna and Paine occupied the seats opposite, so that the four of them had their own corner of the room to themselves. "You should have picked R.E. We're learning about Buddhism and stuff!"

Smiling outwardly, Roxas's insides were cramping up. The mention of Buddhism brought back memories he would rather keep hidden. Rikku and Yuna were oblivious to his discomfort, but he noticed Paine watching him carefully.

"We should go to the library." Yuna was saying, "Get that homework out of the way."

Rikku frowned in disgust. "Traitor!" she joked, sticking her tongue out at her friend, who looked to Paine for support. The goth shrugged, and Yuna turned her attention to Roxas. "We shouldn't let it pile up." She told him, eyes pleading with him to agree with her.

"OK." He agreed. "Five properties of water, right? Shouldn't take too long."

"Wrong!" a voice said from behind him. Seeing Paine roll her eyes, Roxas turned to see Axel leaning on the back of his chair, Zexion standing just behind him. "Hey there, Yuna. Changed your mind about that date yet?"

"Stop hitting on my sister's friends, you wanker." Zexion grinned, shoving Axel to one side and grabbing Roxas's arm. "Come on, kid. We're blowing this joint."

"What?" Roxas asked, grabbing his backpack before he was dragged away. He looked at the three girls helplessly. Yuna was looking away sadly, Rikku glared at Axel angrily and Paine's face was expressionless, as always.

"We're leaving the school premises." His captor elaborated.

"Isn't that against the rules?" Roxas asked as Zexion released his grip and he was allowed to walk on his own, between the two older boys.

Axel chuckled. "Yeah, but so what? You've got third and fourth free, plus lunch, and we'll bring you back fifth."

"What about you? Don't you have lessons to go to?" They were walking down the path at the front of the school, headed for the gates, which nobody ever bothered to lock.

Zexion shrugged. "No one's gonna miss us."


	2. The Boy With The Impish Face

The local shopping area was small and full of elderly old women, buying their groceries. There wasn't much in the way of decent shops. What was laughing called the "High Street" consisted of a couple of bookstores, a hairdresser's, a toy shop, a stationery shop and a repair shop.

The three boys sat on a bench outside the only newsagents in the area. Well, Roxas sat on the bench, Zexion sat on the wall behind it with his feet on the bench and Axel lay along the wall with his hands behind his head, as if he was sunbathing.

"Lesson one." the redhead said from his relaxed position near Roxas's head, "Acquisition of goods."

The blonde gave him a perplexed look. Why did he have to talk in a way that was so confusing?

"Go get us some sweets." Zexion told him. Roxas didn't see why he had to buy sweets for all three of them, but, not wanting to argue, he stood up anyway. The two boys watched him in amusement as he walked into the newsagents and purchased three bars of chocolate, offering two of them to Axel and Zexion when he returned.

"Wrong." Zexion grinned.

"Game Over. Please insert coin." Axel said, his grin as wide as Zexion's.

Roxas looked at them in confusion. "You don't like chocolate?" he hazarded.

Sighing, Axel sat up and put an arm around Roxas's shoulder, drawing him close as if he was about to impart sacred wisdom. "We don't pay for our sweets. Capiche?"

Roxas shook his head. He had an idea about where this was going, and hoped that he was wrong. Remembering Paine's warning, he wished he had listened and stayed away from these two.

"Watch and learn." Axel instructed, strolling casually towards the newsagent's. He browsed the selection of sweets on offer, picking up a couple of different brands of chocolate and putting them down again. Shrugging, he waved at the cashier and left the shop. As he emerged, Zexion grabbed Roxas's arm and started walking away. Axel joined them as they headed towards the nearest corner, out of sight.

"Voila!" Axel said as he produced several chocolate bars from his sleeves, with a flourish. "Sugary goodness, free of charge."

Roxas's heart sank into his stomach, joining the butterflies that had already gathered there. He took the Mars bar that Axel offered, putting it in his pocket with the intention of getting rid of it as soon as possible.

His two new "friends" joked about for a while, as Roxas stood to one side, reluctant to join in, but too scared to leave. He had no idea what time it was, and was becoming increasingly worried that he would miss his lesson fifth period. Not a good start to the school year.

"Well, look who it isn't." Axel said in mock surprise as he spotted a pale, ill looking boy walking past with a guitar case strapped to his back, trying not to be noticed. The boy looked about Roxas's age, and he was wearing his own clothes, so he must be in the sixth form. His hair was dirty blonde and styled into a kind of mullet, with the aide of a lot of gel.

"Lesson two." Zexion whispered in Roxas's ear, "Intimidation of enemies."

Roxas really didn't like the sound of that. He watched soundlessly as Axel grabbed the boy's guitar and unzipped the case, bringing out a battered electric guitar, covered in stickers with various band names and movie logos.

"Check this out, Zexion. My Chemical Romance… isn't that a band your sister likes?"

The silver haired emo smirked, standing in front of the boy and crossing his arms, preventing him from making a grab for the guitar. "Emo for the masses. Sell outs."

"What's this? A Pokemon?" Axel studied one particular sticker closely. It was a fierce blue creature that looked like a cross between a fish and a dragon. Roxas recognised it as Gyarados, but he wasn't about to mention that.

"No wonder you can't find a boyfriend." Zexion mocked, looking down at the boy with a look of contempt. The dirty blonde gritted his teeth in determination.

"Give it back." He demanded, staring Zexion in the eye, fists clenched at his sides. The older boy tilted his head, a thoughtful expression on his face. He stepped to the side, leaving a clear line of sight between the boy and Axel.

"Yeah Axel, give Demyx his guitar back." He chastised, his tone sarcastic. Grinning widely, Axel threw the instrument at the boy's head, forcing him to duck. His guitar hit the ground near Roxas's feet, but Roxas didn't dare pick it up and give it to him, for fear of what Axel and Zexion would do to him. Demyx retrieved it himself, grabbing his case and running off towards the school without a backwards glance.

* * *

Relief flooded Roxas's system when he was allowed to return to school, just in time for fifth period. Axel and Zexion had stayed in the shopping area, so he had to find his physics classroom by himself. This meant that he was late when he entered the class. The teacher, a young man with bleached blonde hair and a serious expression, introduced himself as Mr Strife. 

"Take a seat quickly, the lesson's already begun." He said gruffly, turning back towards the board. Locating the only available seat left in the classroom, Roxas sat down and took out his pencil case and paper. Only then did he turn his head to see who was sitting next to him.

Smiling weakly, Demyx turned his attention back to the front of the class. He recognised Roxas as the boy who was with Axel and Zexion earlier. He must be new, or he'd have noticed him before. As he started copying down notes from the board, he wondered why a quiet looking kid like him was hanging out with those two retards. He hadn't joined in, he'd just watched, silently, expressionlessly. Was he some kind of psychopath, or an innocent who'd been roped into their sick games?

Roxas's stomach twisted in guilt. What must the boy sitting to his left think of him? He'd offered no help while Axel and Zexion had bullied him. Could he have stopped them? Maybe not, but he could at least have tried.

Crap, the lesson was about to end and he hadn't said a single word. Demyx was going to think that he was a bully, like Axel and Zexion. He should at least apologise for what they'd done.

The accursed bell rang, startling him out of his thoughts. He'd never get used to that shrill, piercing tone. One day it was going to give him a heart attack, he knew it.

Demyx had stood up, eager to be the first one out of the classroom. Mentally cursing himself for not paying attention, Roxas hurried after the boy. Damn, he was fast. It must come from years of running away from danger.

"Demyx!" he called. The boy stopped and turned around, wondering who had called him. His eyes widened in surprise as Roxas ran to catch up with him, panting lightly.

"I just." He stopped to catch his breath, hoping that Demyx wouldn't just run away from him. He must have decided that Roxas wasn't a threat, because he waited patiently for him to speak again.

"I just wanted to apologise for what Axel and Zexion did. You know, earlier. They're not, I'm not, I mean…"

Not quite smiling, Demyx's expression lightened. This close up, Roxas noticed the shape of his face, pointed like a pixy. His curved ears that stuck out slightly and bright blue eyes emphasised this effect.

"Don't worry about it." He replied. "They've done worse. It wasn't that bad, considering."

Considering what, Roxas wondered. Smiling awkwardly, he said, "Well, I'm sorry anyway. Maybe we can be friends?"

He didn't know what compelled him to say that, but the strange look on Demyx's impish face, a mixture of surprise and happiness, made him glad that he had.

"OK. See you around, Roxas."

Standing in the middle of path that ran up the front of the school, Roxas watched him fast-walk away.

* * *

"Did you have a good day?" His mother called from the living room, where she was reading a book. Didn't she ever do anything but read? 

Stopping to take off his trainers so that he wouldn't get mud on the perfect cream carpet that covered the stairs, Roxas called a noncommittal "yeah" back to her before ascending to his bedroom. He threw his backpack to the floor and flopped onto his bed. Something rustled in his pocket and he pulled out the Mars bar that he'd meant to throw away. After staring at it for a few seconds, Roxas shrugged and unwrapped it. It wasn't often he got to eat chocolate that he hadn't bought himself. His mum was a health freak and his dad was a dentist.

Staring at his backpack, which contained two lots of homework, he stuck his tongue out at it and turned on his laptop instead. While he waited for it to load up, he finished the chocolate bar and shoved the wrapper back into his pocket. God forbid his mother should find it in his bin and confront him about it. She'd probably think he was binge eating, on the evidence of one bar of chocolate.

Smiling to himself, Roxas double clicked the Internet Explorer icon, and the page automatically opened on MySpace. He signed in, pulse racing, expecting to find comments from his friends, saying how much they'd missed him. He'd already left a few on Hayner's site, telling him how he was settling in to his new house, and how nervous he was to be starting a new school.

He looked at the empty space where there should be a bold, red message, telling him that he had new comments. Chewing on the soft flesh of his index finger, Roxas checked his comment box, just in case there'd been a mistake. At the top of the list was a message from Olette, left there weeks ago, a reminder to stay in touch.

_Great job you've done following your own advice_, he thought bitterly, moving the cursor over the red X at the top right corner of the screen.

Something made him pause for a second. He clicked on the search bar and typed in the name of his new school, looking for students between the ages of 16 and 18. Scanning the first few names and pictures, he thought he recognised a few by sight, but there were none that he'd spoken to. When he clicked "next", he found a familiar grinning blonde with her hair in plaits, standing on the beach in the middle of august.

Smiling to himself, he clicked on Rikku's picture and was instantly confronted with a barrage of pink. Just as he had adjusted to this, the page finished loading and his ears were molested with some kind of Japanese pop music, sung in the most sugary, hyper voice imaginable. Shuddering, he swiftly scrolled down to the friends section and clicked on the picture of Yuna that was first on the list. Her site was very basic, no glaring background, no song and she'd actually taken the time to fill out the information under each heading. Roxas scanned the text, then moved down to her friend list, which was considerably shorter than Rikku's, but probably contained a higher percentage of people she actually knew and talked to.

Next to Rikku's picture was a drawing of a demon with huge black wings. The name said EternalPaine, and underneath the picture was green italicised text that said _online now!_ Curious to see what her page was like, Roxas clicked on the link.

Paine's background was plain black, with blood red text. At the top of the page were a couple of poems he guessed she'd written herself, full of death and torment and general teenage girl hormonal emotion. Noticing that there was a blog entry for today, Roxas clicked on it. The title was "New Beginnings" and it read:

_First day of sixth form turned out to be like every other day. Mindless sheep drift from class to class, bleating at each other and not listening to what the other sheep are saying._

_But then I met a wolf. His blue eyes show intelligence, sadness and pain. A fox and a leopard will try to lead him astray. I hope he finds his own way through the pain. I hope he doesn't become lost in the darkness.

* * *

_

**A/N:** Cloud isn't exactly the perfect candidate for a Physics teacher, but I had to include him somewhere. You'll see a large cast of extras building up, with a few more main characters. I've made a plan/outline thing, which extends to 22 chapters, but I might merge a couple together, or one or two might grow out of control and have to be split into 2 chapters, so I don't really know how many I'll end up with. In the next chapter, we find out more about Paine and Zexion, and Roxas's friendship with Demyx grows.


	3. Questions Left Unanswered

**A/N: **Thanks to my one reviewer, and the two other people that put this fic on story alert. This is dedicated to the three of you. I'm not entirely happy wth this chapter, but the next will be better. We'll get to know Paine better and something will happen between Roxas and Demyx. Oh, and we'll meet a new character. For now, though, you're stuck with this interesting but uneventful chapter.

* * *

Putting on hand over his mouth to stifle a yawn, Roxas approached the school entrance for his second day at Radiant Garden secondary school. He hadn't got to bed until 1 a.m, as he had stayed up all night reading Paine's blog, which stretched right back over the previous 2 years. She never referred to anyone by name, even her references to important events in her life were obscure, but the insights she provided into the world around her were incredible. Roxas remembered how she'd sat through the entire Biology lesson, observing him, then summarised the most significant thing about him in a single sentence. Her silence didn't isolate her from the people around her; she didn't need to talk to her friends to know how they were feeling, what they were worried about and what was going wrong in their lives. 

As Roxas reached the gates, a black car with tinted windows pulled up to the school. A few other kids were staring with mild interest as the door opened and a familiar head of silver hair stepped out, followed by shortly cropped hair of the same colour. Paine walked quickly to distance herself from her brother, but stopped briefly when she passed Roxas, pulling something out of her bag and handing it to him wordlessly. Zexion reached the point where Roxas stood just as the goth reached the end of the path, pushing through a crowd of year nines to get to the main building.

"You gonna stand there all day?" he asked, nudging Roxas gently to start him walking. The blonde threw a quick glance over his shoulder, but the car had driven away. He wanted to ask why Paine and Zexion were driven to school in a car with tinted windows, but then he remembered what the silver haired boy had done to Demyx. A little bit of teasing didn't seem that bad, but the way Demyx had acted when Roxas had spoken to him suggested that they had done worse in the past. He didn't want to risk annoying either of them if he could help it.

"What did she give you? A love letter?" Zexion asked, reaching to grab the piece of paper Roxas held in his hand. Only half sure that Zexion was joking, and slightly scared of what the emo would do to him if he thought that he was interested in his sister, Roxas held the paper out and read the first few lines.

"'Five properties of water.'" He read. "'Number one: High latent heat of evaporation.' This is the Biology homework."

Zexion raised an eyebrow. "Fascinating." Roxas could tell that he'd lost interest, satisfied that the contents of the paper were harmless.

He'd forgotten about this homework. How had Paine known that he hadn't done it, and why had she written out a copy for him?

* * *

"Lesson three. Correct attire." 

They were out in the shopping area again, during Roxas's only free period of the day. He'd already had his first Chemistry lesson, during which his teacher, Dr Merlin, had showed them what would happen if they dropped a lit match into a puddle of methanol. Roxas was already looking forward to the next lesson.

Axel, meanwhile, was continuing his out-of-school education. This lesson didn't sound as bad as the others. As long as they weren't going to make him steal anything.

Zexion was leaning against a wall, stroking his chin thoughtfully as if it contained a beard. "Your mother bought those clothes for you, didn't she?"

Blushing profusely, Roxas remained silent, reluctant to admit that he was right. He'd never seen anything wrong with the way he dressed.

Taking out a pocket knife, Axel approached Roxas and dropped to his knees. Grinning happily, he grabbed the fabric of Roxas's jeans and tore a hole with the knife, widening it with the blade. He did the same with the other leg, then stepped back to review his handiwork.

"Nice." Zexion commented. Looking down at his newly ripped jeans, Roxas couldn't help but think they looked kind of cool. When he was younger, he'd constantly had tears in his clothing, from following his brother up trees and over rocks. His jeans had been covered in grass stains, too, from wrestling matches held on the front lawn. Back then his mother hadn't cared how dirty he got. Now… shit. She was going to have a fit.

Seeing his face, Zexion started laughing. "Worried what mummy's gonna say?"

Roxas started to blush again. Was it so obvious what he was thinking? Paine wasn't the only one who could see right through him. Maybe it ran in the family.

"The t-shirt's OK, for now." Zexion continued, "But we need to go shopping, sometime soon."

All Roxas could do was nod. He didn't like they way they switched between gentle teasing, to almost bullying, to being nice to him. He hadn't forgotten what Paine had said yesterday.

The clock at the centre of the shopping area caught Roxas's attention. "Uh… I'd better get to class." He muttered.

* * *

This time Roxas arrived in his physics classroom early, which gave him plenty of seats to choose from. He sat down at a table near the window, leaving space for someone to sit next to him if they wanted. 

When Demyx entered the classroom, he looked around for a few seconds, then his eyes lit up as he spotted Roxas.

"Is anyone sitting here?" he asked nervously, indicating the seat next to him. Shaking his head, Roxas smiled as the dirty blonde sat down next to him.

"No guitar today?"

Demyx shook his head. "I only bring it if I have music."

"Oh, so you're taking music A level?"

"Yeah." The musician smiled. "Music, art, physics, geography. You?"

Roxas told him which subjects he was taking. Demyx's reaction was much like Zexion's had been, only less insulting.

"You must be some kinda genius or something."

Shrugging, Roxas replied, "There's more than one type of genius."

At this point, Mr Strife entered the room and a calm fell over the chattering students. They had learned yesterday that he preferred silence in his lessons. The serious man was strict, but an excellent teacher.

As the lesson drew to a close and a low level of talking was permitted, Roxas asked Demyx what he was doing after school.

"What? Uh, well, homework, I guess. Why?"

Amused by his new friend's nervous reaction, Roxas replied, "Do you want to come over my house? We can do the homework together. And talk, if you want."

A slow smile started to spread over Demyx's face, but then it fell suddenly and he bit his lip. "Um, I don't think that's such a good idea." He mumbled. Turning his head to see what Demyx was so worried about, Roxas saw Axel and Zexion pulling faces outside the classroom door.

"Oh." He replied. "OK then."

* * *

"Why were you talking to that freak?" 

Roxas was pinned against the wall by Axel's strong arms, being interrogated while Zexion watched, cigarette in hand.

"He. Um. We." Roxas's mind raced, trying to come up with a convincing lie. "He sat next to me. There was nothing I could do."

"You didn't have to talk to him." Zexion pointed out, blowing smoke in his face.

"Um…" Roxas swallowed, afraid of what they'd do to him if they figured out that he and Demyx were becoming friends.

"Leave him alone." The voice that spoke was emotionless and hard. Axel narrowed his eyes and released his hold on Roxas. He turned to face Paine, who was standing with her arms crossed, staring at him.

"We were only talking. Right, Zexion?"

"It's none of her business." The silver haired boy said, matching his sister's stance and directing his next sentence at her: "Fuck off or I'll tell Dad I caught you smoking."

"Do that and I'll tell him you've been cutting class." The goth replied, tilting her head to the left to indicate to Roxas that he should come with her. Obediently, he followed her back to the common room, where Rikku and Yuna were discussing boys.

"Yay!" Rikku squealed, hugging Roxas again. He wondered whether she acted like this towards all the boys she knew, or whether she had a crush on him. Probably the former, given her cheerful disposition.

He sat with the girls throughout lunch. Yuna kept trying to bring him into the conversation, but something at the back of his mind was worrying about Axel and Zexion. On top of this, Paine was watching him again. What insights was she gleaning from his anxious expression?

Last lesson was Biology. When Miss Gainsborough collected his homework, she looked at it for a second, as if wondering why it was written in Paine's curly handwriting, but she took it with a smile, moving on to Yuna. Roxas did his best to pay attention to the lesson this time, ignoring a talkative Rikku, who didn't seem able to switch off.

When school was over, Roxas glanced nervously around him as he walked down the path, but Axel and Zexion were nowhere to be seen. The sound of someone calling his name made him jump out of his skin.

"Hi." Demyx greeted, appearing out of nowhere. He seemed more relaxed now that his tormentors weren't around.

"Hi." Roxas said, returning the greeting. "Change your mind about coming home with me?"

"Um, well yeah, kind of. If that's OK."

"Of course."

* * *

"Did you have a good day?" His mother called from the living room. As usual, she was reading, although it was a different book today. 

"Yeah." Roxas replied as usual. "I've got a friend over, OK?"

"I'm not feeding him."

Rolling his eyes at Demyx, Roxas took off his trainers and motioned for the other boy to do the same. Demyx followed him up to his room, where he stood in the doorway, looking around in amazement. "Are your folks rich or something?"

"Not particularly." Roxas shrugged, sitting on his bed, curling on leg underneath him and picking at the loose threads around the hole at the knee. It had never occurred to him before how well off he was, and now that Demyx had mentioned it, he felt a little embarrassed. Thankfully, the musician dropped the subject.

"So, this is your first year at Radiant Garden, right?"

Roxas nodded. "I used to go to a private school. We moved house recently so that I was closer to the secondary school.

"My parents would never do that for me."

"We needed to move anyway." Roxas shrugged, looking down at his jeans.

"Why?" The musician tilted his head questioningly.

Biting his lip, Roxas studied the fabric of his jeans closely.

"Um, OK." Demyx shrugged, changing the subject as soon as he realised that Roxas didn't want to talk about it. "Did you have many friends in your old school?"

Smiling, Roxas replied, "Three really close friends. Hayner, Pence and Olette. We used to spend every day of the summer together, and at the end of each day we bought sea salt ice cream."

Demyx sighed. "I wish I had friends like that."

Remembering the empty comment box, Roxas wondered whether they were as good friends as he thought they were. The three of them were probably having fun without him.

"What about you?" He asked, not wanting to get caught up in the subject of his friends.

"What about me? I'm a Pisces, my favourite colour is blue and I cried at the end of Brokeback Mountain."

This elicited a smile from Roxas. "You know what I mean. You don't seem to have many friends… or any at all…"

Demyx stared at him for a while. When the musician finally spoke, he startled Roxas, who had started to worry that he'd offended him.

"I used to have a couple of friends, but they turned against me when they found out something about me that they didn't like."

Roxas didn't know what to say. Before he could ask what they'd found out, Demyx spoke again.

"I'm actually in the year above you, you know. I missed a year of school, so I had to start sixth form this term."

Knowing better than to ask questions, Roxas said nothing. And awkward silence filled the room, until Demyx suggested that they get on with the homework.

* * *

When Demyx finally left, Roxas logged on to MySpace again, unsurprised to find his comment box still empty. He went back to Paine's page, but she hadn't added a blog entry for today. Disappointed, Roxas went to bed. 


	4. Dolphins Will Inherit The Earth

**A/N: **Here's chapter 4. We have plot revelations, character development, a new character and a little bit of angst. We also focus on Paine a bit more, switching to her point of view for the first time. I intend to develop all three of the Gullwings as the story progresses (I already have back stories planned), but Paine will be my secondary main character, after Roxas, and I'll be switching to her more often than anyone else. I also intend to be true to Final Fantasy X2 as much as possible. For example, the idea that Yuna is a good singer comes from the fact that she has the Songstress dress sphere in X2. You'll notice more of these X2 references in later chapters, if you've played the game.

* * *

"What about Girl Power?" Rikku's enthusiastic grin threatened to split her face in half. Paine raised an eyebrow and, seeing that her friend was about to make some tactless comment, Yuna quickly stepped in: 

"I don't think that really suits us, do you?"

"We should be called Amazon. Or Yuna's Warriors." Paine suggested.

"Why _Yuna's_ Warriors?" Rikku whined.

"She's the lead singer. The band should be named after her."

"Roxas? What do you think we should call it?"

Roxas groaned inwardly as six eyes turned his way. Why did they always turn to him to resolve their arguments? For once, he wished that Zexion and Axel would turn up soon.

"Don't count on being rescued." Paine warned, reading his thoughts as usual. "My brother went to Axel's house last night and didn't come home. I'd be surprised if he was in a state to dress himself, let alone get himself to school."

The two older boys had soon forgotten about seeing him with Demyx, and Roxas hadn't rushed to tell them that he was spending more and more time with the musician outside of school. In the past two weeks, Axel and Zexion had given him plenty more lessons, determined to turn him into an adolescent deviant. He still refused to skip class, although he was sorely tempted to do so when it was time for double maths. Mr Vexen was actually becoming more boring every day. He must have been doing it on purpose. No one could be that dull.

Whenever he could, he hung out with the girls, who just happened to be currently staring at him, waiting for him to pick a name for the band they had spontaneously decided to form. Despite having no musical talent, Rikku was determined to be drummer, thinking that all she would have to do was bang some drums with a couple of sticks. Yuna was, of course, a natural candidate for the role of lead singer, and Paine was a competent bassist. Roxas had been designated the role of Groupie.

"I don't think you should name it after one of you." He suggested tentatively. "It could cause arguments."

"Yeah!" Rikku agreed, sticking her tongue out at Paine and completely missing the point.

In an attempt to calm her down before she became hyperactive and started jumping on the chairs, Roxas said, "Think of something you all have in common."

Rikku shut up and frowned, obviously deep in thought. "I like flying." She said thoughtfully.

"And I like animals." Yuna added.

"Paine, you like strong sounding names. Think of something that incorporates animals and flying." Roxas suggested.

"Eaglewings."

Rikku shook her head profusely, but Yuna looked thoughtful.

"Hawkwings." Paine offered.

"Gullwings." Yuna said softly. The other two looked at her, then at each other, nodding in unison and turning their gazes to Roxas.

"Gullwings it is, then." He sighed, relieved that they'd finally been able to agree on something.

"Yay!" Rikku squealed, thrusting her fist into the air in excitement. Roxas had never actually seen someone do that before.

"Problem." Paine said, interrupting the blonde's celebration. "We need a lead guitarist."

Ignoring Rikku's pout, Yuna replied, "It's just for fun. Do we really need a guitarist?"

"I know someone." Roxas interjected. "You might not know him. He used to be in the year above, but he missed a year, so he started sixth form at the same time as us."

"You mean Demyx?" Paine asked, frowning.

"Yeah. You know him?"

The goth's expression was thoughtful. "He used to be Zexion's friend, something happened between them. I heard he spent last year in hospital."

"What?" Roxas asked, surprised. Demyx hadn't mentioned this to him. What had happened that was so bad he couldn't talk about it?

"Is he any good?" Rikku interrupted, eager to be back in the conversation.

"I… Um, I don't know. I haven't heard him play." Roxas replied distractedly.

"We could audition him." Yuna suggested. "Do you think he'd agree to play for us after school today?"

"Not today." Paine said. "I have that thing."

"What thing?" Rikku asked.

"The English Lit thing." Yuna reminded her. "They're going to see a play."

"Oh yeah!" Rikku grinned. "Well, we can audition Roxas's friend some other time."

"I'll tell him you're interested." Roxas said. "Have fun at your thing."

Paine raised her eyebrow at him.

"Silly." Rikku giggled, "Paine doesn't know the meaning of fun."

* * *

Stepping into the coach that was to take them to Stratford, where they had tickets to see the Canterbury Tales, Paine surveyed the groups of students that had got on before her. Near the front, huddled together and giggling, was a pair of girls who were in the same class as her. Larxene was a drama queen who been in all of Paine's classes in the past two years, and hadn't wasted a single opportunity to make fun of her. Selphie was captain of the girl's hockey team, and had frequently made remarks about Paine's flat chest in the changing rooms before P.E. Sitting near them wasn't even an option. 

The back row was occupied by Marluxia and his friends. If she sat near them, they were bound to throw things at her, then act innocent if she threw anything back. Besides, Marluxia had asked her out last year, and hadn't reacted well to rejection.

Selecting an empty seat well away from everyone else, Paine placed her bag on the seat beside her, took out her MP3 player, stuck the earphones in her ears and turned it on. Deciding that she wasn't in the mood for Taking Back Sunday's whiny emo, she flicked through the albums until she found Placebo, her favourite band. Brian Molko's strong androgynous voice filled her ears and she relaxed, anticipating a long journey.

"Hey, is anyone sitting there?"

With her eyes closed, she almost didn't realise that she was being addressed. It wasn't until she was softly poked in the arm that she opened her eyes and realised that Yuffie Kisaragi was talking to her.

Taking her earphones out, she sat up straight, overcome with embarrassment. Thank Athena the girl was persistent, or she'd have moved on, thinking that Paine was antisocial or something.

"Hi. Sorry. You can sit here, if you want." She smiled, uncharacteristically flustered. The petite Japanese girl had started at Radiant Gardens this year, same as Roxas. This was the first time that Paine had talked to her, although she'd spent several English lessons staring at her from across the classroom in interest. Yuffie didn't participate in class discussion very often, although she always paid close attention to what was being said, taking detailed notes. When she did have something to contribute, it was intelligent and well considered.

Larxene and Selphie had tried to befriend her a couple of times, but although Yuffie had replied to their conversation politely, she never accepted their invitations to eat lunch with them, despite the fact that this meant she usually ate alone. She must have realised that the girls were vultures, preying on those who didn't fit in.

Paine was usually a good judge of character. She had decided that Roxas was a wolf as soon as she met him. Rikku was unmistakeably a hyperactive squirrel, who loved the idea of flying but always made her home on the ground. Yuna was a quiet little dormouse, friendly towards everyone. Yuffie, however, was harder to place. Was she a graceful gazelle, leaping from place to place, or an elegant swan, outshining all others?

"Thanks." She replied to Paine's offer, slipping into the aisle seat as soon as the goth moved her bag. "Did you know that's the first time I've heard you speak?"

Paine hadn't realise that the Japanese girl had put so much thought into her existence. "I'm the quiet type." She replied, shrugging. "Around people I don't know anyway. I open up in the company of friends."

"Oh, I guess we must be friends then." Short black hair framed a heart shaped face that smiled up at Paine.

"I didn't mean… Only if you want to be. Friends, that is." Why was she finding it so hard to form coherent sentences? Rikku was much better at this making friends thing than she was. Thankfully, Yuffie was the friendly type, because Paine wouldn't have been able to carry the conversation on her own. With Yuffie mostly guiding the conversation, the topic swiftly focused on her.

"My family moved to England in March. I spent the last few months out of school, mostly hanging around the house. I didn't know anyone in this country."

"You speak English like a native." Paine told her.

"My Mom's from America, so I grew up with two first languages." Yuffie explained. "Dad doesn't speak any English at all, so he's having to learn it from scratch. Between you and me, he's not that good."

"Why did you choose English Literature as an A level?" Paine asked.

"Mom used to give me books written in English, so that I could read the language as well as I could speak it. Your country has some beautiful literature. Of course, I'm a huge Manga fan as well." Yuffie opened her bag, showing Paine the fourth and fifth volumes of Fushigi Yugi with the cover title written in Japanese letters.

"I wish I could read Manga in the language it was written." Paine said. "You're so lucky to be bilingual."

"You're a Manga fan too? What's your favourite series?"

The Japanese girl was slowly getting Paine to relax around her. As they talked, Paine tried to figure out what animal Yuffie was. At first she thought that she must be some kind of cat, but despite her feline appearance and grace, she was too friendly. A dog then? No, she was too intelligent and independent.

Finally, it dawned on her. Yuffie was a dolphin – intelligent, sociable, graceful and free.

* * *

Roxas had ended up at Demyx's house after school again. The musician's parents were relaxed about rules, and allowed him to have a fridge in his room, which was in the basement. This meant that their homework sessions frequently involved ice cream. 

"Someone told me that you spent last year in hospital." Roxas said casually. There was a moment's silence before the other boy replied.

"Yeah."

Roxas had learned that this meant Demyx didn't want to talk about it, but he was annoyed that he hadn't told him this before, so he decided to push the subject.

"Why were you in hospital? It must have been pretty serious to land you there for a year."

"It wasn't a whole year. Only nine and a half months."

"Stop avoiding the question."

Demyx looked his friend in the eye. "Last year, I tried to kill myself. I almost succeeded too; the blood loss was so much that the doctors told my parents I probably wouldn't make it. I spent nine and a half months in recovery. Happy now?"

Roxas had no idea what to say. Was he serious? What could possibly have happened to make his life so bad that he had become suicidal? Was it something to do with Axel and Zexion?

"Sorry." He whispered, casting his eyes downwards, unable to look his friend in the eyes.

Sighing, Demyx put a hand underneath Roxas's chin, bringing his head up to face him. "You didn't know. Besides, I'm OK now. They put me on anti-depressants."

They'd given Namine anti-depressants, after the accident. The drugs hadn't helped. If anything, they'd only made her worse.

"Roxas?" Demyx said, concerned that he might have reacted too coldly.

"Sorry. I was thinking about something." Roxas apologised, suddenly aware that the musician's fingers still rested on his chin. For some reason, he didn't feel compelled to move away.

"You shouldn't think too much. It's not good for you."

The boys shared a smile. Aware that Demyx was pulling his face closer, Roxas wondered if he should stop him, but before he could move, their lips were pressed together. Heart pounding, Roxas felt a shiver travel up his spine, spreading throughout his entire body, weakening him. Pulling back so that he rested his weight on his hands, he stared at Demyx and breathing hard. The musician's face betrayed his nervousness as he kept his eyes fixed on Roxas, waiting for him to make the next move.

Before he could think about what he was doing, Roxas lunged forward, capturing Demyx's lips in a more aggressive kiss, grabbing the musician's face with both hands. Fingers trailed lightly down his back as Demyx opened his mouth, allowing Roxas to enter with his tongue. Briefly running it along the other boy's bottom lip, Roxas suddenly came to his senses and pulled away.

"I'm sorry. I can't… I just can't." He apologised breathlessly, gathering his things and leaving as quickly as he could. Demyx was left sitting on his bedroom floor, his gaze fixed on the door. How could he have been stupid enough to think that Roxas would have wanted him? Especially after what had happened last time. He might as well face the fact that he was destined to end up alone.

* * *

Paine sat down at her computer and started to type. It had been weeks since her last blog entry, the one mentioning Roxas. Despite the fact that the coach had arrived back at the school at midnight, she felt like writing. 

_I've never liked the ocean. Its vastness scares me. It holds the secrets of our past, and threatens to destroy our future. Only a fool would underestimate its power._

_But perhaps I was blinded by fear. I forgot about the beauty contained within the ocean's shadowy depths. A rainbow of fish paints the sea with colour. Whales call out, filling the waves with song._

_Dolphins play in the place where water meets the sky. They have no worries, no fear. What must they think of us, as they gaze upon our war and poverty? Do they see us as a plague, scarring the surface of their planet? Do they pity our lost innocence?_

_I have no doubt that when the human race wipes itself out through our own stupidity, dolphins will inherit the earth._


	5. Insubstantial as a Dream

**A/N: **This chapter contains the most significant content so far. No Gullwings in this chapter, but you'll see more of them next chapter. Poor Demyx doesn't reappear until chapter 7, but he'll feature more heavily in the fic after that. I've decided that I like writing Zexion and Axel. Everyone has to have two clowns. I'd say Zexion was the 'straight' one, but they both have funny moments. I like writing dreams too. Anyway, enjoy chapter 5. It ends in a kind of cliff hanger.

* * *

Every time Roxas came here, he tried to breathe as little as possible. The sickly smell of the dying invaded his nostrils like a cancer invades the lungs, slowly overwhelming until you can't take another breath. It was an easy excuse not to visit. Roxas knew that he didn't come here as often as he should. 

So why was he here now? When he left Demyx's basement, he intended to go straight home, but his feet had taken him towards the nearest bus stop, and it wasn't until he was standing outside the large white hospital building that he had regained control of himself.

Something buried deep within his unconscious must have known that if he had gone home to his isolated bedroom, he would have been forced to dwell on what had just happened. Perhaps remembering could be a way of forgetting. One tragic event pushes all of life's worries aside, which seem dwarfed by comparison. So what if Demyx had kissed him? His brother was lying in a coma.

An indication that he had neglected his brotherly duties was that he couldn't remember how to find the room. He had to ask at the front desk, and even then he'd passed it before realising he'd gone too far and turning back.

He hadn't moved since the last time Roxas was here. Chocolate brown hair flopped uselessly on the pillow, unwashed and devoid of its once healthy shine. With his eyes closed, the life and energy they contained was meaningless. Inanimate as a puppet, insubstantial as a dream. Roxas was finding it harder and harder to remember his voice, but his movement and mannerisms remained fresh in his memory. The way he grinned after telling a joke, as if it was the first time he'd heard it. The way he grabbed you into a hug, just because you were there and he loved you. The determined look he got when challenged. They were the things that defined him, and they were unforgettable.

Pulling up the chair that rested against the whitewashed wall of the tiny, cramped room, Roxas sat next to his brother's bed, studying him for a while, drinking in every detail. When this scrutiny was done, he reached out and stroked a lock of limp, dry hair, twisting it around his finger and then letting it slide from his grasp.

Looking around the room, he saw a mass grave of flowers on the bedside table. Were the nurses too lazy to take them away when they started to wilt, or at least put them in vases to keep them fresher for longer? A bunch of daffodils stood out from the rest, standing proudly in a glass of water, which had probably been the only receptacle around. Bright yellow petals brought colour and life to the deathly pale tedium of the hospital room. They looked hand picked, but a simple cardboard tag had been tied onto the tallest stem with care. Reaching out, Roxas turned the tag so that he could read it.

"I heard from Riku the other day. He knows you don't blame him, but he needs some time to find himself. Namine's condition is worsening, but she still recognises me when I visit.

I'll bring more daffodils next week. It's silly, but I get the feeling you appreciate them.

Yours always, Kairi."

Tears slid down Roxas's cheek, but he made no motion to brush them away. They gathered on his chin before falling into his lap, each one splashing silently. He took his brother's hand, careful not to squeeze too hard. Being fed intravenously would weaken even the strongest of heroes.

The desire to break down and pour his heart out was almost suffocating, but Roxas couldn't bring himself to speak to this pale china doll that wore his brother's face. His body might be present, but his mind was elsewhere. The words would be wasted.

Yet Kairi still visited, once a week. She left messages, on the off chance that he might wake, and daffodils to cheer him up. Ever the optimistic. Roxas missed her, but he couldn't bring himself to take up her offers to send time with him.

Sitting on the cold, hard metal chair, breathing the suffocating aroma of death, he cried until the tears dried up and no longer flowed. Feeling drained but healed by the catharsis of sorrow, he kissed his brother's forehead and left him lying there, a shadow of his former self, life slowly draining away.

* * *

By the time he had caught the bus home, the sun had retreated and darkness covered the world like a blanket. Standing at the bus stop at the corner of his street, he contemplated going home, crawling into bed fully clothed and lying wide awake until morning came, unable to sleep. 

Not tempted by this scenario, he fished his mobile out of his pocket and turned it on. It needed a minute to get started, but when the loading screen disappeared and the menu came up, it told him that he had five new messages and two missed calls. He pressed a button and a list of messages came up.

Demyx 

**Demyx**

**Demyx**

**Demyx**

**Axel**

**Demyx**

Something told him that Demyx was trying to contact him. Roxas would bet anything that the missed calls were also from the musician. A slight twinge of guilt came over him as he ignored Demyx's messages, moved down to Axel's message instead and opening it.

**R u doin nefing 2nite? Alchl my hous u r invtd**

After a brief moment spent trying to translate this gross perversion of the English language, Roxas considered the offer. He'd received messages like this a couple of times before, and turned them down on the principle that he didn't drink, especially not on a school night.

Pressing the menu button, he typed a quick reply and started walking in the opposite direction to his house.

* * *

"Gimme." The redhead held out a gloved hand. A bottle was placed in his palm, and he brought it lovingly to his lips, taking a long drink. 

"Did you text Roxas?" Zexion asked, spreading himself out over a threadbare sofa that took up half of Axel's bedroom.

"Yep." His friend replied, taking another drink and turning on the TV and PS2. "Not that he'll turn up."

Shrugging, the silver haired boy picked up a Playstation controller lying at his feet. "Got any new games?"

"You're fucking kidding me." Axel glared at him from his position on the floor. Zexion winked and grabbed his backpack, pulling out two brand new games, the packaging unopened. "Grand Theft Auto or Medal of Honour?"

The games were thrown at the redhead, who glanced at the for a second, then tossed Medal of Honour to one side and ripped open the cellophane covering the driving game. His friend had guessed that would be the one he'd pick. At the speeds he drove, it was a miracle that Axel had passed his test over the summer.

"Hey, woah!" The speed freak jumped as his phone beeped. The two boys exchanged glances.

"It can't be Roxas-goody-two-shoes." Axel said, opening up his mobile and checking the screen. "Heh. There's something I thought I'd never see."

"Who's it from?" Zexion asked curiously. If he hadn't been so comfy on the squishy old sofa, he'd have got up and grabbed the phone away from the grinning redhead.

Turning the screen to face the emo, Axel held it up so that he could see it.The name at the top of the screen was Roxas and the message read:

**Im on my way. Dont drink it all without me

* * *

**

"I'm gonna win, biatch!"

"We'll see about that."

"Hey! No fair! Roxas, you saw that right? He bit me!"

"Sore loser."

"You fucking bitch!"

A tickle fight erupted somewhere behind an oblivious Roxas's head. Even if he cared, which he didn't, turning his head would undoubtedly make the world go all spinny again. That wouldn't be good. What if the world ended up sideways and he couldn't put it back again? What if it was sideways already and he was sitting on the wall and he was so drunk he hadn't noticed?

Lying down on his back, Roxas tried to figure out which way was up. Occasional squeals could be heard from the sofa. That direction must be down. So that meant Roxas was laying halfway up a wall. As soon as he realised this, he started to feel the tug of gravity that had been there all along. Clutching at his bottle desperately, he looked for a way down.

"Look at that." Axel's voice said, from somewhere far, far away.

"Someone's had too much to drink."

Strong fingers tried to take his bottle away. Roxas clung to it for dear life. It was the only thing keeping him from plunging to the ground.

"I'm drowning." He mumbled, protesting weakly against the arms that picked him up and placed him gently on the sofa. Axel's faint giggle was the last thing he heard before slipping into unconsciousness.

Waves crash over him as he struggles to remain upright, arms flailing madly against Nature's force. Unable to stop himself from going under, his body stops struggling and he surrenders to his fate.

* * *

_The deep current he felt pulling him down is gone. The waters have melted into a clear blue sky, and now the wind whistles past him, ruffling his hair and chilling him to the bone. Now he's flying, floating gently in the crosswinds of the violet sky._

_Down below is the familiar landscape of Destiny Island theme park, warped and perverted into a parody of itself. A huge roller coaster twists itself around the world like a snake, dominating the land. All along its length, cars full of people speed over the bumps and around the loops. Their faces are expressionless, their bodies insubstantial. Wraithlike, ghosts._

_Swooping nearer, Roxas recognises the people in the nearest car. At the front, a tall boy with platinum hair, blowing free in the wind. Sitting next to him is a boy with chocolate hair and an excited grin. Whatever Riku did, he always followed. Behind him is a raven-haired girl with chubby cheeks and smiling eyes, clutching her sister's hand reassuringly. Her sister's eyes are hollow, her skin as pale and cold as ice. She seems detached from the world, as if a puff of air could blow her away, but at the same time she seems more real than everyone else._

_Their car is heading for a bend in the track, and Roxas can see that the track is damaged. Stretching his arms forward, he goes into a nosedive, desperate to reach them before they crash, knowing that there's nothing he can do to prevent it._

_As the car reaches the broken track and its wheels slip, hurling the occupants into the air, Roxas cries out his brother's name, reaching out as if to snatch him from the sky._

"_Sora!"

* * *

_

"Sora!"

The blonde boy woke with a start, fingers clutching at air. After a few moments of confusion, he realised where he was and sank back into the sofa, moaning as bright pinpoints of light flashed before his eyes.

Rubbing his throbbing temples, he looked around the room, keeping movement to a minimum to avoid unnecessary pain. Zexion was sprawled across the floor, Playstation controller in one hand, empty bottle in the other. A few drops of liquid had gathered at the rim and spilled onto the carpet. Axel was nowhere to be seen, but from the sound of snoring that cut into his brain like a jagged knife, Roxas guessed he was at the foot of the sofa, out of sight.

Whimpering as pain shot through his head, Roxas clambered to his feet and staggered to the door. The bathroom was just outside Axel's bedroom, and he didn't bother turning on the light before falling to his knees in front of the toilet and evacuating the contents of his stomach into the bowl.

Feeling better as he pulled the chain, flushing his demons away, Roxas decided to brave the stairs. Somehow he made it down successfully, hanging onto the banister for support.

When he stepped outside, the blinding sunlight caused more flashes of pain in the region of his sinuses, but the deep breath of fresh air that filled his lungs was a definite improvement.

The journey home took twice as long as usual due to the feeling that his legs had turned to jelly. By the time he reached his own driveway, head pounding, Roxas vowed never to get drunk again.

"Ever." He said aloud for emphasis, inserting his key in the lock and turning it. When he pushed down the handle, the door opened to reveal two very angry parents glaring at him with their arms crossed.

Shit.


	6. The King Wants to See You

**A/N: **Oh noes, Roxas is in teh troublez! Fear not, for in this chapter we meet the **coolest guy in the universe**. I really, really loved writing his bit. I only planned to use him in this chapter, but now I want to write him a bigger part. We see more of Paine and Yuffie in this chapter. I'm becoming more and more fond of those girls. And I never liked Rikku or Yuna before, but they're growing on me too. You might have noticed that in the first chapter I kind of ignored them and focused on Paine. Now I'm bringing them to the foreground more often. In later chapters I'll even switch to their point of view for crucial moments. Enjoy this chapter, kind reviewers. That's **Vampiremist**, **BeautifulDementia**, **Haninozuka Mitsukuni,** **KHNeko **and **Wing-edd Wolf**. Your reviews make me a happy person indeed.

* * *

Letting go of the handle and mentally slapping himself, Roxas allowed the door to swing shut. What had possessed him to accept Axel's offer last night? Ever since he met the two older boys on his first day of school, he'd been avoiding them as much as possible. In school he couldn't get away from them, but they hadn't been expecting him to come over last night. He could easily have ignored the text, as he had done a few times before. 

Now his parents were standing at the other side of the hall, their faces serious. This was the first time Roxas had seen his mother angry since the accident, and part of him was satisfied to see her finally react to something he'd done. His father was the first to speak.

"Where have you been?"

A simple, straightforward question, one he was entirely entitled to ask. They'd probably been sick with worry last night, calling his friends to find out if they knew where he was. Demyx's number was on his pin board, alongside Yuna, Rikku and Paine's. Roxas wondered if the musician had worried when he'd heard that he hadn't returned home after leaving his house. Was the hollow feeling in his stomach guilt over the way he'd left Demyx sitting on the bed, or was it simply the result of too much alcohol?

"At a friend's house." He mumbled in reply to the question.

Which wasn't entirely true. A nuisance certainly, a mentor at best, but not a friend. Axel and Zexion had refrained from actually bullying him, but they'd come close.

"It's common courtesy to phone when you're staying the night at a friend's."

Oh dear. His mother was using the Polite Offended approach. She would lace her voice with sarcasm and try her best to make him feel guilty. In the past it had been effective, but this time it wouldn't work. After the indifference she'd treated him with in the past few months, Roxas felt that it was time she got a taste of her own medicine.

"Sorry." He said in a flat, hard voice, pushing past his parent to get to the stairs.

"Just where do you think you are going?"

His father was losing his cool, anger beginning to show through the cracks. Ignoring him, Roxas went to his room, grabbing a clean t-shirt and changing into it. There was a sink in the corner of his room, and he brushed his teeth quickly, to get rid of the foul taste in his mouth. He didn't remember snacking on a corpse, but that was what it tasted like – rotten, decaying flesh.

Emerging from his room to find his parents exactly where he left them, he pushed past them again to get back to where he'd started.

"Your father asked you a question."

His mother's patient voice was strained; Roxas could tell that she was itching to shout at him. Did she learn this from her anger management books? Close your eyes and count to ten… when you open them, your only conscious son will be halfway down the street.

"It's a school day. I'm going to school."

His hand was on the door handle, ready to escape from the suffocating rules imposed upon him. No dinner until you've done your homework, no more than one friend over at a time, no food upstairs, no loud music, in bed before ten. Do what we tell you to do, wear what we tell you to wear, speak how we tell you to speak, eat what we tell you to eat. Axel was right about one thing. Rules are like glass windows – just asking to be broken.

His freedom was in sight, but the next thing his dad said made him stop.

"Sora never let us down like this."

The door was nearly torn off its hinges as Roxas opened it angrily, shouting his final reply before slamming it in their faces and storming off down the street.

"I'm not Sora!"

* * *

It wasn't until he reached the school gates that Roxas noticed he had left his school bag at Axel's house. Cursing, he realised that the redhead wouldn't even be conscious until mid-morning, and definitely wouldn't be in school until tomorrow, at the very least. Maybe he had the right idea. The crisp September air and bright morning sunlight were combining forces to make Roxas feel like he'd been hung out to dry after a tumble in the washing machine. 

Roxas wasn't the only student out of class, despite the fact that he had arrived in school halfway through first lesson (damn, he was missing Physics. At least he wouldn't have to face Demyx just yet). A group of boys were throwing a frisbee around on the grass. He recognised one of them, a dark skinned, red haired year 13 boy called Wakka who insisted on wearing a short-sleeved t-shirt, shorts and sandals despite the bitter cold.

"Hey Roxas!" he called, "The King wants to see you!"

Wondering what he had done now, Roxas gave Wakka a thumbs-up and entered the main building, climbing the stairs to the headmaster's office. This was the first time he'd been here, and he didn't know what to expect.

Knocking on the door nervously, he heard a bark from within and a small, squeaky voice called "Come in!" He pushed open the door, noticing immediately the picture of a plump, middle-aged woman, smiling for the camera. Roxas assumed she was the headmaster's wife. She had obviously been beautiful in her youth, and her kind eyes made Roxas wish that his mother was like her.

"Simply gorgeous, isn't she? You must be Roxas."

Turning his attention to the man in the chair at the centre of the room, Roxas was surprised by how small the headmaster was. His ears stuck out of the sides of his mostly bald head and his front teeth protruded over his lips. A pair of large, round spectacles rested on his nose. His hands were clasped comfortably in his lap and he smiled sincerely, brilliant blue eyes twinkling merrily. The sign on his desk said **Michael King, BSc. Headmaster.**

"Yes sir. I, uh… heard you wanted to see me?"

"Don't look so worried, I just want to chat. Take a seat dear boy… you might have to shift some of those papers… that's the ticket. Don't mind him, he's the friendly sort."

A large, wet nose was placed in Roxas's lap, and a big, furry Labrador wuffed at him happily. Smiling at his new friend, Roxas patted the top of his head, between his ears, and was rewarded with a slobbery lick to the hand. In the corner of the room was a dog basket, covered in long golden hairs, and next to it was a water bowl with the name 'Pluto' painted on the side.

"Down boy!" Mr King commanded, pointing to the basket. Pluto wuffed once more and returned to his bed, turning around twice to make himself comfortable before plopping down with a contented sigh.

"Now then, Roxas. How are you settling in to Radiant Garden sixth form?" the small, bald man asked, turning his attention back to Roxas.

"I'm doing OK thanks, Mr King." Roxas replied politely.

"Call me Mickey, I can't be bothered with formalities." Mr King told him with a smile. His smile must have been contagious, because Roxas found the corners of his mouth turning up in response.

"Are you really doing OK, Roxas? As I understand it, Axel and Zexion have taken you under their wing."

Roxas nodded.

"The pair of them have been referred to as The Terrible Twosome. I'm concerned about their influence on you, Roxas. Your results in class don't match up with your predicted grades. Most of your teachers tell me that you seem distracted in their lessons."

The guilt that he should have felt this morning when faced with the anger of his parents started to wash over him now. Perhaps it was a delayed reaction, but Roxas thought that it was probably more than that. Everyone in the school respected Mr King, and Roxas was beginning to understand why. He seemed genuinely interested in the well being of his students, looking out for them and offering his help, when he could.

"I guess… I guess I haven't been trying as hard as I could." Roxas replied, fingers twisting themselves around each other.

"If there's something on your mind, I hope you feel that you can tell me." Mr King said seriously.

"Things haven't been so good at home recently." Roxas told him quietly. "But it's not just that."

Picking up a handwritten message on an A4 sheet of paper, Mr King surveyed him over the top of his glasses.

"It seems to me that the subject of most concern is mathematics. Am I right?"

Nodding, Roxas replied, "It's not exactly my strongest subject."

"If you don't mind my asking, why did you choose to do an A-level course in a subject you don't enjoy?"

"I didn't have much choice. My parents want… they want me to do well."

Sighing, Mr King put down the note and folded his hands on top of it. "Allow me to give you a piece of advice. Whether you take it to heart is entirely up to you, but I feel compelled to offer my wisdom in this instance."

Smiling at the headmaster's old-fashioned way of speaking, Roxas nodded and told him to go ahead.

"My family was not very rich, when I was growing up. My father saved up every last penny he had to send me to a good school. He was adamant that I was to become a teacher. When I told him that I wanted to be an actor, I almost gave the old boy a heart attack."

"An actor?"

Mr King waved a hand dismissively. "Youthful dreams, dear boy. Anyway, I obeyed my father's wishes and, 30 years later, here I am. I could be a Hollywood movie star by now, rolling in millions, my face in every magazine. Lord knows I have the rugged good looks and boyish charm."

Roxas had to put a hand over his mouth to suppress a giggle.

"Don't copy my mistake, Roxas. Your parents do not always know what's best."

"Yes, Mr King."

"Didn't I tell you to call me Mickey?" The bespectacled man winked, a twinkle in his eye.

* * *

Spirits considerably lifted, Roxas entered the code for the common room and found Yuna and Rikku deep in discussion, faces excited. 

"Pillow fights!" Rikku squealed when Roxas was close enough to hear what they were saying.

"We can play fluffy bunnies!" Yuna giggled.

"How on earth do you play fluffy bunnies?" Roxas wondered.

"Hey sleepy pants!" Rikku greeted, along with the usual hug. "Did you oversleep this morning?"

"Something like that." Roxas smiled, sitting down next to the girls.

"You put a marshmallow in your mouth, then say 'fluffy bunnies'." Yuna explained. "Then you keep adding mallows. It gets harder to say each time. The person who can fit the most in their mouth and still say it properly wins."

"Sounds… interesting."

"We're planning a sleepover at Yunie's house." Rikku told him. "You're invited. He _is_ invited, right?"

This last question was directed at Yuna. The brunette smiled, and nodded. "Of course he's invited."

"Yep, you're invited. I'm bringing my karaoke machine, so we can have a singing contest, and there's gonna be movies an' stuff!"

"Sounds fun. I'll be there." Roxas smiled.

"Paine's bringing someone." Yuna said softly. "Do you want to invite Demyx?"

Biting his lip, Roxas shrugged. "I don't know."

Roxas sunk into quiet thought as the two girls planned their activities. He couldn't avoid Demyx forever, and to do so would be slightly ridiculous. Demyx had initiated the kiss, but Roxas had definitely returned it. Ignoring his texts had been selfish and mean, and now he'd missed physics, Demyx would think he was deliberately avoiding him.

Next chance he got, he would talk to the musician. Inviting him to the sleepover wasn't on his agenda, though. Too many opportunities for… it just wouldn't be a good idea.

* * *

When she was lost in thought, Yuffie Kisaragi doodled in the margin. Mostly meaningless patterns, but sometimes a character in Japanese, or a cute little cartoon face. This was just one of the things that Paine had noticed since the Japanese girl had sat next to her in English today. 

The teacher was explaining the essay, writing a few key ideas on the board. Her straight black hair fell down her back in a long sweep until it reached the base of her spine. Today she wore a long black skirt, with a shirt of the same colour, the first couple of buttons left open, showing a white top underneath. Paine got the feeling that some of the boys were only in this class so that they could stare at Miss Lockheart's cleavage all day.

"I want this in by next Monday, two sides at least." She said, dismissing the class. After the inevitable clamour to get out of the classroom, Paine and Yuffie were the only students left. They took their time with putting their books away, in no rush to get anywhere.

"Are you doing anything Saturday night, Sunday morning?" Paine asked shyly.

"Nope!" Yuffie replied cheerily. "Why? You planning a bank robbery, need an accomplice?"

"Something like that. My best friend is having a sleepover. You know Yuna?" Yuffie nodded. "She said I could invite you. So… do you want to come?"

The Japanese girl pretended to consider the offer. "Will there be girly movies?"

"I'm afraid so."

"But you'll be there, right?"

"O-of course."

"Then I'll be there."


	7. World's Biggest Daisy Chain

**A/N: **My longest chapter so far (and it really isn't that long, by most peoples' standards. I need to work on putting more description into my fics). We have a slightly cranky Paine, some Roxas-Demyx fluff and two rather naughty dreams. I considered making the dreams explicit, but I want to save that for when the characters have sex for real. Next chapter is the sleepover. Keep the reviews coming.

* * *

The common room was unusually quiet, the only sound coming from the general region of the football table, which was always being played by someone or other. Even there, the usual shouting and swearing was reduced to the occasional curse as somebody let a goal in. Larxene (who was stood at one end of the table, watching the game out of boredom) and the two boys who were playing were the only people in the common room apart from Roxas and Paine. Everyone else either had first lesson or hadn't come in yet.

"…Something on your mind?"

Turning his head, Roxas saw that the goth had put down her book and was looking at him. He had been doing his maths homework, staring blankly at the same equation for twenty minutes now, but how she had noticed whilst absorbed in her book, he didn't know.

"Yeah."

Rolling her eyes, Paine muttered something that sounded like "_It's too early for this_" and asked patiently, "Feel like sharing?"

While unsure whether he did feel like sharing, Roxas knew that the best person to share his feelings with was Paine, and maybe telling her would make him feel better.

"Demyx kissed me." He replied quietly, giving her the short answer. To her credit, she didn't raise her eyebrows or stare at him, unsure how to respond, as he half expected her to. That was the precise reason why Roxas hadn't told Rikku, or even Yuna, who were sure to make it into a big deal.

"Did you kiss him back?"

A more complicated question than she realised. Roxas sighed. "No. And then yes. And then I ran away."

"That was stupid." Paine could be blunt when necessary. And sometimes when unnecessary. The goth became cranky when she didn't get enough sleep.

"I know." Roxas replied sarcastically.

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Talk to him." The blonde's reply was hesitant. It was all very well to say that he was going to talk to him, but when it came down to it, he wasn't sure if he was ready.

"What are you going to say?"

"Um… that I'm sorry I ran away. And I still want to be friends."

"Do you want to just be friends?"

"What d'you mean?" Roxas asked, frowning.

"You kissed him back."

The fact that she was right didn't make Roxas feel any better. He still hadn't considered his own feelings for the musician. When Demyx lifted his chin, resting his fingers on the soft skin underneath and gently tilting it upwards, Roxas had felt his heart race at the contact. When their lips touched, jolts of pleasure had spread throughout his body, making him want more. Was that a normal reaction?

"I don't want to lose his friendship…"

"The question you have to ask yourself is: Do you want him to be more than just a friend?"

"I know." Roxas murmured. All Paine had done was ask him the same questions he'd been asking himself, but somehow she'd helped him sort it out in his mind. Introspection was difficult for him, but she was right; he had to figure out his feelings before talking to Demyx.

Seeing that Paine was about to go back to her book, Roxas decided to change the subject. It wasn't often that he got to talk to her alone, and this conversation was going well so far.

"Yuna said you were bringing someone to the sleepover."

Blinking slowly, Paine nodded. "Someone from my English class."

"Do I know them?"

"I doubt it. She spends most of her free time in the library."

"Oh."

"What?"

"Its just…" The way Yuna had said it, Roxas had assumed that Paine was bringing a date. As in, not a girl.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"If you insist." Picking up the book, the goth flipped it open to her page, and resumed where she had left off.

After staring at the maths equation for a further five minutes, Roxas sighed and asked, "So who is it?"

"Who's what?" Paine replied, not looking up from the page, hoping that he'd get the hint.

"The girl you're bringing to the sleepover."

"Just a friend."

"I never suggested she was anything else." Roxas was unable to stop the smirk from spreading across his face.

"Yuffie Kisaragi. Moved here a few months ago from Japan. Satisfied?"

It looked like Paine wasn't in the mood to discuss her new friend. Roxas had never seen her this defensive before. Usually her silence was caused by a lack of a topic of conversation. Unlike Rikku, the goth wasn't inclined to chatter non-stop about things of no importance, but Roxas had never seen her flat out ignore someone before. Curiouser and curiouser.

Before Roxas could pry further, a giggling Rikku burst into the common room, followed shortly by a somewhat calmer Yuna. _Looks like someone's been drinking coffee again_, Roxas thought to himself.

"Whatcha doin'?" Rikku asked, throwing herself down beside Roxas and leaning over his shoulder.

"Maths."

"Boooooring."

"Yup." Roxas sighed, closing his textbook and shoving it into his backpack along with his exercise book. He was having to use an old school bag, as Zexion and Axel were nowhere to be seen, and he doubted whether they'd have brought his backpack in to school anyway. The girls' arrival signalled the end of first lesson, which meant the start of second.

"See you later." He said, grabbing the backpack by one strap and heading off to maths. Mr Vexen wasn't going to be happy that he hadn't finished the homework, but at least he'd tried, rather than just ignoring it entirely like he had been doing since he joined this school. His talk yesterday with Mr King had inspired him to at least try to work harder.

"We'll be outside, by the benches." Yuna informed him before he left the common room.

* * *

It hadn't been as bad as he'd feared, Roxas reflected as he crossed the grass, heading for the benches under the trees near the front entrance. Mr Vexen had been pleased that he'd attempted to answer the questions. The man wasn't as cold as Roxas had first thought, just a little chilly.

Rikku waved as soon as she saw him approach, despite the fact that Roxas had already spotted them. The three girls had pushed two benches together so that they were facing each other and were sitting in a row, Yuna in the middle, opposite the other two.

"We're making the world's biggest daisy chain." Rikku told him, holding out a long string of small white flowers. "Wanna help?"

"I've never made one." Roxas admitted as he sat facing the blonde on the über-bench. She showed him how to make a hole in the stem of the daisy on the end of the chain, then thread a new daisy through it. Yuna held the other end of the chain, a handful of daisies piled up on her lap, reminding Roxas of the pile of flowers in Sora's hospital room. For a few minutes, the girls added daisies to their chain, chatting about what movies they were going to watch at the sleepover on Saturday night.

Roxas still hadn't mentioned the sleepover to his parents. After his previous betrayal of their trust, he was sure they were going to forbid him from going. His current plan involved telling them just as he was leaving for Yuna's house, preventing them from worrying and at the same time not giving them a chance to stop him. He definitely wasn't going to tell them that there would be four girls at the sleepover. Ironic that it wasn't the girls that they should be worried about.

"Playing with girls again, Roxas?"

The blonde in question's heart sank as flame red hair came into view, Axel's smirking face underneath. Zexion was at the other end of the bench, his foot resting on the seat, near where Paine sat. The goth looked up at her brother and scowled.

"Don't you have something better to do?" She demanded.

"Your harsh words hurt me." Zexion frowned, pouting. "I only want to spend time with my favourite sister."

"Go fuck yourself."

It occurred to Roxas that this was the first time he'd heard the goth swear. Paine was full of surprises this morning.

"We just came to pick up our Roxas." Axel told her. "Come on." He started to walk away, motioning for Roxas to follow.

"I'm not _your_ Roxas." The blonde boy scowled.

"You hear that, Zex? He's trying to be all brave and shit."

A smile played across the silver haired boy's lips. "Cute."

"Stop fooling around." Axel said, eyebrows drawn together, suddenly serious. Roxas found himself suddenly nervous. The look in the redhead's eyes was dark and scary, and he actually considered going with them, before something caught his eye.

"Are you even paying attention to me?" Axel demanded, following his line of sight, eyes narrowing as he saw Demyx trying to sneak around him.

"Well, look who it isn't." He growled menacingly. Demyx looked at Roxas with pleading eyes as he backed away from Axel, only to find his escape cut off by a grinning Zexion. The silver haired boy pinned Demyx's arms behind his back, holding him still for Axel, who drew back his fist, ready to let loose in the musician's face.

"Axel." The redhead turned to see Roxas standing behind him, hands clenched into fists at his sides.

Zexion released the musician's arms; Axel lowered his fist and stepped back. Roxas and Axel faced each other, a silent exchange passing between them. The redhead may be a bully, but he wasn't mindlessly violent. Something about Demyx had angered him in the past, and he continued to hold that grudge, lashing out at the musician when his emotions were high. That didn't mean that he was willing to do the same to Roxas. Frowning, Axel stepped back, an unspoken acknowledgement that Roxas had won.

"You used to be cool." The redhead said, shaking his head sadly as the two older boys walked away. Roxas watched them leave, then realised that Demyx was staring at him nervously.

"Thanks." The musician said, biting his lip and looking toward the ground. Butterflies seemed to have nested in Roxas's stomach and decided to throw a party as he looked back towards the girls. Rikku, tactless as ever, waved cheerfully, Yuna smiled, tilting her head to one side out of curiosity and Paine nodded slightly, reminding him of the talk they had earlier.

"Come on." Roxas said, grabbing Demyx's hand and leading him towards a more private spot, under a tree by the drama block, which was at the other side of the field. The musician followed obediently, squeezing Roxas's hand without realising, causing shivers to travel up the younger boy's arm.

They sat down in the shade, Demyx picking single blades of grass and shredding them into tiny pieces, then starting again with a new blade. Roxas tilted his head, trying to see into the musician's eyes, to see what hidden emotion they contained. Of all the things he could think to say to the boy, only one seemed appropriate.

"Sorry."

Demyx looked up, blinking rapidly, as if to dispel unwanted tears.

"Shit. Demyx, I'm really sorry. Don't cry." Roxas said, concerned. He wanted to reach out and hug him, but that could send the wrong signals. He didn't even know what kind of signals he wanted to send.

"I know. I just thought." Demyx sniffed, "I thought you were gonna. You know."

"Nope." Roxas smiled weakly, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I thought you hated me."

"I can see where you'd get that impression."

Plucking another blade of grass out of the ground, Demyx twirled it around in his fingers. "I shouldn't have kissed you."

"I'm not so sure about that." Roxas replied softly.

"Really?" The musician looked up sharply, eyes questioning.

Roxas blushed, putting his hand to his head. "I didn't mean to say that out loud."

"Do you…" Demyx was staring at him, chewing on his lip, forehead wrinkled in thought. "Do you have feelings for me?"

As much as he felt inclined to deny it, Roxas wasn't so sure that he didn't have feelings for the blue eyed, pointy eared, dirty blonde musician. Tentative fingers reached out to cover his, pale and thin up against his leftover summer tan. Shivering at the touch, Roxas turned his hand over and allowed the musician to stroke it slowly with his slender digits.

"I don't know." He murmured, entranced by the circular movement of the thumb on his palm, which moved gently upward to stroke each of his fingers in turn, causing a faint tickling sensation that made his fingers twitch in response to the contact.

Demyx took Roxas's hand in his and brought it slowly up to meet his lips, kissing the knuckles before rubbing the soft skin of the back of Roxas's hand against his cheek.

The vague idea that he should probably stop this surfaced in the younger boy's mind, and he gently took back his hand, but not before running his thumb lightly over the musician's chin.

"I'm not ready for this." He said, wrapping his arms around his own legs and resting his chin on top of his knees. "You need to give me some time to think things through. OK?"

"'Kay." Demyx nodded as Roxas got to his feet and brushed the grass from the seat of his jeans, extending his hand to help the musician up.

"Demyx." Roxas said impulsively as the older boy started to walk away.

"Yeah?"

"Yuna's having a sleepover tomorrow night. I'd like it if you… do you want to come?"

Taking a deep breath and letting it out, Demyx thought for a moment. "Will there be girly movies?"

"I think so. Rikku's gonna be there, after all."

"OK then." The musician smiled, winking and walking away.

* * *

Tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position, Roxas found it hard to get to sleep that night. First he pushed the covers away, feeling suffocated, then, when the cold night air crept into his bedroom, he cocooned himself in the duvet, seeking warmth. Finally, he drifted into unconsciousness, eyelids heavy with sleep.

_He's sitting in a field of daisies, each one towering over him, twice his size. Wrapping his arms around the nearest one, he manages to uproot it, falling backwards as he pulls it out of the ground. Sitting in the dirt, legs crossed, he pulls the petals from the daisy's head._

"_I love him. I love him not. I love him. I love him not."_

_Eventually he is left with a single pure white petal, which flutters gently to the ground as he tugs at it, saying, "I love him."_

"_There you are." Demyx says from above him. Looking up, Roxas sees him standing atop the tallest daisy, his wings as black as night, catching the sunlight and shimmering like glitter. Hopping down from his perch, the pixy puts his arms around Roxas, breathing heavily into his neck._

"_The Fox is after me." He whispers into Roxas's ear, kissing the lobe softly and nuzzling the soft skin just behind the place where the ear meets the jaw._

"_What can I do to stop him?" Roxas asks, finding the pixy's hands with his own, interlocking their fingers and holding Demyx close._

"_You're the Wolf. Stand up to him."_

_Releasing Demyx's hands, Roxas turns and kisses him deeply, wrapping his arms around his neck and noticing the taste of blackberries on the older boy's lips._

"_I couldn't save Sora. What if I can't save you?" He breathes into the pixy's mouth. Giggling, Demyx pushes him backwards so that they both fall into the grass, kissing and fondling and moaning with pleasure.

* * *

_

Loud, throbbing heavy metal could be heard clearly across the hallway as Paine lay awake, one pillow held on top of her head in an attempt to block out the noise. It wasn't until early morning that her stupid brother turned off his stupid music and the goth was able to sleep.

_The salty smell of the sea and calming sound of the waves crashing together wash over her as she lies spread out on a rock, completely naked, breathing in the peace and tranquillity. If she were to open one eye, she would just about be able to see the shore in the distance._

_Dolphins play in the water below her, calling to each other with a series of clicks. Turning over onto her front, she watches them dive to the seabed and rush back up again, jumping up out of the water, twisting in midair and diving effortlessly back into the water without making so much as a splash._

"_Do you want to play?"_

_One dolphin has separated herself from the rest. Her nose sticks out of the water, half a metre away from Paine's face. The naked goth leans forward and kisses the sensitive pink spot right at the tip of the rubbery grey nose._

_Gasping in surprise, the dolphin begins to change shape, light brown legs emerging from the tail, fins turning into arms, long bottlenose shrinking into a familiar smiling face._

"_I didn't think you'd come." Paine whispers, reaching down to stroke Yuffie's cheek. Smiling up at Paine, Yuffie reaches out an arm, and the goth pulls her up onto the rock. She kisses the dolphin-girl again, this time on her human nose, making her giggle in a way that sounds just like the high picked clicking made by the dolphins._

"_Play with me." Yuffie insists, pulling Paine into her arms and kissing her again and again._


	8. Just a Sweet Transvestite

**A/N: **The sleepover was going to be one chapter, but I had to split it in two because of its length. The point of the sleepover is to build up relationships and get everyone together for the first time, but it also turned out to be the most fun chapter so far. There's plenty of humourous dialogue, and I had to pick meaningful songs for each of the characters, then choreograph their movements during the songs. I was originally going to have Yuffie sing the song that Yuna sings in this chapter, and Yuna was going to sing the song that Yuffie sings in chapter 9, but I switched them. Here's a clue: the song that Yuna was originally going to sing is significant if you've played Final Fantasy X2, but I decided that it fit the situation better if Yuffie was the one to sing it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did. Oh yeah, and **Disclaimer** - none of the songs belong to me. See the note at the end of the chapter if you want to know who owns them. I won't say here in case I ruin the surprise.

* * *

Rubbing her tired eyes, Paine managed to press the doorbell on the third attempt, trying to stay upright long enough for Yuna to let her in that she could throw herself onto the sofa. After waking up from her dream last night, she hadn't been able to get back to sleep. How was she going to face Yuffie tonight after dreaming about… 

"Morning. You look tired." Yuna's face was creased with concern as she let Paine into her front hallway.

"Need coffee." The goth lurched, Frankenstein's Monster style, into the kitchen, where Rikku was stirring a light brown mixture with a wooden spoon, her face smeared with chocolate.

"I'm making cake!" She chirped, waving the spoon cheerfully. Paine just stared at her, brain slowly processing what she had said. Something at the back of her mind told her that she should be terrified, but only her most basic systems were functioning at the moment, so she ignored it and voiced a more simple thought.

"I like cake."

An insistent hand tugged at the sleeve of her long sleeved, black and purple stripy t-shirt. "Sleep is what you need." Yuna said, leading her upstairs to her bedroom. Paine, to tired to argue, allowed the brunette to take off her boots and cover her with the duvet.

"I came to help you prepare for the party…" she murmured, closing her eyes. Yuna's Winnie the Pooh feather pillow was soft and inviting, and before she knew it, she was drifting off to sleep, cuddling up to a stuffed Simba toy that shared the bed with her.

Smiling with the satisfaction of having taken care of someone she loved, Yuna went back downstairs to make sure Rikku hadn't blown up the kitchen.

* * *

Checking his backpack to make sure he hadn't left anything, Roxas grabbed his coat and went downstairs. His parents were together in the living room. Good. This meant that he could just tell them where he was going and leave. 

"Going somewhere?" His father frowned as he noticed the backpack, shoes and coat.

"Sleepover. I won't be back until tomorrow lunchtime at least. My phone's turned on if you need me." Roxas turned and left the house before either parent could protest.

Half expecting his dad to come after him, he kept his pace fast as he crossed the street and turned down an alley. Letting out a deep breath that he hadn't even realised he'd been holding in, the knot in his stomach started to dissipate. That had been easier than he'd expected. Now he could look forward to the evening ahead. If he had remembered last night's dream, he would have been slightly more nervous about spending the night in the same room as Demyx.

* * *

It wasn't until three o clock that the goth awoke, taking Simba downstairs with her. Yuna and Rikku were in the middle of setting up the karaoke machine, but they looked up when the door opened. Exchanging glances, both girls giggled at her dishevelled appearance. 

"Can I have coffee now?" Paine asked, stifling a yawn.

"Would your friend like some?" Yuna asked, getting to her feet.

"Leave Simba alone. He's just misunderstood."

Still laughing, Rikku jumped up and hugged Paine. "You're so cute when you're sleepy." She giggled.

The doorbell rang and Rikku dashed off to answer it. "Bet it's Roxas!" she shouted as she flung open the door.

"Hi." Roxas smiled when he saw the hyperactive blonde.

"Yay! I was right!" she squealed, flinging her arms around the boy. "Come in, I've made cake and Paine's all adorable coz she hasn't had her coffee and I made cake!"

Finding himself being led into the living room, Roxas waved at Paine, who was slumped across one sofa, cuddling her new friend. The goth waved back sleepily.

"Here's your coffee." Yuna said, coming back into the room with a steaming hot mug and handing it to Paine. "Oh, hi Roxas. Let me take your bag."

Handing her his backpack, Roxas sat next to the goth, patting Simba's head affectionately. Paine was sipping at her coffee impatiently, waiting for it to cool down enough to be drinkable.

With Roxas's help, Rikku finished setting up the karaoke machine. "What music did you bring?" Roxas asked.

"Lots of fun stuff. Disney Classics, the soundtrack to Grease, hits from the '80s, that kinda thing. Paine said she was gonna bring a couple of CDs…"

The goth finished enjoying her coffee and fished around in her bag for her music. "I've got the soundtracks to Nightmare Before Christmas and Rocky Horror, plus a couple of albums." She said, holding up the CDs. "And Yuffie's gonna bring some happy J-Pop crap." She made a face as she said this last bit.

"Everyone's gotta sing. It's the law." Rikku added. Every time she spoke, her eyes got wider and wider, and Roxas was scared that her head would explode with excitement.

The doorbell rang again and the blonde girl jumped up and rushed off again. Paine and Roxas exchanged a glance and both looked away, biting their lips to suppress their laughter. Thanks to the caffeine, the goth was back to her usual stoic self.

They could hear the blonde's excited greeting from the hallway, and a shy answering "Hi." Rikku came back into the living room with a cute Asian in tow.

"Is this your Yuffie?" she asked. "I found her on the street."

"Oh, so that's where I left her." Paine replied as she stood up and took Yuffie's bag, offering her the sofa. The Japanese girl sat down next to Roxas, who stared at her in interest.

"I'm Rikku." The blonde said, sitting cross-legged on the floor and staring up at the newcomer. "That's Roxas. Paine said you brought music."

"Yeah. It's in my bag. Um…" Switching her gaze between the two blondes who were staring at her intently, Yuffie raised her eyebrow and smiled. "I'm not gonna explode or anything…"

"Damn." Rikku pouted. "We were promised explosions."

"Sorry." Roxas apologised for staring, "It's just that Paine hasn't said much about you."

"Yeah, it's weird, every time we ask her about you, she goes all quiet. Well, more quieter than normal."

"Really?" Yuffie looked thoughtful as Paine came back into the room, bringing Yuna with her.

"_More quieterer_?" Roxas whispered teasingly. Rikku stuck her tongue out at him.

"Is this everyone?" the brunette asked, staring at Yuffie like the others had been doing a second ago.

"Demyx isn't here yet…" Roxas blushed as the three girls nodded knowingly.

"Demyx who's in my art class?" Yuffie guessed.

"That's him. He's Roxas's boyf-" Rikku was silenced with a look from Paine.

The awkward silence that followed was interrupted by the doorbell. "I'll get it!" Rikku said, scrambling up and running out to the hallway for the third time.

"Is she always this-" Yuffie began.

"Yep." All three of the others replied at once.

Pizza appeared from the oven as if by magic and was distributed around the six of them. They sat in a circle, stuffing their faces and deciding what songs they were going to sing.

"I like Hakuna Matata." Rikku said, brows furrowed with the intensity of her thought. "Or Supercalifriggindelicious… no, I can't even say it. Um…"

Demyx was reading the back of one of Paine's CDs. "Hmm… I like this song…"

"Are all of these in Japanese?" Yuna asked Yuffie, looking over the music she'd brought along.

"A couple of Hikaru's are in English."

"Oh yeah, I've heard this one. Does it have the lyrics?"

Yuffie nodded, opening up the CD case and showing her the booklet inside.

"…I've got no strings to keep me down, to make me smile, to make me frown… dum dum dum, da dum dum dum… no, I need one I know the words to…"

"Have you considered not singing a Disney song?" Roxas asked the blonde, who was chewing on the end of one of her pigtails.

"Well, what are you gonna sing?" She asked.

"That's a secret." He replied, blushing slightly.

"So you've decided already?"

"Um, yeah."

"Help me then!"

"Are you done with that CD?" Paine asked.

"Yeah. Are you gonna do a Disney song?" Rikku asked incredulously, passing it over.

"Walt Disney was a lot more evil than most people give him credit for." The goth told her, studying the list of songs on CD case until she found the one she was looking for. "Awesome."

"Is everyone done with their pizza?" Yuna asked, starting to gather plates. "We can start now if you've all chosen a song."

Demyx leaned over and whispered in Paine's ear. The goth smiled, nodded and stood up, brushing crumbs off her lap. The two of them left the room and could be heard going upstairs.

"What was that about?" Yuffie wondered.

"We'll find out in a minute, I'm sure." Rikku said, waving dismissively. "Come on Roxie, I still don't have a song!" Her leg started to jiggle impatiently.

"Here. This one's perfect for you." Roxas said, pointing to a song on one of Paine's CDs.

* * *

"So what song did you pick?" Demyx called out from the bathroom. 

"You'll find out." Paine told him, buttoning Demyx's checked down to just under her chest, leaving the last few undone. She already had on his baggy jeans, which were a size too big and she had to transfer the belt from the leather jeans she'd been wearing.

"You done?" she asked, ruffling her hair to make it stand on end.

"Yeah." The amusement was audible in Demyx's voice.

"Wait a sec." The goth remembered the knee high lace up boots she'd left in Yuna's bedroom and fetched them, handing them to Demyx through the bathroom door.

"Excellent." The musician giggled.

"What are you guys doing up there?" Rikku shouted up the stairs. "We're all waiting down here!"

"I'd better go down." Paine told Demyx, pulling up the collar of the shirt and smiling at her reflection in the wall mirror.

When the goth entered the living room, Rikku burst into laughter, clapping her hands together. Yuna stifled a giggle, exchanging glances with Roxas, who was grinning widely. Winking at Yuffie, Paine twirled, arms outspread.

"What do you think?"

A slow grin spread over the Asian girl's face and she wolf-whistled, causing the goth's cheeks to flush with colour.

"Only you could pull it off." Yuna smiled.

"Speaking of which, what's Demyx wearing?" Roxas asked. When Paine raised her eyebrow, he blushed for the third time in as many minutes. "You know what I mean." He mumbled.

"Start the music!" Demyx shouted from the top of the stairs. Peering around the door, Paine nodded her approval.

"Most excellent." She said, taking a CD from its case and putting it into Rikku's karaoke machine, selecting a track and pressing Play.

Rocky guitar music started to play as Demyx descended the stairs, strutting into the room with confidence. Paine handed him the mic and he struck a pose, left hand on his hip, head tilted to the right, joining in with the song as Tim Curry started to sing.

"How d'you do, I see you've met my faithful handyman  
He's just a little brought down because when you knocked  
He thought you were the candy man."

By now Rikku had collapsed into a fit of giggles, holding onto Yuna's hand for dear life. The brunette's other hand covered her mouth in an attempt to stop the laughter from escaping.

Roxas could only stare at Demyx in amazement as the older boy strutted towards him in Paine's long black boots with red and purple laces, tight leather jeans and stripy top that fell down past his shoulders.

"Don't get strung out by the way that I look,  
Don't judge a book by its cover  
I'm not much of a man by the light of day,  
But by night I'm one hell of a lover"

Winking at Roxas, Demyx turned and addressed the room with his next line:

"I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania."

Next, the musician turned to Paine and Yuffie, who were grinning at him in amusement.

"So let me show you around, maybe play you a sound  
You look like you're both pretty groovy.  
Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal  
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie."

Remembering her cue, Paine spoke the next four lines along with Barry Bostwick:

"I'm glad we caught you at home, could we use your phone?  
We're both in a bit of a hurry.  
We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car.  
We don't want to be any worry."

Cocking his head in thanks, Demyx twirled into the middle of the room, twirling a strand of hair around his finger flirtatiously.

"So you got caught with a flat, well, how about that?  
Well babies, don't you panic.  
By the light of the night it'll all seem alright.  
I'll get you a satanic mechanic."

Moving back towards Roxas as he sung the chorus, the musician sat on the arm of the sofa, crossing his legs across the blonde boy's lap.

"So why don't you stay for the night? Or maybe a bite?  
I could show you my favourite obsession."

Leaning in close, Demyx ran the index finger of his free hand along Roxas's bare arm, causing all of the hairs to stand on end.

"I've been making a man with blond hair and a tan  
And he's good for relieving my tension."

On the last word of this verse, the older boy winked at Roxas and swung his legs around, standing and walking a couple of steps backwards to the middle of the room. Running a hand across his neck and down his chest, he sang the chorus for the last time.

"I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.

Just a Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania."

Staring directly at Roxas, he fluttered his lashes and ran his tongue across his bottom lip before speaking the last verse.

"Come up to the lab. And see what's on the slab.  
I see you shiver with anticipation!  
But maybe the rain isn't really to blame,  
So I'll remove the cause… but not the symptom."

Realising that his mouth was dry, Roxas swallowed, eyes fixed on Demyx as everyone else clapped and cheered enthusiastically. His heart rate had doubled, and he could hear himself breathing. For fuck's sake, he was practically drooling over the boy. The gorgeous, fabulously dressed, undeniably sexy boy who was taking a bow, waving his hands with a flourish. Hands clapping of their own accord, Roxas suddenly remembered his dream from last night and wondered how this night was going to end.

Putting down the mic, Demyx sat down at Roxas's feet, spreading his legs out across the floor and leaning backwards so that he rested on his elbows. "Who's next?" he asked, grin still plastered across his face from his performance. Hell, that had been fun.

"Yunie's the best singer in the world!" Rikku said, nudging her friend's foot with her own. "Go on, show them."

Smiling bashfully, Yuna stood up and put one of Yuffie's CDs in the machine, returning the Rocky Horror soundtrack to its case. Planting her feet a shoulder width apart and taking hold of the mic, she pressed play and immediately began to sing.

"When you walk away,  
You don't hear me say,

Please, oh baby, don't go.  
Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight.  
It's hard to let it go."

Her voice was rich and gentle, hitting each note perfectly. This slow, emotional song was well suited to her strong feminine voice, and she closed her eyes as she started the first verse, letting the music flow through her.

"You're giving me too many things lately.

You're all I need.  
You smiled at me and said,  
Don't get me wrong I love you  
But does that mean I have to meet your father?  
When we are older you'll understand  
What I meant when I said no,  
I don't think life is quite that simple."

It was clear to Roxas that she really meant what she was singing, at least for as long as the song lasted. Yuna poured her whole being into her voice, forgetting about the five others who were watching her, open-mouthed, only aware of herself and the music.

"The daily things that keep us all busy  
All confusing me that's when you came to me and said,  
Wish I could prove I love you  
But does that mean I have to walk on water?  
When we are older you'll understand  
It's enough when I say so,  
And maybe some things are that simple."

Briefly opening her eyes, Yuna looked around, checking everyone's expression and blushing when she realised that they were watching her intently. Closing her eyes once again, she re-immersed herself in her musical cocoon, finding her way back into the song.

"Hold me.  
Whatever lies beyond this morning  
Is a little later on.  
Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all  
Nothing's like before."

The song went through a couple more choruses and ended in a frenzy of cheering, Rikku jumping up and hugging her friend.

"Told ya she's the best singer in the world!" She giggled, pulling Yuna back to the sofa and taking the mic.

"My turn now." She grinned, searching for the CD labelled "Betty Curse" that Paine had brought along. Before she pressed play, she pulled the bands out of her hair, shaking free her pigtails.

"Been tryin'a get to heaven"

She sang, curling her lip in an approximation of a punk pop princess,

"Since she was eleven.  
The girl with yellow hair said she never really wanted to go to school,  
go to school.  
The girl with yellow hair said she never really wanted to go to school,  
go to school  
break the rules."

Looking over at Paine, Roxas saw the goth playing idly with a strand of Yuffie's hair as she smiled at Rikku's performance. All traces of the childish girly-girl were gone, and in their place was a rebellious teenage rock chick.

"She's the one who can save my soul, or she can destroy it.  
She's the girl who can help the world… but she just ignores it."

Being Rikku, the girl with yellow hair couldn't stay still for long. As the guitar solo kicked in, she started to dance around the room, playing air guitar and throwing her arm up in the air, index finger and little finger sticking up to look like horns.

"Been tryin'a get to heaven  
Tryin'a get to heaven  
Since she was eleven  
Since she was eleven  
Been tryin'a get to heaven  
Tryin'a get to heaven  
Since she was eleven  
Since she was eleven."

Finally tiring, Rikku flopped down onto the floor, holding the mic in front of her face, singing the last line breathlessly:

"The girl with yellow hair always said she never really wanted to

Get out of bed and get dressed to go to school."

"Yeah!" Roxas shouted, clapping along with the others as Rikku crawled back to her sofa and flopped across it, feet in Yuna's lap, panting heavily. The brunette wrinkled her nose at the prospect of having to deal with the blonde's sweaty socks.

"Do you guys think we should take a break before the rest of the songs?" She asked.

"Yeah." Rikku gasped, her breathing returning to normal. "Let's play a game, then the others can have their chance to sing."

"OK." Yuna agreed. "What do you want to play?"

"What about the game where one person draws a head, the next draws the body and the last person draws the legs?" Yuffie suggested. "You fold the piece of paper each time so that none of you can see what the others have drawn, and when you unfold it you end up with a monster."

"We can get into teams!" Rikku said, her excitement returning.

Yuna fetched paper and pencils and they got into teams, Rikku, Yuffie and Paine on one team, Roxas, Yuna and Demyx on the other. Rikku insisted on naming her team the Punk Goth Manga Chicks, so the other team decided they'd be the Rockin' Trio.

"Our name's better than yours!" Rikku teased, sticking her tongue out at the Trio as she drew the head of their monster, left arm curled around the paper so that her team mates couldn't see what she was drawing.

Demyx drew the head for his team, folding the paper over and passing it on to Roxas, who drew the body, giving it plenty of tentacles and colouring it green. Yuna quickly added a couple of legs.

"Ready?" she asked.

"Yep." Paine replied, adding the finishing touches to her team's legs.

Yuna unfolded her piece of paper, giggling at the absurdity of their monster. Its head was huge and fishlike, incredibly detailed and well drawn, reminding Roxas of the Gyarados sticker on Demyx's guitar case. This, stuck on top of a bulbous, green, tentacled body and slender, horse-like legs, looked simply ridiculous.

The Punk Goth Manga Chicks' creation was similarly bizarre. Rikku had given it a round, teddy bear head with furry ears, which looked quite good on top of Yuffie's feathery, winged torso, but the spindly, Burton-esque spider legs that Paine had added gave the whole picture a creepy, sinister look.

"Cool." Yuffie said, looking at the monster with a satisfied smile and signing her name next to the torso.

"Lets all sign our names, and I'll scan them in and print them out so we can all have a copy." Yuna suggested.

"We have to give them names." Demyx said, signing the head of the Rockin' Trio's monster.

"How about the Tentacular Fishtaur?" Roxas suggested, scrawling his signature next to the Fishtaur's tentacular torso. Yuna was unable to stop herself from letting out a peal of high-pitched laughter.

"We should definitely call it that." She giggled, adding her signature beneath the Fishtaur's legs. Demyx nodded his bemused agreement.

"What about ours?" Rikku said, frowning to aid her thought process.

"The Nightmare Bear of Halloween Town." Paine said, taking the drawing from Yuffie and signing it. "At night, it emerges from its lair and eats innocent children as they slumber in their beds, taking their teddy bears as its slaves and flying them back to its cave in the mountains before dawn."

"That's horrible." Rikku pouted, covering Simba's ears. "Don't worry little lion cub, I'll protect you from the nasty monster."

"Are we ready for more singing?" Yuna asked, gathering the pictures and putting them on the computer desk for later.

"Yeah, I wanna hear Paine sing next." Yuffie said, smiling at the goth, who found herself smiling back.

* * *

**A/N: **Ok, so "Sweet Transvestite" is from The Rocky Horror Show and is probably owned by Tim Curry. "Simple and Clean" is from Kingdom Hearts, as you should jolly well know, and it's sung by a very sexy Japanese girl called Utada Hikaru. "Girl With Yellow Hair" is sung by Betty Curse, as mentioned in the chapter. She's pretty sexy too, actually. 


	9. Who Told Her About Sex?

**A/N: **Here's the second half of the sleepover. As far as I know, there isn't a version of the song Paine sings that exactly matches this one. I used a little creative liscence to modify it to match her voice and personality. The words are exactly the same, though. There's a little angst in this chapter, but also some wonderfly fluffy fluff. And Simba is a bad influence on Rikku. Enjoy.

* * *

Yuna's living room contained two comfy green sofas and an old armchair in the corner that her parents were planning to throw out. Everyone assembled on the sofas as Paine dragged the armchair to the centre of the room, sitting on it with one leg crossed over the other as she picked up the mic, holding it loosely in one hand. 

"You'd better not throw things." She joked, pressing play. Jazz music began to play from the speakers.

"Cruella De Vil, Cruella De Vil  
If she doesn't scare you,

No evil thing will.  
To see her is to take a sudden chill.  
Cruella, Cruella"

The goth's low, silky voice harmonised with the saxophones in this slower, jazzier version of the Disney song. A thrill of excitement ran up Yuffie's spine as the tempo increased for the song's chorus and Paine sang louder, singing directly into the mic.

"At first you think Cruella is a devil  
But after time has worn away the shock,  
You come to realize

You've seen her kind of eyes,  
Watching you from underneath a rock."

Switching over her legs in one fluid movement, Paine leaned forward and swept her gaze around the room, staring at each of her friends with creepy, wide eyes.

"This vampire bat, this inhuman beast,  
She ought to be locked up  
And never released.  
The world was such a wholesome place until"

Leaning back, the goth finished this verse in a quieter, softer voice.

"Cruella, Cruella De Vil."

As the instrumental solo played, Yuffie realised that Paine was watching her, smiling softly. For two more verses, the goth's eyes never left hers, and Yuffie felt a transferral of energy that was hard to explain. It didn't matter that the song was about a cruel, puppy-killing villain - the emotion that built up when you sang in front of audience was being directed her way. The Japanese girl felt the emotion wash over her like a wave as Paine stood up for the final verse, gesturing dramatically.

"The curl in her lips, the ice in her stare,  
You innocent children had better beware.  
She's like a spider waiting for the kill!"

All of the emotion was poured into the last line, which, like the final line of all good jazz songs, was shouted at full volume, the last syllable drawn out until the singer ran out of breath.

"Look out for Cruella de Vil!"

Collapsing into the armchair, Paine took a couple of deep breaths until her head stopped spinning.

"Remind me not to do that again." She panted, joining Rikku and Yuffie on one of the sofas. Leaning in close to the goth's ear, Yuffie whispered,

"That was so sexy."

Hoping no one could see her blushing, Paine smiled shyly at the Japanese girl, allowing her to take her hand and clasp it together with her own. Thankfully, the others seemed oblivious to this as they encouraged Roxas to take his turn at the mic.

"OK, um, this song is dedicated to someone." He said hesitantly. "We used to be friends, but now she's… I never get to see her any more. We used to joke that this was her song. So… this is for Namine."

A familiar guitar riff started to play. Recognising it immediately, Rikku started dancing in her seat. Smiling nervously, Roxas waited for the first verse to start. He could feel everyone's eyes watching him as he started to sing.

"She's got a smile that it seems to me  
Reminds me of childhood memories,  
Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky.  
Now and then when I see her face  
She takes me away to that special place,  
And if I'd stare too long, I'd probably break down and cry."

Fighting back the lump that rose up in his throat, Roxas focused on the song. Memories were surfacing, from before the accident. Playing with Namine in his front garden when they were six, chasing Kairi with water pistols, Sora as their ally.

"Oh, Sweet child o' mine.  
Oh, Sweet love of mine."

A few years later, when they had grown up a little, playing Pokemon Stadium on the N64 at Roxas's house, Namine winning all of the mini-games, Roxas winning all of the Pokemon battles. Riku and Sora would come in from playing football in the park, covered in mud, and the four of them would play Super Smash Bros on four-player multiplayer mode.

"She's got eyes of the bluest skies  
As if they thought of rain.  
I hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain.  
Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place,  
Where as a child I'd hide

And pray for the thunder and the rain to quietly pass me by."

When they were twelve, Roxas asked Namine to be his valentine. The blue eyed girl had giggled and told him that he was more like a brother to her. When Kairi and Sora started dating, the two younger kids had smiled at each other and known that their relationship was better, because they didn't have to kiss to know that they loved each other.

"Where do we go?  
Where do we go now?  
Where do we go?  
Sweet child o' mine."

Lying in hospital after the accident, he had stayed by her bedside, holding her hand, vowing never to leave her side until she woke up. If only she had never woken up, she would have remained in his heart, a loving memory.

An absurdly long guitar solo signalled the end of the song and Rikku joined Roxas in the middle of the room, grabbing his hand and dancing a wild, Rikku Dance. Laughing out loud, Roxas copied her crazy, arm flinging dance moves, pushing the past to the back of his mind so that he could enjoy the present.

Stepping back, he finished the song with a long, drawn-out, "Oh" followed by a final "Sweet child o' mine" and an additional "Yeah."

"Yay!" Rikku squeaked, striking a pose. "Oops, sorry, did I ruin your song?"

"No." Roxas smiled, hugging her briefly before taking his seat next to Demyx, "You made it much better."

"Oh. Cool!" Rikku shrugged, grabbing Yuffie's hand and pulling her out into the centre of the room. "Your turn!"

"She's overexcited." Paine murmured to Yuna.

The brunette nodded, sighing heavily. "Come and sit down, Rikku."

As Yuna and Paine tried to calm the blonde down, Yuffie found the album she was looking for and put it in the karaoke machine. All eyes turned to her, wondering what she was going to sing.

"I told you, I'm not going to explode." The Japanese girl joked before taking hold of the mic and pressing play.

"What can I do for you?"

As she sang, her face lit up with a playful grin, a cute little dimple appearing in one cheek.

"What can I do for you?

What can I do for you?

What can I do for you?

I can hear you"

Moving her body in time to the beat, Yuffie started something similar to a dance routine, the look on her face showing that she was enjoying herself immensely.

"Far beyond the hazy borders of my heart

I could see a place that's something like this.

Every now and then I don't know what to do

Still I know that I can never go back."

Yuffie's voice may not be perfect, but the sheer enjoyment she expressed was infectious. Paine had never liked upbeat music like this, but she thought that she could probably tolerate it the way Yuffie sang it. Their eyes met and the Japanese girl winked, twitching her nose in the most adorable manner. For the next verse and chorus, Yuffie's eyes never left her.

"I don't plan on looking back on my old life

I don't ever plan to rely on you

Even if by chance everything should go wrong

You'd come anyway and try to save me."

Paine blinked and looked away. Was Yuffie singing to her? She must be imagining things. Forcing herself to look back, she saw that the Japanese girl's gaze was still fixed on her.

"And though I know the world of real emotion has surrounded me

I won't give in to it

Now I know that forward is the only way my heart can go

I hear your voice calling out to me:

'You'll never be alone'"

Finishing her routine with a classic action pose, feet wide apart, one hand on her hip, Yuffie pointed at Paine with her other hand while she sang the last line.

"I can hear you."

Breaking her gaze to take a bow, Yuffie grinned from ear to ear at the applause she received. "Thanks." She said, bowing once more and returning to her seat next to Paine. As if it was the most natural thing in the world, she picked up the goth's hand, threaded her fingers through it and put it in her lap.

"Did you like my song?" She asked, stroking the long, pale fingers.

"Um. Yeah." Paine replied. "You're stroking my hand."

"I know."

"Why are you stroking my hand?"

Yuffie shrugged. "Probably euphoria or something. You want me to stop?"

"Um. No. But-"

"I can stroke other places if you'd prefer it."

Did she just… did Yuffie just come on to her?

"What? But…" Paine gave up. "Maybe later." She muttered, responding to Yuffie's touch by running her thumb along the other girl's index finger.

"I'll consider that a promise." Yuffie winked, squeezing the goth's hand gently and giving it back to her before anyone noticed that they had been holding hands.

* * *

"If I have to watch that asinine piece of crap one more time, my brain will leap from my cranium and suffocate you in the name of the greater good!" 

"You don't have to be so mean! I don't see you making any suggestions and besides, what's so bad about it, I like American Pie, it's a funny movie, you're just a meanie, and you have no taste in films, and your eyes are kinda funny, and who eats peanut butter anyway, that's just weird, and you're mean and horrible and no one likes you, you movie hater, mean mean mean, and horrible, and, and…"

Rolling his eyes towards Demyx, Roxas gave the musician a look of despair, which was returned with equal conviction. Yuna was trying to come between Paine and Rikku, who were glaring at each other, the blonde turning slightly purple as she ran out of breath.

Gasping for air, she narrowed her eyes at the goth and said, "Now look what you did! Are you tryin'a kill me or something?"

Sighing, Paine stepped away, knowing that there was no arguing with Rikku when she was in this state. She was wound up and tired and coming down from her usual sugar high. Logic had no place here.

"Does she get like this a lot?" Demyx asked quietly, so as not to incur the fierce blonde's wrath.

"Yeah." Paine sighed. "She has a disorder that makes her hyperactive during the day, then she just breaks down like this."

"That sucks." The musician replied softly.

"Yeah." Yuffie agreed, resting her head against Paine's shoulder. Rikku had burst into tears and was being cuddled by a sympathetic Yuna. Paine gently tossed the stuffed lion in their direction. It bounced off Yuna's head and she picked it up and offered it to the blonde, who was sniffing loudly.

"Sorry." Rikku said, cuddling Simba with one hand and wiping her eyes with the other.

"It's OK. I'm a meanie." Paine reassured her, eliciting a small smile. "We don't have to watch American Pie though, do we?"

"I brought Eragon." Yuffie offered helpfully. "If that's… OK…" Everyone apart from Rikku had turned to her like drowning people who'd just been thrown a lifeline. "What is it with you people and staring?"

"Eragon has dragons, right?" Rikku said slowly from her position on the floor.

"One dragon. And it's really cute when it's a baby." Yuffie replied.

"I like dragons."

"Eragon it is then." Yuna smiled, taking the movie from Yuffie and beginning the long and arduous search for the remote. Eventually, after everyone's help had been enlisted, Roxas found it under one of the sofas, and they all settled down to watch the movie.

* * *

Shifting her position slightly, Paine winced as the feeling came back to her left leg. Yuffie lifted her head from the goth's stomach. "Are you uncomfortable?" she whispered. 

"My legs are falling asleep." Paine whispered back, uncurling her legs from around the Japanese girl.

"Why don't you lean on me for a while?" Yuffie offered, sitting up and putting an arm around the goth's shoulder as Paine leaned against her, sighing heavily.

On the TV screen, Eragon and Murtagh fought a Shade with telekinetic capabilities, but Paine found it hard to concentrate on the movie due to the hand that had found its way inside Demyx's shirt, which she was still wearing, fingers brushing lightly against her stomach.

"What are you-?"

"We're not going to have this conversation again, are we?" Yuffie sighed impatiently, running her fingers along the bare skin just above the belt, hearing a sharp intake of breath from the goth. As Paine turned to face her, Yuffie leaned in close enough that their noses brushed together and whispered, "Remember your promise?"

Growling softly, Paine leaned forward and kissed Yuffie's bottom lip, sucking at it gently. "Don't tempt me." She murmured softly, eyes half closed. Grinning evilly, the smaller girl pushed her onto her back and kissed her jaw, just to the right of her lips.

"But it's so fun." She whispered, kissing the Paine's neck, then her nose, then finally her mouth, feeling the goth's lips respond to her touch.

Paine grabbed hold of Yuffie's shoulders and pushed her back up to a sitting position, encircling the other girl's waist with her arms and slipping her tongue inside her mouth. Their tongues battled for a moment, discovering each other for the first time, before the goth pulled back, smiling when Yuffie pouted, wanting more.

"More kissing." The Japanese girl insisted, running a hand down Paine's thigh.

"Movie now. Kissing later." Paine whispered, running a hand through the soft, short black hair in response.

"Cuddling?"

The goth sighed. "Yes. But no groping."

"I like groping."

"I had noticed that." Paine smiled, pressing her forehead against Yuffie's.

"Is it that obvious?"

"It is when your hand's inside my top."

"Sorry." Yuffie sighed, removing the offending body part.

"Are you two gonna have sex?" Rikku asked from the floor, "Coz me and Simba are trying to watch the film."

"Who told her about sex?" Yuna called out. "Roxas, was it you?"

"It wasn't me. Maybe it was Simba."

"Ew!" Rikku squealed, nudging Roxas with her foot, which was the only part of her that would reach him.

"Who's having sex?" Demyx asked, lifting his head from the pillow he'd put on the arm of the other sofa.

"Paine and Yuffie." Roxas told him.

"Oh. Girls." The musician said, losing interest.

"We get the point." Paine scowled, letting go of Yuffie and moving over to her half of the sofa. A few minutes later they were cuddled up again, Paine playing with a strand of Yuffie's hair, Yuffie slowly stroking the goth's knee.

* * *

By the time the movie finished, everyone was asleep or on their way. Yuffie and Paine were still curled up together on the sofa, fast asleep, so Yuna fetched a blanket and covered them with it, smiling to herself. Roxas and Demyx let Rikku have the other sofa, and Yuna brought out two airbeds – one single, one double – and three sleeping bags. 

"You two can share this one, and I'll have the single." She whispered, plugging in the automatic air pump and using it to inflate the beds.

By the time Demyx and Roxas had got into the sleeping bags and were lying side by side on the airbed, Rikku was already snoring away like an elephant with a blocked nose. Yuna, who'd had previous sleepover experience with the noisy blonde, found it relatively easy to drift off to sleep, but when the morning light started to shine through the closed curtains, the two boys were still awake.

"Hey Roxas."

"Mmm."

"You awake?"

"No, I'm talking in my sleep."

"Dreaming about me?"

Roxas frowned and rolled onto his side so that he was facing the musician. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Demyx followed suit, leaning his head on one hand as he lay on his side, facing Roxas. "I wasn't _supposed_ to mean anything. Didn't hit a nerve, did I? When were you dreaming about me?"

"Lets not talk about this."

Shrugging is hard to do when you're lying on your side, but somehow Demyx managed. "What d'ya wanna talk about then?"

Seeing that he wasn't going to get any sleep tonight, Roxas sighed and stifled a yawn. "Tell me what happened with you and Axel and Zexion."

Demyx frowned. "They're a pair of wankers. I decided I was better off without them."

"That's not all of it, though, is it? Why do they pick on you so much?"

"They started picking on me when we were still friends. I use the term 'friends' lightly here. When I decided I'd had enough, their teasing turned into something more serious."

"They just started picking on you? Just like that?"

Rolling his eyes, Demyx turned back to his original position, so that he was facing the ceiling, arms crossed behind his head. "I'm assuming you know I'm a fag. Right?"

"It's pretty obvious. You were hitting on me, you know."

"Shut up, smartarse. Anyway, do those two look like the tolerant type to you?"

"That's it? They started teasing you when they found out you're gay?"

"Yeah. That and the cross dressing."

"So that's not just a one time thing?"

"Paine has nice clothes. I might have to steal her trousers."

"They looked good on you."

Demyx turned his head. "Are you flirting with me?"

Realising that he was playing with the zipper on Demyx's sleeping bag, Roxas withdrew his hand. "No."

They lay there in silence for a few minutes; Roxas thinking about something the musician had said a couple of days ago.

"Is that why you tried to kill yourself?"

"Fuck. When I asked what you wanted to talk about, I thought you'd pick a lighter subject."

"Demyx. You want us to… be more than friends, right?"

"Yeah. Wanna make out?"

"Demyx! I'm serious. If you keep hiding things from me, we can never. You know."

"You're cute when you're flustered."

"Stop avoiding the subject."

"Sorry." Demyx closed his eyes, dropping his smile and suddenly becoming serious. "What Axel and Zexion did made me really depressed, yeah. That and the fact that I was scared to come out to my parents. But I wasn't suicidal until my uncle raped me."

Roxas said nothing.

"You still awake?" Demyx asked.

"Yeah." The younger boy replied softly.

"Trying to figure out if I'm serious or not?"

"No. I believe you. But…"

"Having second thought about fucking me?"

"I wasn't having first thoughts!" Roxas whispered, turning bright red. Good thing it was still dark enough for the musician not to notice. "I mean… that's not what I was thinking."

"If you insist." Demyx's voice was amused.

"Tell me about… you know." Roxas said, letting that last remark slide. "You don't have to." He added. "If you don't want to."

"Nah, it's OK. I've never even told anyone this much. Not even my parents."

"Oh." Roxas wasn't sure what the significant of this was. He guessed it meant that he was special.

"My parents left me with him while they went out one night. His name's Xigbar. Scrawny, ugly guy, scar across one cheek, patch over one eye. Looks like a pirate. He came into my room. You can probably guess the rest."

The musician took a deep breath, held it for a second, and let it out slowly. "I didn't blame myself or anything, like some kids you hear about. Kids who think they deserve it in some way, that they're being punished. No, I knew what was going on, and that I should tell someone, have him arrested. But how could I let my parents know? Every time I opened my mouth to tell them… it was just like the times I've tried to be open about my sexuality. Only ten times worse."

"So you tried to commit suicide?"

"Yeah, I know. I'd probably been listening to too much emo music, spending too much time in suicide chat rooms. Most of the kids on there are just lonely, looking for someone to talk to, ya know?"

Roxas's hand somehow found its way into Demyx's, which he squeezed tightly before asking, "How did you do it?"

"Classic wrist slashing. Imaginative, I know. You can see the scars if you look hard enough. There's only two, one on each wrist."

Peering closely at the musician's pale skin, Roxas was unable to see them in this light, but when he ran his thumb over the delicate skin where the hand met the arm, he could feel a raised line running right across the wrist.

"Must have been deep." He murmured, bringing the arm closer and kissing the scar gently.

"I guess so. Like I told you before, I almost died from blood loss." Demyx turned onto his side again, face close to Roxas's, almost touching. Reaching out a hand, he brushed a strand of golden hair away from the younger boy's face.

"I hope you don't think I'm going to kiss you." Roxas whispered, his breath washing over the musician's face.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Demyx grinned, taking back his arm and turning over so that Roxas was faced with his back. "Good night."

"Morning, actually." Roxas mumbled, closing his eyes and trying to get some sleep before the others woke up. Thoughts of Demyx danced through his head, like little water sprites holding miniature guitars, like the one the musician carried around with him. Roxas tried to imagine the suffering that his friend had been through. He didn't blame Demyx for trying to forget his past. He'd done it himself, burying his memories under layers of hurt and guilt until he was able to sleep most nights without dreaming of Sora and Namine, their skin a pallid grey, bits of decomposing flesh hanging off at the elbows, lurching towards him like zombies.

Did Demyx have nightmares about his uncle Pete? Did he wake up some mornings, paralysed with fear, sheets drenched with sweat? Turning over to stare at the musician's back, Roxas moved closer, seeking warmth and comfort from the boy he'd met a couple of weeks ago, his closest friend in the world.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry. I was gonna end it in a kiss, but this builds up tension and fits in better with my plan. Now, a disclaimer. "Cruella de Vil" is owned by the Walt Disney Company (I think), "Sweet Child 'O Mine" is owned by Axl Rose, who is a bit of an arsehole, and "Real Emotion" is owned by Kumi Koda.

There's gonna be violence in the next chapter. Just to warn you in advance.


	10. Cry Yourself to Sleep

**A/N: **Time for angst, everybody! As I forewarned, there shall be violence. Terribly sorry, but that's the way it goes. I think I've said before that I like angst because it makes a happy ending all the more happier. Next chapter shall contain the most wonderful Namine. Enjoy!

* * *

You can always tell when it's nearly November – dark red leaves form a layer on the ground that is a foot high in some places, and you can't stop yourself from kicking up swirls of leaves as you walk through the piles. It doesn't occur to you to just walk on the pavement. Where would be the fun in that?

Two sixth formers, one dirty blonde, one with hair the colour of honey, walked side by side across a field, to get the full effect of Autumn's leaf-harvest, dragging their feet through the leaves and watching them scatter in all directions, aided by the wind. The boys are close enough to take each other's hand, but they remain far enough apart that they never touch.

"You should just drop Maths." Demyx was saying. What's the point in doing a subject you hate, just to get shit grades at the end of the two years?"

"I know." Roxas replied, "But you've met my parents."

The older boy knew them well enough to get an idea of what their reaction would be. Shrugging one shoulder to stop his guitar strap from falling down, he nodded in sympathy. He is wearing a long sleeved red t-shirt underneath a top he borrowed from Paine – black with a gold Heartagram – the logo of their favourite band. Over the past month, the two of them had found that they had a lot in common, more than Demyx had with Zexion, which made him wonder why he'd been friends with him in the first place. It seemed to him that the three of them – Zexion, Demyx and Axel – had been drifting further and further apart since they started secondary school. While Demyx explored his creativity and sexuality, the other two started bunking off lessons and drinking on school nights. Perhaps it was inevitable that they'd end up as they were now – two tough kids and a victim.

"Are you coming over today? I've been training my Pokemon and I think I can beat you this time." Demyx smiled hopefully at the younger boy.

Roxas made a face. "Can't. Parents being complete and utter twats again. They think I'm not spending enough time at home, want to spend quality time, blah blah blah."

"Oh." The musician's face fell. "That sucks."

"Yeah." Roxas scowled. "All they're gonna talk about is how I'm not trying hard enough at school, and it's not healthy for me to be friends with so many girls, and maybe I should join the football team."

"Uh huh."

"Then my dad will go on a rant about my appearance, and how I used to be so well dressed." The younger boy grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt, which had a skull with flaming eyes and daggers instead of crossbones. Although he wasn't wearing the ripped jeans today, the ones he was wearing dragged along the floor, so the bottoms were tattered and frayed.

"I think you're cute." Demyx grinned, ducking as Roxas tried to smack him around the back of his head.

"I'm aware of that." He replied, sticking his tongue out at the musician. "But I don't think my dad would be impressed by your opinion."

Shrugging, Demyx kicked at a pile of leaves and shoved his hands into his pockets. Their relationship hadn't progressed much further since the day before the sleepover, when they'd held hands. Sometimes Roxas allowed the musician to kiss him briefly on the lips before he went home, but he never so much as touched the older boy when they were in public. Demyx wasn't even sure whether they were a couple.

"I'll come over tomorrow and kick your arse then, if you want." Roxas promised.

"Take a beating from my superior Pokemon fighting force, you mean?"

"Yeah. That."

"Yay." The musician took Roxas's hand and squeezed it, briefly. The younger boy glanced around to check that they weren't being watched, and squeezed back, before letting go.

"D'ya think we should head back to school?" He asked, glancing at his watch.

"I guess so." Demyx sighed, wondering what it would be like to have a normal relationship. Probably not all it was cracked up to be.

* * *

Despite it being autumn, the air wasn't too cold for the four girls to sit outside, although Yuna didn't understand how Paine could wear a short-sleeved t-shirt without so much as shivering. Having a Yuffie on her lap probably warmed her up a little. 

"Where's Roxas and Demyx?" Rikku wondered, holding a red-gold leaf up to the sun, and watching the light shine through the thin papery surface, showing the veins that ran all the way through.

"Probably on one of their walks." Paine guessed, gently nuzzling her girlfriend's ear.

"Do you think they're secretly having sex and they're just really, really good at covering it up?" Yuffie wondered. "It's not healthy, two guys going on walks together and not even making out behind a tree."

Rikku snorted, dropping her leaf in a fit of giggles. Paine and Yuna glanced at each other and smiled.

"What's so funny?"

All four of them turned, their smiles vanished. Axel was standing behind them, leaning against a tree and smoking a cigarette, a smirk on his face.

"Where's your shadow?" Paine scowled, referring to her brother, who never seemed to leave the redhead's side.

"Silly fucker got detention. For once, I had nothing to do with it." Taking a final drag of his cigarette, Axel flicked it at the goth. It landed a metre to her left. "Damn. Need to improve my aim."

"Leave us alone." Rikku spoke up. "We're just talking."

Shrugging, the redhead started to walk off. "I'm bored of you losers anyway."

Silence descended over the four girls; Axel's appearance had stopped their conversation. Rikku found another leaf and began twirling it in her hand, Yuffie leaned back against Paine and sighed heavily, Yuna stared at the graffiti on the bench. Someone had written, "Life sucks", under which someone else had scrawled, "Fuck off Emo." Why had they bothered? It seemed pointless and meaningless to get a pen out of your bag just to write an abusive reply to someone you didn't know, who probably wasn't even going to read it.

"Who died?" Demyx asked quizzically, appearing from behind Paine and Yuffie. Roxas wasn't far behind; he sat down next to Rikku and was forced to feign interest in her leaf, which she'd named Vincent.

"Hi guys." Yuna greeted, making room for the musician to join her on the bench. "How was your walk?"

"We met a squirrel. Demyx scared him away. It was so manly, the way he jumped a foot into the air and screamed like a girl."

Demyx glared at him. "He was gonna jump on my face."

Turning to the older boy, Roxas raised an eyebrow. "It was a squirrel."

"A rabid squirrel that wanted to eat my brains."

"What brains?"

Demyx poked his tongue out at Roxas.

"Never underestimate the humble squirrel." Paine said solemnly.

"We're awful vicious." Rikku added, grinning widely. She knew full well about the goth's strange method of analysing people, and liked the idea that she had been attributed to a squirrel. It made sense, what with her feisty personality and habit of collecting things. Take her new friend Vincent, for example. Two weeks later she was bound to find him dried up on the windowsill, forgotten and left to decompose.

"It's time for Biology." Roxas said, having glanced at his watch and realised that they were five minutes late.

"Oops." Yuna said, grabbing her bag and waiting impatiently for the others to follow. Yuffie and Demyx had art, so they were going in roughly the same direction.

"Hey Roxas." Demyx said as the younger boy picked up his backpack (Axel still had his old one) and put his arms through the straps.

"Yeah?"

"Meet me by the front gates after school."

"I told you, I can't come over. Family time, remember?"

"Yeah, I know. I just want to walk you home, that's all."

Smiling, Roxas nodded. "Alright then."

* * *

As soon as he saw the red car in his driveway, Roxas's heart sank. His dad was home already, which meant that he was taking this "family time" thing seriously. He wasn't going to get any time to himself all evening, and, what's worse, he would be forced to talk to his parents. 

"This is not gonna be fun." He moaned.

By his side, Demyx smiled at him in sympathy. "Just imagine me naked for the entire evening. It'll make things a lot more interesting."

"Not helping." Roxas grinned, shoving his friend into a neighbour's bush, which ran around the edge of their garden and was taller than he was. "I'm so gonna have naked images of you, now you've said that."

Grinning up at him from the foliage, Demyx grabbed Roxas's arm and pulled the younger boy towards him, stopping him when he was inches from the musician's face.

"Cut it out." Roxas protested, pulling himself free. Shrugging, Demyx pushed himself away from the bush, picking a stray twig out of his hair. The two of them stood facing each other, neither wanting to leave.

"This is my stop." Roxas said softly.

"I know." Demyx replied. "I was leaving."

The musician looked down at the pavement, studied a leaf that stuck out of the gutter, far from its tree, then looked back up at Roxas.

"Leaving means going away." The younger boy told him, a smile creeping into his face.

"I'm getting there." Demyx said. Reaching out tentatively, he took Roxas's hand.

"Demyx." The younger boy warned. The musician ignored him, reaching out his other hand to push the hair back from his face. Roxas opened his mouth to say something else, but whatever it was, he didn't get a chance. Demyx had pulled him close and was kissing him with every fibre of his being, his right hand resting in the small of his back, his left hand still closed around Roxas's.

Trying to push him away at first, Roxas succumbed when the musician broke away and started to plant a trail of soft kisses down his cheek, moving on to his neck and nuzzling him affectionately. Breathing in deeply, the younger boy threw his arms around Demyx's neck and sighed happily into his hair.

"That was very, very bad." He murmured, running one hand through the short, blonde tufts that stood straight up from Demyx's head.

"Spank me later." The musician replied, moving up to Roxas's ear and kissing it briefly, before pulling away. He winked at the younger boy and walked away backwards, turning when he got to the corner and leaving a rather dazed Roxas behind him.

* * *

Sighing contentedly, Demyx leaned his head back into his pillow and closed his eyes, picturing the kiss he'd shared with Roxas earlier that day. The beautiful blonde boy had tasted of the orange he'd eaten at lunchtime, peeling away the segments and popping them into his mouth, biting down sharply to puncture the skin, then sucking the juice from the hole he'd made. Watching Roxas eat was better than porn. 

Today was the first time they'd kissed properly since the day four months ago when the younger boy had run out on him. This time he didn't seem to mind, which must be an improvement. After four weeks of getting nowhere, Demyx felt like his luck was changing. Who knew, maybe Roxas would finally decide to make their relationship official. They could go on dates, hold hands in public, sit in each other's laps like Paine and Yuffie did. He could imagine the look on Axel's face as he saw the two of them kissing, right in front of him.

A loud knocking jolted Demyx from his thoughts. Someone was banging on his door. Who in their right minds would bang on his door at 11 o' clock at night? Pulling on a pair of jeans, Demyx wiped the sleep from his eyes and stumbled over to the door, which opened up to the outside of the house. This way, people could visit him in his basement-bedroom without going through the house, which was handy for sneaking people in at 11 o' clock at night.

"Who is it?" He yawned, opening the door a fraction to see what kind of weirdo would knock on his door at this hour. Before his eyes had a chance to focus, the door was thrust open and Demyx found himself shoved backwards until his back hit the wall. Struggling against the hands that pinned him, the musician stared up into blue eyes, narrowed in anger and realised who his attacker was.

"Roxas?" He asked, confused.

"No, shit-for-brains, I'm his evil twin." The blonde growled.

"You look angry."

"Yeah." Roxas pushed him, squashing him against the cold, hard concrete. "Wanna know why?"

"That would be – ow!" Demyx whimpered as the younger boy dug his nails into his bare arms, leaving red marks. "That would be nice."

"Some fucking **idiot **kissed me right outside my house, which has **windows** by the way, so you can guess what happened when I went **inside**." Roxas hissed, bringing his face closer to Demyx's so that the musician had no choice but to stare into those furious eyes.

"You parents saw us? Shit Rox, I'm so sorry."

"_You're_ fucking sorry? I have nowhere to sleep tonight."

"They threw you out?"

"They made it pretty clear that I wasn't to come back." Demyx wished he would shout. As bad as it would be to hear the anger in Roxas's voice, anything would be better than the cold, hard tone he was using. It was as if the emotion had been drained out of him, leaving him empty.

"That's… I'm… Roxas, you're hurting me." Demyx gasped as the fingernails sank deeper into his flesh, drawing blood.

"Good."

"What are you…" Demyx gasped in pain as Roxas sunk his teeth into his shoulder, pulling at the flesh to tear it. "Ow."

"No more talking." The younger boy warned, drawing back to glare at him, fist raised. He slammed the fist into Demyx's stomach, making him cry out in pain, then raked his fingernails across the musician's face. Blood dripped down Demyx's cheek as Roxas leaned in and seized his bottom lip between his teeth, pulling at it and biting down hard. A whimper of pain escaped him, causing him to open his mouth enough for Roxas to slip his tongue inside. Responding involuntarily, the musician pushed against him with his own tongue, and Roxas yielded, allowing Demyx inside his mouth, only to bite his tongue. Drawing back with a cry of pain, Demyx tasted blood in his mouth and saw Roxas licking his lips smugly, ridding them of their sticky red coating.

Pressing his body close against the older boy's, Roxas slipped his hand inside Demyx's trousers and seized his balls. Squeezing tightly, he saw a mixture of pain and pleasure cross Demyx's face.

"If you come anywhere near me, ever again," he said slowly, gripping the musician tightly and watching him gasp for breath, shuddering as waves of pleasure spread through his body. "I will remove your testicles and force you to eat them."

Swallowing hard, Demyx nodded, whimpering slightly as Roxas squeezed again. His hardened cock strained against his jeans, begging for release. The younger boy's eyes moved downwards, lip curling upwards in disgust, and he released Demyx's balls, brushing his fingers lightly against the tip of his cock as he removed his hand.

He couldn't hold it any longer. With a sharp intake of breath, Demyx came, panting heavily as he closed his eyes tightly and tilted his head back to rest on the cold surface behind him. Hearing the door slam and the sound of angry footsteps walking away, he tried to tell himself that this wasn't happening. Without Roxas to hold him up, his legs gave way beneath him and he slid down the wall until he collapsed in a pathetic heap on the floor. Various parts of him ached, and he knew that he'd have bruises tomorrow, but the part of him that cared about this felt dulled and numbed as he lay there, the cuts on his cheeks stinging as they filled with salty tears.

* * *

"Roxas? I got your text. What's going on?" 

"I need somewhere to spend the night."

"Can't you stay at Demyx's?"

"No."

Yuna's face was etched with concern, but she didn't ask any more questions, simply opening the door and allowing the tired, miserable blonde into her home.

"Quiet. We can't wake my parents, they'd wonder why I was sneaking a boy into my room at midnight."

Roxas said nothing as he followed the brunette upstairs. Yuna pulled a spare mattress out from under the bed, gave Roxas a blanket to keep him warm, turned out the light and got back into bed.

After a few minutes she heard muffled sobs from underneath the blanket. Reaching out a hand, she stopped halfway, having second thoughts. Whatever was troubling her friend, he probably didn't want to talk to her about it. Maybe it was best to leave him for a while, until he was ready to tell her.

Sighing softly, Yuna lay back on her bed, heart fluttering with worry every time a sob reached her ears. Eventually they stopped and she heard heavy breathing. Roxas must have cried himself to sleep.


	11. Drawings on the Wall

**A/N: **Yet more angst, and Demyx doesn't even appear in this chapter. Sorry! You get to meet Namine though, and find out what happened to her and Sora. I'm pleased with the description of Roxas's feelings in this chapter. And I decided to put Luxord in at the last minute. I've been playing KH2 recently and he's become my second favourite character, after Demyx.

* * *

If Yuna hoped he was going to talk to her over breakfast, her gentle prodding was in vain. Crying himself to sleep last night had been cathartic, allowing Roxas to let out all of his feelings for Demyx. Maybe he had overreacted last night, and he felt guilty for that, but from now on he had resolved to treat Demyx with indifference. Ignoring the musician was going to be hard, but it was the best thing for both of them. More than anything, Roxas wanted to avoid upsetting his parents any further, and he knew that Demyx didn't deserve to have his heart broken. Continuing their relationship would only lead to bad things.

Yuna's dad had left for work by the time they got up, and her mum was still in bed, after having to get up twice during the night to look after Yuna's baby brother. Roxas was grateful for this; he wasn't in the mood to explain his way out of an awkward situation.

Following Yuna out of the door, he wordlessly turned towards the bus stop, rather than in the direction of the school, and kept on going, despite Yuna's anxious protests. Part of him wanted her to come with him, but he didn't expect her to bunk school on his behalf. Still, when her shouts started to fade into the distance, he wished he'd asked her. The butterflies had returned to the pit of his stomach and he didn't want to spend the day alone.

This time, when he reached the hospital, he remembered the way to Sora's room. The flowers were still there, rotting away on the bedside table. Or maybe they were different flowers. Either way, the glass of water was still there, a bunch of dandelions in place of the daffodils. With a jolt of surprise, Roxas remembered that Sora had liked dandelions, taking pity on them while other people called them weeds and waged war on them. What else had Roxas forgotten about his older brother?

As he reached out to read the message that was tied to the flowers, a voice from behind him stopped him, hand halfway to the glass of flowers.

"It's been a while, Roxas."

Taking a deep breath, Roxas turned around, looking down at the dull grey carpet in an attempt to avoid the piercing blue eyes that he knew were watching him. Sweeping his gaze upwards, he saw light purple trainers, followed by long, thin legs, a pink dress and, finally, a pretty, feminine face framed by auburn hair.

"Fourteen months and ten days." He replied, swallowing hard. The last time he'd seen Kairi was just after the crash, when the doctors were fighting to save Sora's life. His mother had come over, tears running down her face as she told them that Sora was alive, but they didn't know whether he'd ever wake up. Riku had disappeared before that, and Namine had already been beyond reach. He'd visited the pale blonde a couple of times in the months that followed, but the heartbreak had been too much for him.

"I could have been there for you." Kairi told him sadly. "You never returned my calls."

"I know." He replied. "I wasn't ready to face you then. The memories… I wanted to forget. You reminded me." Realising that he wasn't making much sense, he fell silent.

Kairi nodded. "I realised that you were avoiding me." She said. "After a while I started visiting during the day, when you were at school."

"I'm sorry. I just…"

"I know."

The heart rate monitor beeped in the background, a regular rhythm setting apart the seconds into nice little compartments. Even time was on a schedule here. Roxas started to count the beeps, while Kairi stared into his eyes. He'd lost count by the time she reached out and pulled him towards her, into a hug.

This intimate contact with someone solid and real broke through the barriers he'd spent more than a year setting up, and tore them away completely. Knees weak, Roxas felt himself shatter into pieces, tears spilling from his eyes as Kairi held him, the only thing preventing him from falling apart.

"I just wish he was here." He sobbed into her hair. "I don't know what to do without him. It's been fourteen months and ten days and I still don't know what to do."

"It's OK." Kairi whispered, her voice heavy with emotion.

"It's like I'm only half a person." Roxas told her. "Incomplete. If I could put myself in his place, I'd do it. If killing myself would bring him back…"

"Don't talk that way." Kairi said sharply, drawing back. Face softening, she wiped the tears from his eyes. "Do you know why I visit every week? Why I bring flowers and leave little notes tied to them, in case he wakes up?"

"You don't want to lose hope." Roxas guessed.

"That's damn right. Because if I lost hope, then what do I have? What's to stop me from killing myself?"

"Kairi…"

"You're not alone, Roxas. I love Sora. The day before the accident, he proposed to me, got down on one knee and everything. To go from the happiest day of my life, to the most terrifying… I feel exactly the same way as you." She gripped his arms tightly, trying to make him understand. "Let me be there for you, Roxas. Let's be there for each other."

By now they were both crying, tears running down Kairi's cheeks as she spoke. Roxas clung to her, his only lifeline in a world of confusion and fear. All of the emotion he'd kept bottled up since the accident was spilling out through his tear ducts, and as it left him he felt a heavy weight lift from his chest. Kairi's words echoed in his head, filling him with hope that he never realised he'd lost.

"You're not alone." He whispered. "Big sister."

Something that was halfway between a sob and laughter escaped Kairi's lips as she smiled at him through the tears. "I'm not your big sister yet." She told him.

"Silly." He replied, mirroring her smile. "You always were a big sister to me."

* * *

Heart beating faster than it ever had before, Roxas squeezed Kairi's hand as they reached the top of the stairs and walked out into the thirteenth floor. The air was even thicker here, even more suffocating. Roxas tried to tell himself that it was all in his mind, but as they passed numerous closed doors he found it harder and harder to breathe. 

When the truck collided with them on the motorway, Riku had been the one driving. Sora, in the passenger seat with the seatbelt that didn't work, had been thrown through the windscreen and out onto the road. In the back, Roxas, Namine and Kairi had all sustained minor cuts and bruises, and Riku ended up with a broken hand when it was wrenched from the steering wheel, but Sora had been the only one seriously injured.

Or so they had thought. In the few weeks that followed, Namine became more and more withdrawn, staying in her room for days at a time, refusing to wash, refusing to eat, ignoring anyone who tried to talk to her. The doctors had diagnosed her with chronic depression, caused by the psychological damage of the crash, and prescribed drugs to treat it. For a while, Namine seemed to get better, coming downstairs to eat and even sharing conversation with Kairi and their mother. However, eight days after she started taking the drugs, she threw her mobile phone out of the window for no reason. The next day, she was gone from her room, leaving no clue to her whereabouts. The police found her two days later, wandering the streets barefoot and in her nightie. Her explanation was that she had to warn Roxas about the hooded men and the creatures they controlled.

Soon after that, she was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, and institutionalised for her own protection. It emerged that the reason she threw the phone out of the window was because the hooded men could use it to hear her thoughts. Since then, her behaviour became increasingly dangerous. She took a bread knife from the kitchen and tried to saw her own arm off, claiming that the hooded men were controlling it. She started lashing out at random people, believing that they were assassins, sent to kill her. Once, while in hospital, she started tearing out her hair because she thought it was one of the hooded men's creatures, trying to suffocate her in her sleep.

Namine's delusions were centred around Roxas, and the hooded men. The doctors told Roxas that it's not uncommon for people in her condition to build up a fantasy world around themselves and the people they are closest to. It was likely that what happened to Sora made her worry about Roxas, to the point that she believed that these hooded men were after him.

Seeing her like this – talking in riddles, eyes darting around the room, the red marks in her palms where she clenched her hands into fists so tightly during the night that her nails left permanent damage – affected Roxas badly. After the first few visits, he couldn't go back. This was the first time he'd been here in nearly a year.

Kairi seemed to know where she was going, as she led Roxas to an office, where she asked for Dr Luxord. They waited for a few minutes before he appeared, an intelligent looking man in his mid twenties, looking distinguished thanks to a neatly trimmed beard, yet trendy with a silver earring adorning one ear.

"Good morning, Kairi." He greeted warmly, "And you're Roxas, aren't you? I never forget a face."

Roxas shook the man's hand, realising that he did indeed remember him from the early days, when he still visited.

"I was gravely disheartened when you stopped turning up." Dr Luxord told him. "Namine speaks of you often."

"I'm sorry." Roxas apologised for the second time this morning. "How is she?"

"Stable." Dr Luxord replied, "She no longer attacks the aides, and we've been able to take her out of the restraining jacket. Her delusions, however, have escalated. I'm afraid she is far from being cured."

"I want to see her."

"Of course." The psychiatrist nodded. "But be warned: Namine is not herself. Her words may upset you. I know they have in the past."

Roxas nodded. "I'm prepared."

* * *

Last time he was here, Namine was kept in a padded room, to stop her from clawing at the walls and hurting herself when she thrashed around at night. Since then, she'd been moved onto a ward with other patients. When Roxas and Kairi entered the recreation room, she was sat at a table in the corner, drawing intently with coloured crayons. As soon as she heard them approach, she looked up, a smile lighting up her features, reminding Roxas of what she looked like before the crash. Such hope and delight on her face… as if his arrival was the most wonderful thing in the world. 

"They told me they'd killed you. I knew they were lying."

Roxas's heart crashed into his stomach as he reached down and hugged her. His mind was awash with guilt for abandoning her. In her delusional state she'd translated his absence into his death.

"I'm sorry." He found himself apologising for a third time. "I'll visit more often, I promise."

"I understand." Namine told him in her musical voice. "You had to fight them, they who lurk in the darkness. You are their Key of Destiny. But you triumphed, and now you're here."

"I'm here." Roxas agreed. Her arms tightened around him, hugging him back. What must it be like to live in a world where danger lurks around every corner? Namine lived with it every day.

"I'm here too." Kairi spoke up from behind him. She'd been standing back, allowing Roxas his reunion.

"Always visiting. Bringing books and toys. You are a true Princess of Heart." Namine said as she hugged her sister. Kairi blushed a little, muttering "she always calls me that."

"What are you drawing?" Roxas asked, picking up the picture from the table. He saw himself, crudely drawn but unmistakeable nonetheless. He was holding a giant key as if it were a sword, ready to strike out at his enemies. The Key of Destiny…?

"A vision." Namine told him. "That's how I knew you weren't dead. I saw you fighting them. They sought to use you for their own purposes, but you left in search of your own path."

"She's always drawing people." Kairi said softly. "Mostly you, but sometimes Riku and Sora. Sometimes me, too."

Namine was tugging at Roxas's sleeve. "I want to show you my room." She insisted. He allowed her to lead him down the corridor to a dormitory with six beds. Namine's bed was instantly identifiable due to the large number of drawings which adorned the walls. Studying them briefly, Roxas saw a sleeping Sora, a few pictures of men in dark cloaks and one of Riku, his back turned, wearing one of the cloaks and holding something he didn't recognise.

Turning away, he swept his gaze around the room. The walls were a stark white, utterly impersonal apart from the area around Namine's bed. Roxas couldn't imagine sleeping here night after night without losing his mind entirely, but he supposed things were different when your mind is already lost.

"I read the books you brought me." Namine was telling her sister. "They were wonderful. I dreamed about heffalumps and woozles and the hooded men couldn't get to me."

Kairi grinned widely. "I'm glad you liked them. I brought another one with me today." Reaching into her bag, she brought out a copy of Peter Pan and handed it to her sister, who studied it intently.

"It's not a replica." She decided, putting it down on her bed with a smile.

"Replica?" Roxas wondered.

"They can make copies of things from the real world, and switch them when you're not looking." Namine told him. "You always have to be on the look out for replicas."

Biting his lip and tightening his fist, Roxas realised that he was still holding the picture of himself, crumpling it slightly. Holding it out, he offered it to Namine.

"Are you gonna put this on your wall?" He asked.

"I no longer need it." She replied with a smile. "Now that you're here."

* * *

On the drive home, Roxas was silent, staring out of the window and watching the world pass by. He knew that he hadn't been dealing with things well up until now, but today looked to be a step in the right direction. Making amends had helped clear his head. From now on, he would visit with Kairi every week. It was the least he could do. 

"Penny for them." Kairi said, so quietly that Roxas wasn't sure she'd truly spoken.

"What?"

"Your thoughts. Penny for your thoughts."

The beginnings of a smile began to creep across Roxas's face. "You used to say that all the time."

"Yeah. You always were a big thinker, contemplating the meaning of life."

"Not the meaning of life." Roxas told her. "Just what to do with mine."

"And what are you going to do with yours?"

Roxas paused thoughtfully, remembering what Mr King had told him. "I guess I've just been doing what my parents wanted. But… they don't always know what's best. Right?"

"I guess so." Kairi agreed. "You have to choose your own path."

"Then that's what I'll do." Roxas decided. "Whatever that means."

Kairi giggled. The silence was back, but this time it was more of a companionable silence, less of an awkward one.

"I read your message to Sora last time I visited." Roxas spoke up. "It said you'd heard from Riku."

"Yes." She nodded. "He's in India. I know you think he ran away, but he needs to find himself. He blames himself for the crash."

Roxas said nothing.

"_You_ don't blame him, do you?" She asked, turning her head briefly to look at his face.

"I… I don't know. It's not like he meant to do it, I guess. Accidents happen."

"You _do_ blame him." Kairi said.

"My brother's lying in a coma and Namine is out of her mind." He replied shortly. "I'm not ready to forgive him yet."

* * *

"Thanks." Roxas said as he got out of the car. 

"For what?" Kairi asked, looking up at him from the driver's seat.

"Everything."

The driveway was empty; his parents were both at work and he was free to enter the house without facing their angry questions. Of course, when they returned home they'd be demanding to know where he was last night, and who was the boy they'd seen him with, but he would cross that bridge when he came to it. For now he was content to be in the familiar surroundings of his bedroom, wrapped up in one of Sora's sweaters that he'd stolen from a charity shop bag before it was taken away. His parents had removed every trace of their eldest son from the house, not wanting to be reminded of their misery. To Roxas, this meant they had given up on him, they never expected him to wake. Then again, up until now, hadn't he been the same?

Sitting on the edge of his bed, surrounded by Sora's scent, he felt a sudden anger overcome him. Not at Riku, it wasn't his fault that Roxas had abandoned Namine and ignored Kairi's calls. Roxas was angry with himself.

Standing up suddenly, he kicked out at a pile of books, scattering them across his floor. Looking around the room for something else to take out his frustration on, he saw a photograph lying on his desk, of him and Demyx on the benches outside school. He was glaring at the camera, showing his dislike of having his picture taken, while the musician stuck up two fingers above his head, giving him bunny ears.

Taking hold of either end of the photo, Roxas ripped it in half, tearing it again and again until he'd shredded it into tiny pieces, then throwing the pieces up into the air, where they rained down on him, covering the room with shreds of paper.

Falling to his knees, Roxas blinked back tears. He wouldn't cry over Demyx. Not any more.


	12. Do You Get it Now?

**A/N: **I apologise for the angst, my wonderful readers. Soon all will be well again. In fact, I promise hot lesbian sex in the next chapter. It's probably not exactly what you want, but Demyx and Roxas will get there soon too. Anyway, for now you'll have to put up with the angst. And a wonderful Axel/Zexion moment. I'd probably better just point out that they're both straight and won't be getting togther in this fic. Shame, I know, but I have something planned for Zex.

**

* * *

**

Stretching out over three chairs, Yuffie sighed happily as she waited for the others to join her. Yuna would probably be the first one to arrive, ever punctual, then Paine and Roxas would turn up around the same time, and Rikku would, of course, turn up at the last moment, breathing hard. The blonde had never been on time for anything in her life. She was even born two weeks late – the doctors were ready to go in after her by the time her mother started giving birth.

"Morning." She grinned as Yuna entered the common room, as predicted, a slightly worried look on her face.

"Have you seen Roxas?" The brunette asked distractedly.

"No." Yuffie frowned, wondering what was wrong. "Why?"

Yuna sighed and took a seat next to her. "It's just that he wasn't here yesterday, that's all."

Looking sideways at her friend, Yuffie wasn't convinced that it was all, but she decided not to say anything. If something was going on, she was sure she'd find out about it sooner or later.

"Hey!" Rikku burst into the common room, on time for once in her life. The other two stared at her in amazement. "What? Do I have something on my face?"

Exchanging glances with Yuffie, Yuna smiled at the blonde and asked, "Is there a reason you're not late?"

"What?" Rikku sat down, kicking off her shoes and crossing her legs underneath her. "Oh, that. Yeah, my Dad's in town. He gave me a lift in."

"That's great!" Yuna replied, happy to see such a huge grin on her friend's face. "Is he taking you out this weekend?"

Rikku's face fell a little. "Uh… I dunno. He might be gone by then. He's only staying for a few days."

"Are your parents divorced?" Yuffie asked, realising only afterwards that she probably sounded rude.

"Yeah, my mum left ages ago." Rikku replied. "Dad brought me up on his own." Not the reply Yuffie was expecting.

Seeing the Japanese girl's confused face, Yuna elaborated. "He works for the Air Force, flying supplies to Iraq. He leaves Rikku on her own for weeks at a time."

"Oh." Yuffie said. "Isn't that illegal?"

"I'm 16, silly." Rikku told her. "And what else is he s'posed to do, take me with him?" The matter-of-fact way in which she spoke suggested to Yuffie that she was used to this arrangement. Still, she wouldn't have believed that Rikku was the type of girl who could spend so much time on her own without someone to look after her.

"Her uncle checks in on her a couple of times a week." Yuna added. "So it's not like she has to fend for herself."

Yuffie felt a little sad for Rikku. Even though she was becoming more independent now that she was a teenager, it was comforting to know that her parents were there, providing for her. She couldn't imagine sleeping in an empty house night after night, only seeing her parents once every few weeks.

"Roxas! Where were you yesterday?"

Looking up, Yuffie saw that the blonde boy had just walked through the door with a melancholy look on his face. Smiling briefly at Rikku, who had just greeted him, he mumbled something about a dentist appointment, avoiding Yuna's gaze entirely as he sat down.

"Did you see Demyx yesterday?" Rikku asked, oblivious to the uncomfortable look that crossed Roxas's face. "He looked like he'd been beaten up. Maybe Axel and Zexion…"

"I haven't seen him." Roxas replied curtly, changing the subject. "What did I miss in Biology yesterday?"

Rikku shrugged. "Something boring about plants."

"I have the notes, if you want to copy them." Yuna offered, searching in her bag for a green folder and turning it to yesterday's notes.

"OK."

While the others talked, Yuffie was becoming more and more aware of her girlfriend's absence. The bell was about to go, Paine should be here by now. It wasn't like her to show up late, and if she wasn't coming in she usually sent Yuffie a text to warn her. A knot of worry formed in the Japanese girl's chest and refused to go away despite the fact that she knew she was being illogical and there was probably a good reason why her girlfriend was late.

When the bell rang, signalling the start of first period, Paine still hadn't turned up and the knot of worry had turned into a rope of panic, wrapping itself around Yuffie's chest and squeezing tight.

* * *

Yuna and Paine had History together, second period, and it wasn't until halfway through the lesson that the goth turned up, dark rings around her eyes.

"Where have you been?" Yuna asked as Paine practically fell into the chair next to her.

"I overslept." The goth frowned in reply, making it clear that no further conversation was necessary. Sighing to herself, Yuna added one more person to the list of friends with problems they were hiding from her. She noticed that Paine kept slipping a hand under the sleeve of her t-shirt and rubbing her arm.

Throughout the rest of the lesson, the goth was completely silent, rubbing at her eyes from time to time. She didn't look like she'd just overslept. She looked more like she hadn't slept at all last night. Had something happened between her and Yuffie? The Japanese girl had been acting normal, so Yuna didn't think that was the case. It was more likely that her home life was what was bothering her. Despite having known the goth since primary school, Yuna didn't know much about her family, apart from Zexion, because he was in the year above. The only thing she knew for sure was that Paine was reluctant to talk about her life at home, never inviting Yuna or Rikku to her house, never talking about her parents, never even explaining why she was driven to school in a car with blacked out windows.

When the lesson ended, Yuna headed back towards the common room for break, Paine following wordlessly. Yuffie greeted her girlfriend with a hug, but instead of returning it, Paine just leaned on her, resting her head on the Japanese girl's shoulder and sighing heavily.

"What's wrong?" Yuffie asked, pulling back and looking the goth in the eyes.

"I'm just tired." Paine replied. Yuffie sat down on one of the chairs and the goth rested her head in her lap, spreading herself out over a row of chairs. The Japanese girl stroked Paine's hair gently, wondering what had provoked this change in her girlfriend and what she could do to make things right again.

* * *

"Bullshit."

Crossing his arms, Axel leaned back against the wall of the bike sheds, scowling heavily. Just tired? What kinda excuse is that? If Zexion really were tired, he'd have stayed home instead of turning up late for school, zombie-like, face devoid of expression. "We don't keep stuff from each other. Spill."

Two red rimmed eyes turned his way, glaring at him through half closed lids, but Axel could tell that his long-suffering emo friend wasn't angry. The look he saw in Zexion's eyes was that of despair.

"What. You ain't talking now?" Axel reached out a finger and prodded him in the chest.

"Piss off, you dork."

"Dork? I'm not the one who plays with his sister's Barbies."

"That was ten fucking years ago, Axel!" Zexion burst out in exasperation. "Can you not just leave it alone?"

Trying as hard as he could not to laugh, Axel raised an eyebrow at his friend. "How long have we known each other, Zex?"

"Thirteen years."

"When was the last time you kept something secret from me?"

It took Zexion a second to think about it. "When I was gonna kill myself?"

"But you told me in time for me to talk you out of it."

"OK… how about when Mum died?"

"That was year three, and I was the first person you told, dummy."

"Yeah, but I didn't tell you she was ill."

"Did you even realise she was ill? You were how old, six? Seven?"

The silver haired boy closed his eyes in remembrance. "No. I guess I didn't."

"Don't go all emo on me. I'm trying to make a point here." Axel reached around and whacked Zexion lightly on the back of the head. He'd tried sympathy before, and found that distraction was a better way to stop Zexion from dwelling on his mother.

"What's your point then, smartarse?" His friend asked, rubbing the back of his head in mock pain.

Drawing himself to his full height, Axel tapped the side of his head for emphasis. "We don't keep secrets. Got it memorised?"

Zexion stared at him for several seconds, then just blurted it out.

"Dad's been arrested."

"Oh." Axel looked around as if he'd find an appropriate response. "Do you want a hug?"

"No I do not want a fucking hug, you stupid faggot!"

"Sorry. That was dumb." Axel lowered his arms.

"You didn't sound surprised."

"Zex, your Dad's a drug dealer."

"You could've pretended to sound surprised." Zexion's voice was full of hurt. Axel wished that it was OK for two guys to hug. The silver haired boy sounded like he needed it.

"Sorry."

Zexion shrugged. "It's OK. I'd probably hit you for patronising me."

"Do you want to hit me anyway? Or we could find Demyx, if you'd rather hit him."

His friend seemed to be having an internal struggle. One half of him must have won, because he said, "Do you think I could have that hug, instead?"

"Sure."

The two boys hugged briefly, before simultaneously pulling away and glaring at each other, as if it was the other's fault.

"Faggot." They both said. Axel was the first to break into a smile, Zexion mirroring his friend and holding his breath to prevent the laugh that fought to break free. He was unable to stop himself when Axel snorted, then fell against the wall laughing. It was as if the redhead's laughter was infectious, tugging at something inside Zexion's chest and releasing all the pent up emotion that had resided there for so long. Tears streamed down the silver haired boy's face as the two of them laughed until their sides started to hurt. Finally, breathing deeply and holding it in an attempt to get rid of his hiccups, Axel sighed happily and grinned at his friend.

"You're better off without him. You know that, right?"

"Yeah." Zexion nodded. "He's a fucking awful dad. I can't remember the last time he remembered my birthday."

"I think you were eleven."

Zexion shook his head. "He got the right date, but not the right child. Threw a surprise party for Paine. She was pretty fucking surprised."

Staring at each other for a moment, both boys burst into another outbreak of laughter. If anyone had walked past at that moment they'd think the tall redhead and the silver haired emo had been smoking something other than regular cigarettes.

* * *

"Are you guys going to the prom?" Rikku asked excitedly.

Yuna rolled her eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you? It's not a prom, it's a winter ball. We don't have proms."

"Whatever." The blonde stuck her tongue out at her friend. "Are you guys going?"

"Of course I'm going." Yuna replied. "Yuffie? Paine?"

The Japanese girl looked down at her girlfriend, whose head still rested in her lap. "We _are_ going, right?"

"I dunno. I might not go."

"What? Come on Paine, it'll be fun!" Rikku enthused.

The goth shrugged. "It's just a stupid ball."

"You don't want to go to the ball with me?" Yuffie said quietly.

Sighing impatiently, Paine sat up and leaned back against the chair. "Don't be like that."

"Like what?"

"Forget it." The goth muttered, closing her eyes and ignoring anything that was said to her.

* * *

Roxas was discovering that it's hard to find Physics interesting when your almost-boyfriend is sitting in front of you, occasionally rubbing at the angry red spot on his neck that you caused two nights before. There was no point in trying to tell himself that he wasn't staring. Staring was what he was doing.

He knew his attraction to Demyx wasn't going to disappear overnight. The trick was not to think about the musician if he could at all help it. Unfortunately, that was hard when all he had to do was reach out and he would be touching his cheek, gently caressing the soft, pale skin…

Sighing to himself, Roxas turned back to his textbook and tried to concentrate on the words that swam before him. They were supposed to form sentences, but all he could see was gibberish. It occurred to him that probably the only reason he had managed to cope in this lesson up until now was his friendship with Demyx.

The bell rang, somewhat quelling his anxiety. As his classmates began their usual mad dash to get out of the door, Roxas took his time packing away his books as usual.

Suddenly realising that he was alone in the classroom apart from one other student, Roxas looked up and met the gaze of the one person he really didn't want to be talking to right now. Demyx had turned around in his seat and was gazing straight at him without a single shred of resentment in his eyes. After what he'd done, Roxas had expected the musician to be angry.

"You weren't in school yesterday." Demyx said softly.

Swallowing hard, Roxas managed to croak out an "Um. Yeah."

Smiling nervously, Demyx blinked and looked down at the table. "I know you said not to talk to you, but… I just wanted to say. You know." He sighed and looked up again, focusing his blue eyes on Roxas's own. "I'm sorry."

"You… you're sorry?" Roxas repeated incredulously.

"Yeah. I shouldn't have… I'm sorry."

"I should be the one who's sorry. I practically beat you up."

Closing his eyes, Demyx sighed once more. "You don't get it, do you?"

"Get what?" The younger boy frowned.

"Roxas. You can do anything to me, anything at all, and I'll be there the next morning, waiting for you to wake up so that you can do it again."

"Demyx…"

"I love you, you stupid, beautiful, annoying… I love you. Do you get it now?"

"Shit Demyx, I can't deal with this!" Roxas shouted, grabbing his bag and running out of the room, not stopping until he'd passed the school gates and was halfway home. He didn't care that school wasn't over yet. He didn't dare go back, knowing that if he saw Demyx again he'd cave in. It was too early to break his resolution. Demyx and him were in the past, whether the musician loved him or not.

If the tightness in his chest and lump in his throat meant that Roxas loved him back, he would just have to get over it, and move on.


	13. I'm Not Your Princess!

**A/N: **Yuna, Rikku and Paine's outfit for the ball will be based on dress spheres from X2. Yuna's is Guna Mage, Rikku's is Black Mage and Paine doesn't describe hers in this chapter, so I'm not gonna tell you. If you Google them, you can find pictures. When I imagine Paine's pyjamas, I think of Ruby Gloom, the happiest girl in the world. Put that into Google and you'll find pictures. **Warning - **this chapter contains a blonde moment and Yuri (that's hot girl-on-girl action.) Next chapter is the winter ball.

* * *

"I found it in that shop, you know, the one owned by the woman who says she's a witch? It's, like, purple with really long flowy sleeves, and like a black corset top thing to go over it, and then a short purple skirt and the cutest leg warmers, they're like purple down one side and yellow down the other, I know, it sounds weird, right? But trust me, it looks AWESOME! And there are these little shoes with curly toes, like the little elves in Santa's workshop wear, and on top of that I'm wearing a HUGE floppy purple hat, like a witch's hat. So, have you got your outfit yet?" 

Blinking rapidly, Yuna tried to assimilate all of this information. Rikku's outfit for the winter ball sounded… interesting. Knowing Rikku, it would look absolutely gorgeous on her, although no one would be able to figure out why, and if anyone else tried to wear it they'd look daft.

"I found a really nice skirt in a charity shop, it's blue and purple in a swirly pattern." She replied, trying to visualise her outfit. "I have a top that goes with it, the purple one with the white sun on the chest, and I bought arm warmers and knee high boots to complete the look. My mum said she had a necklace I can wear with it, too."

Grinning, Rikku hugged her friend. "We're gonna be the prettiest girls at the prom!" She giggled.

Frowning in mock anger, the brunette hit her friend lightly around the back of the head. "I told you, it's not the prom, it's the winter ball." She sighed.

Roxas watched this exchange in amusement. Yuna worked at the stables and actually enjoyed getting covered in mud and straw, and Rikku could take a radio apart and put it back together again in under 10 minutes, but when it came to clothes, they turned into giggly girly girls, like Selphie and Larxene. Girls. He didn't understand them.

"What about Paine?" Rikku wondered. "Has she agreed to come yet?"

Yuna sighed, looking concerned. "Have you seen her today?"

Both blondes shook their heads. In the past two weeks, the goth had become more and more withdrawn, speaking only when necessary and avoiding social situations as much as possible. It had been Zexion who had eventually told them about their father's arrest. Paine wouldn't speak to anyone about it, not even Yuffie.

"I don't think she's coming to the ball, Yunie." Rikku said sadly. The girls each had a photo of the three of them together at their year eleven leavers ball. At the time, it had been unthinkable that there wouldn't be another picture of them together at the next ball.

The three of them sat in silence, until they were joined by Yuffie, who asked if they'd seen Paine today. Yuna shook her head and the Japanese girl's face fell.

"She's not answering my calls." She said sadly. "I'm really worried about her."

"She's been like this before." Yuna told her, biting her lip. "We found out she was self harming." She had promised not to tell anyone, but Yuffie was Paine's girlfriend, and if she had reverted to this old habit, the goth needed help.

"Self harming. You mean like cutting herself and stuff?" Yuffie asked, frowning in a good imitation of Yuna's concerned face.

"Yeah, her arms were covered in scabs for a while." Rikku said. "Do you think she's doing it again?" She asked Yuna.

The brunette shrugged. "She's been wearing long sleeves. And she has a good enough reason… not that there's ever a good enough reason to cut yourself, but you know what I mean."

Yuffie stood up.

"Where are you going?" Rikku asked.

"I can't just sit around, sending texts asking if she's alright." The Japanese girl replied, leaving the common room in search of someone who could help her get through to Paine.

Roxas watched her leave. "If anyone can cheer Paine up, it's her." He said softly. When he turned back to the other two girls, he found them both staring at him. "What?"

"Is Demyx going to the prom?" Rikku asked him pointedly. Yuna's eye twitched slightly, but she resisted the urge to correct the blonde.

"Um… yeah, I think so. I mean, he asked me… but I said no… I think he's going."

"Dumbass idiot moron-face." Rikku sighed.

"What?"

"What Rikku is trying to say in her oh-so-eloquent manner is that we think it's time you made up with him." Yuna told him softly.

"What?"

"He said he loves you, and you're perfect for each other, and you refuse to talk to him coz you're a dumbass idiot moron-face." Rikku explained.

Scowling, Roxas grabbed his bag and stood up. "Since when was it any of your business?" He practically shouted. "You think you can just wave your magic wands and people will get together because you want them to? This isn't a fairytale and I'm not your princess!"

As the watched the angry blonde storm out, the two girls sighed.

"He's a little touchy today, isn't he?" Rikku said.

"He's afraid to admit his feelings." Yuna replied.

"You think?"

Raising an eyebrow at her friend, the brunette wondered whether Rikku was being sarcastic or just having a blonde moment. "Yes, that's what I think." She said slowly. "Wasn't that the whole point of the talk we just had with him?"

"Oh yeah!" Rikku grinned.

Blonde moment. Definitely.

* * *

As he watched his friend take another drag of his cigarette, Axel couldn't help but notice that Zexion had been smoking a lot more recently. The emo usually smoked one or two a day, but in the past couple of weeks Axel hadn't seen him without a white stick in his hand. He was bunking school a lot more, too. While Axel still went to two thirds of his lessons, Zexion rarely turned up to any of his. 

Could it be his dad that was the cause of all this? The mere fact that he was in prison shouldn't be making Zexion this much more emo than usual. Axel hadn't met Sephiroth more than a few times, but he knew that he wasn't close to either of his kids. There must be some other reason that Zexion seemed so stressed lately.

"Hey." He said, noticing a black haired girl approach. "Isn't that your sister's fuck buddy?"

Turning his head to see Yuffie coming closer, Zexion shrugged. "I think they broke up."

Tilting his head to one side, Axel waved at the Japanese girl. "Hey. Yukki isn't it? Or Yumi? Yuri?"

"Yuffie." Yuffie corrected. "Smoking's bad for you, by the way."

"Really?" Zexion asked in mock surprise. "Oh. Better get rid of this then." He threw the cigarette over his shoulder.

"You want something?" The redhead asked. "Date to the ball? I don't come cheap, but I'm sure we can come to some arrangement."

"Not from you." Yuffie replied, wrinkling her nose in disgust. Ignoring the redhead, she turned to Zexion and crossed her arms. "What's going on with Paine?"

The silver haired emo shrugged. "Do I look like I care?"

"She's your sister!"

"Not my fault."

"Look, Yuppie…" Axel said, muscling into the conversation.

"Yuffie."

"Whatever. What you need to realise is, Paine doesn't want you any more. She's bored of you. You need to move on, find someone new. Like me, for instance."

"Axel." Zexion warned.

Raising his hands, Axel started to back away. "I get it. I can take a hint. I know when I'm not wanted."

"Fuck off then." His friend told him.

Winking at Yuffie, Axel strolled away nonchalantly, talking loudly to himself about what a bastard his best friend was. "Just doesn't appreciate me like he used to. Fucking wanker…"

Reaching into his pocket, Zexion took out another cigarette and lit it, offering one to Yuffie, who glared at him. Smiling to himself, he replaced the nearly empty packet in his pocket.

"She went straight to bed last night and didn't get up this morning." He told her. "Hasn't been eating for a couple of days. Won't talk to anyone. It's pissing me off."

"So will you help me do something about it?" Yuffie asked.

"I'll drive you to the house." Zexion offered. "But that's it. And don't tell Axel about this."

"Thanks." She said softly, turning up the corner of her mouth in an almost-smile. Zexion may act all self absorbed, but she could tell that deep down, he cared about his sister. Being brought up by a father who doesn't care about either of you will bring any two people together, no matter how much they dislike each other on the surface.

* * *

As Yuffie stood at the front gates of a huge estate, it suddenly occurred to her that Paine's family was wealthy. No, more than wealthy. Filthy, stinking rich. It was true that a few days ago she'd found out that her girlfriend's father was a drug dealer, and in the back of her mind she'd vaguely realised that drug dealers make a lot of money, but until now she hadn't really understood how this would affect her. 

Zexion left her at the gates to find Paine herself. "I'm not gonna wait for you." He told her. "I'm driving back to school."

Yuffie's response was to shrug and push open those giant gates, strolling as causally as she could up the path towards the house. As she approached, the building got bigger and bigger until it towered over her like a Behemoth eager for its next meal. Swallowing nervously, she noticed that the sturdy oak doors were lightly ajar and, pushing them open, she slipped inside the house, finding herself in a wide hallway with a staircase at the end. Zexion had said that Paine refused to get out of bed. That must mean she was somewhere at the end of that staircase.

"Paine?" She called when she reached the top of the stairs. "Paine!" She shouted, louder this time.

"Yuffie?" A confused call came back to her. The goth's voice was hoarse and croaky, probably because she hadn't eaten or spoken in days. Following the voice, the Japanese girl pushed open the door of a room right at the end of the second floor hallway, and found darkness on the other side.

"Paine? It's all dark in here." She said, eyes trying to adjust to the dim room. "Where are you?"

"Over here." Came the reply. Yuffie could just about make out the shape of a bed, with someone sitting up in it, looking her way.

"Where's the light?" Yuffie asked, searching for the switch on the wall.

"A little to your left."

"Found it." Paine had a dimmer switch that you turned, making the light gradually brighter or dimmer. Yuffie only turned it slightly, knowing that Paine wouldn't be used to bright light after spending so long in a darkened room.

"What are you doing here?" Paine asked, ruffling her hair with one hand and stretching with the other, yawning widely as she did so. Everything about her – the untidy hair, the messy state of the blankets, the chibi-goth pyjamas, the exposed midriff where said chibi-goth pyjamas had ridden up a little, the droopy, half closed eyelids, was adorable. Smiling to herself, Yuffie resisted the urge to jump on her girlfriend, at least until after they'd talked.

"What am I doing here?" She echoed, perching on the edge of the bed. "You've been down recently, you didn't turn up at school today and you haven't been returning my calls."

"Maybe I'm just ill." Paine countered.

"Zexion told us what happened to your dad. And… Yuna told me…"

Leaning her head back suddenly so that she practically slammed it into the headboard, Paine made a sound of irritation. "She was supposed to keep it a secret."

"Keep what a secret?"

Lifting her head to glare at her, Paine pulled back the sleeve of her pyjamas. "That." Small cuts criss-crossed down her arms, deeper in some places, barely scratching the surface in others. A couple of the wounds were fresher than the others, as if they'd been inflicted in the past 24 hours.

Reaching out to touch the arm that was offered, Yuffie gave a small gasp. "So you _have_ been self harming again."

The arm was withdrawn before she could touch it. "That's none of your business."

Crawling closer to her girlfriend, Yuffie took her hand and sighed softly. "Of course it's my business."

Again, the hand was snatched away. "Get out of my room."

"No. I won't leave until we've sorted this out." The Japanese girl insisted, taking Paine's hand again and refusing to let go.

"Why are you being so stubborn?" Paine growled.

"Because I love you!" Yuffie growled back.

Gradually the goth relaxed, every muscle in her body loosening. "Love." She murmured. "What's that? Hormones and neurochemicals and self-preserving instinct."

"Silly girl." Yuffie smiled, leaning forward and kissing her girlfriend gently on the lips. Finding them to be dry and chapped, she ran her tongue over them, making them soft and moist. As the lips parted and she slipped her tongue inside, Yuffie stroked the soft skin of Paine's cheek, tangling her other hand in the unruly silver hair.

At first, the goth's only response was to fight back, tongue curling around the other girl's, but it wasn't long until Yuffie felt strong arms wrap around her back, feeling the pressure from her fingers as Paine clutched her tightly. When she pulled back, she saw tears in the goth's eyes.

"What're you looking at?" Paine muttered, relinquishing her grip on Yuffie with one hand in order to brush away the tears. Before she could do this, however, the Japanese girl took her hand and held it out of the way.

"Close your eyes." She instructed. When Paine did what she said, she leaned forward and kissed the eyelids gently, tears clinging to her lips.

"That tickles." The goth complained, opening her eyes sharply.

"You taste salty." Yuffie replied simply. Paine's arms were around her once more, and a small smile played at the corners of her mouth.

"Stop it. I'm trying to be miserable." She sniffed, pulling Yuffie close so that she could kiss her cheek and then nuzzle her, rubbing her nose against the soft skin that she found there.

"Rikku was right. You're cute when you're tired." The Japanese girl giggled, leaning into the other girl and burying her face in her neck. With her left hand, she found the place where the chibi-goth pyjama top ended and the bottoms didn't quite begin, slipped her hand inside the top and caressed her girlfriend's stomach.

"Hey." Paine protested, wriggling against the strong fingers that held her down. "Fine." She sighed, giving up her struggle and pushing against the fingers in encouragement. "But I'm gonna win."

Without further warning Yuffie felt herself being pushed down onto the bed, her top removed and carelessly flung into the deep recesses of the goth's bedroom, never to be seen again. Paine kissed her neck, moving downwards to the pale flesh of her chest, reaching behind to remove the Japanese girl's bra, which soon followed the t-shirt.

"Mmm." Paine sighed happily, burying her face in her girlfriend's soft breasts, kissing first one, then the other, before sucking at Yuffie's left nipple. The Japanese girl moaned slightly, unconsciously wrapping her legs around the goth's body in an effort to bring her closer.

Moving further downwards, Paine brushed her lips across Yuffie's stomach, momentarily dipped her tongue into her navel and started to undo the belt that came between her and her goal. Taking this opportunity to undress the other girl, Yuffie grabbed the chibi-goth pyjama top and pulled it upwards, forcing Paine to pause momentarily in order to allow the garment to be pulled over her arms and head. The Japanese girl took great pleasure in sending the top to the same fate as her clothes had previously met, although her dark brown combats soon followed, leaving her in her knickers. As the goth massaged the inside of her thighs with the tips of her thumbs, Yuffie reached forward and grabbed the boobs that dangled above her, brushing the nipples with her thumbs and seeing a spark of pleasure cross Paine's face.

Looking down at her lustfully, Paine met Yuffie's eyes, smiling at the thought of what she was about to do to her. Slipping her knickers down her legs, she flung them across the room and grabbed hold of Yuffie's thighs with her hands, pulling them gently apart and positioning her hands so that the tips of her fingers were tantalisingly close to her entrance. Breathing heavily, Yuffie pushed her hips downward in an attempt to get the pleasure she so desperately wanted.

Ever so slowly, Paine reached one hand up to her mouth and licked her finger, then brought it down and pushed it inside of Yuffie, who by now was panting with need. The Japanese girl cried out when she felt the digit inside her, rubbing against her sensitive flesh and sending shoots of pleasure up through her stomach and into her chest, making her nipples stand on end. She let go of Paine's breasts and clutched the sheet beneath her, twisting and crumpling it as she writhed in pleasure. By now the finger had been joined by another, and another; three digits massaging her and brushing up against a spot that doubled her ecstasy. When the fingers were removed she let out an audible groan, eyes that she didn't realised she had closed fluttering open to see Paine licking the juices from her fingers.

"You taste salty too." She grinned, bending down so that her face was centimetres from Yuffie's private area. Flicking out a tongue, she licked the flesh that covered the entrance, sliding her tongue inside and teasing another groan from her euphoric girlfriend.

Panting heavily and letting out the occasional gasp of pleasure or whimper of delight, Yuffie felt herself come and closed her eyes tightly, savouring the orgasm. The adrenaline high gradually dissipated, her breathing calmed and she felt Paine's naked body pressing against hers. When she opened her eyes, she found dark brown ones gazing into hers.

"So… are you going to the ball?" Paine asked her.

"I dunno. There's this girl I like… I was kinda hoping she'd go with me."

"You mean like a date?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I was gonna go. If you're going, we could go together."

"Yeah mean like a date?" Yuffie smiled.

"Yeah." Paine rested her head on her girlfriend's stomach, closed her eyes and sighed happily to herself. Yuffie let her hand rest on the mess of silver hair, stroking it gently, until she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: **Kudos to **The Masquerade Moth**, who guessed about Paine's self harming. A cookie for you! PS, I really like the word 'knickers' and I try to use it as much as possible. How juvenile.


	14. Are You Going To Go After Him?

**A/N: **The not-very-long-awaited winter ball is here! Paine's outfit is based on her White Mage dress sphere, except I changed it from white to black because, come on, it's Paine. Yuffie's outfit is based on my lesbian fantasies, and the boys are just wearing boring old tuxedos. The identity of Rikku's dad is finally revealed, although I think it was pretty obvious. Zexion finally gets a girlfriend, Axel gets wasted and Yuna finds herself a date. As for Roxas and Demyx... you'll see. Heh heh.

_

* * *

_

_Ding-dong!_

"Roxas! I'm freezin' my arse off out here!"

The blonde boy smiled to himself as he heard his mother answer the door, imagining the look on her face when she saw the blonde girl on the other side. After checking himself in the mirror one last time, he went downstairs to rescue Rikku. She had been frostily welcomed inside and was currently been stared at by his mother, who had rather conventional views on how girls should dress and act. The floppy purple hat and purple-and-yellow tights definitely didn't fit into her idea of a traditional ball gown.

"Are you Roxas's date to the ball?" She asked dubiously. Unsure how to respond – she didn't think she should mention Demyx – Rikku just smiled awkwardly, uncharacteristically lost for words.

"Mum, this is Rikku." Roxas said as he reached the bottom of the stairs. "Oh, I see what you meant about the corset thing… anyway, she's not exactly a date."

"What is she then?"

"My… chaperone." Anticipating the long and complicated argument ahead, he took Rikku's arm and practically dragged her out of the house. "See you later, Mum."

"Have you got your key?" She called after him.

"Yeah!" Roxas closed the door and rolled his eyes at the blonde on his arm, who was looking him up and down appreciatively.

"You look good in a tux." She complimented, then giggled and ran to the car, where the others were waiting. Roxas didn't recognise the driver – a rough looking blonde man in his mid thirties – but he had an idea of who it could be.

"Is this yer new fella then, Ri?" The man asked, pushing down hard on the accelerator before Roxas had a chance to do up his seatbelt.

"Dad!" The blonde giggled. "No, he's not my boyfriend!"

"Whose is 'e then? Yuna?"

"He's not mine, Mr Highwind." The brunette said with a smile. She was sitting next to Roxas, in the middle row of the huge land rover. Yuffie and Paine sat behind them and Rikku sat next to her dad, in the front.

"I tol' ya girl, call me Cid." The blonde man grumbled, turning right sharply enough to give someone whiplash. "Paine? Nah, yer a dyke now, aincha?"

"Dad!" Rikku hissed, punching him on the arm.

"Sorry."

"It's OK, Cid." Paine called from the back.

"See? She don't mind. Now ya ain't tellin' me this lovely lad ain't gotta date to the prom?"

"It's not a… never mind." Yuna sighed. There was no point in correcting people if they weren't going to listen.

"Roxas has a date. He just won't admit it." Rikku said, twisting round in her seat to glare at the boy who sat behind her. "Right?"

"Will you shut up about that?" He scowled.

"Who's this myst'ry date then?" Cid asked curiously.

"It's nothing." Roxas insisted, crossing his arms. Cid pulled off the motorway without indicating and sped down a narrow road towards the venue for tonight's ball. Mercifully, he seemed distracted from the conversation and said nothing more about Roxas's "myst'ry date". Now, if only he could convince _himself_ that his relationship with Demyx meant nothing, Roxas would be able to enjoy his evening.

* * *

As soon as the girls stepped out of the car, they stared admiring each other's outfits. Rikku had been describing hers for the past week, and asking everyone else about theirs, but Yuffie had been keeping hers secret and Paine had only put hers together at the past minute, relying on the large and slightly eccentric wardrobe that had once belonged to her mother. A large, black, fake fur coat with long flared sleeves and a wide hood covered a diamond-studded, midriff-revealing top and a short skirt, both black. On her legs, she wore opaque black tights and just higher-than-knee-high boots, and on her hands were black leather gloves. Finished off with a silver necklace bearing a pentagram pendant, the outfit made her look like… 

"Ohmygosh! Paine's a Bond villain!" Rikku giggled, jumping up and down and clapping.

Paine gave her an awkward twirl, showing off the outfit in its entirety. "Couldn't have you upstage me, could I?"

"My girlfriend's a Bond villain." Yuffie grinned, slipping an arm around the goth's waist.

"My girlfriend's a high class porn star." Paine teased, taking in the Japanese girl's ridiculously short dress and boots that came up to the top of her thighs. Standing on the tips of her toes, Yuffie managed to lick the tip of the goth's nose playfully.

"Are you kids goin' inside, or are ya jus' gonna stand aroun' out here all day?" Cid complained from the car. "Coz I'm freezin' my balls off here!"

"Thanks for that, Dad." Rikku complained. "Come on guys, let's party!" And, grabbing Roxas's arm, she led him to the large building where the ball had already started. A few shy kids were sitting at tables, but most of the sixth form was out on the dance floor. Rikku was satisfied to see Larxene staring in her direction and gossiping behind her hand to Selphie; it was obvious that they were making fun of her outfit – just the reaction she'd been going for. If the two most popular girls in the year hated your attire, you must be doing something right.

Roxas was slowly sliding off of her arm, heading for a table, so she doubled her grip. "Hey Yunie, grab his other arm and lets make him dance!"

He found himself being dragged to the dance floor by the two girls, followed by Yuffie and Paine, who were arm in arm, the goth having shed her heavy coat. Remembering Rikku's energetic dancing at the sleepover, he was almost prepared for the hip wiggling, arm flinging dance she went into, grabbing both of his hands and pulling him along. Yuna didn't even attempt to follow them, instead, holding back peals of laughter, she found herself being tapped on the shoulder.  
"Hi Yuna. You look nice."

"Tidus." A smile formed on the brunette's face. The tall, floppy haired football player looked incredibly out of place in a tux. "You want to dance?"

Sighing with relief, Tidus extended a hand. "That's what I was… you look nice."

"You already said that." Yuna smiled, taking his hand as a fairly slow dance started. Somehow, Rikku didn't even break the rhythm of her crazy dance as she changed pace to fit the song. Roxas looked terrified as he tried not to bump into people, apologising every two seconds.

Tidus wasn't a bad dancer. Yuna supposed that you had to have some kind of rhythm to be a football player; otherwise you'd be constantly tripping over your feet. She'd seen him play before, flicking the ball from foot to foot with ease, weaving in and out of the other players as if they weren't there. Strangely enough, he seemed to be lacking the confidence he showed on the pitch, blushing profusely whenever Yuna looked at him and stuttering out his answers.

"It's a little strange seeing you in a tux." She said. "You weren't at the year 11 ball, were you?"

"N-no." He replied, twirling her around and bringing her close again. "Rai and Seifer aren't… they didn't really want to, so… we just. You know." He shrugged helplessly.

"Oh." Yuna didn't know why Tidus was friends with those two. Sure, they were football buddies, but Tidus was a lot more mature than Seifer and Rai, who cared more about the sport than anything else. "Where are they tonight?"

"I-I ditched them." The muscular football player grinned. "They think they're too cool to dress up and dance."

"Well… I'm glad you came."

* * *

"Look at Yuna dancing with the hunk!" 

Nipping her girlfriend's neck gently, Paine growled possessively. "You're not allowed to think he's a hunk."

"Sorry." Yuffie giggled, wrapping her arms around the goth's waist as they swayed gently together. "Look at Yuna dancing with that guy I have no attraction to."

"Better." Paine glanced over at the brunette. "Hmm."

"What?"

"She's had a crush on Tidus since year ten."

"Oooh…" Yuffie's eyes lit up. "D'you think they'll get together?"

"Shut up and dance with me." Paine kissed the Japanese girl's forehead and pulled her closer, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Just as they were about to kiss, they had a sudden attack of the Rikku.

"Sorry." Roxas apologised for the fortieth time that evening. "Hey, it's you guys. Help!"

Sharing a glance with her girlfriend, Yuffie leapt into action, grabbing both of Roxas's arms and pulling him free of the mad blonde.

"Hey! You stole my Roxas!" Rikku had come to a halt and was standing with her hands on her hips.

"Used to be our Roxas. Stole him from us. Bitsch."

A drunken Axel stumbled across the dance floor towards them, bottle in hand. Zexion was nowhere in sight, but the redhead's presence meant that the emo must be nearby. Possibly at the bar.

"Well, he's our Roxas now." Rikku told him, a stern look on her face. "You can't have him."

"Um…" Roxas spoke up.

"I'll fight ya for 'im." Axel raised his fists and almost fell over with the effort of trying to focus on Rikku.

"Bring it on!" The blonde growled, clenching her fists and getting into battle stance, feet apart.

"I thought I was _my_ Roxas…"

"Shut up. This has nothing to do with you." The redhead told him.

"No fighting." Paine warned, putting herself between them. Yuffie grabbed Rikku's arms and pulled her away to an empty table and the goth placed on finger on Axel's nose. "If you don't leave, I'll push you over."

The redhead hiccupped and shrugged lopsidedly. "Got better stuffs to do anyway." He said, nearly getting knocked over more than once as he made his way back across the dance floor towards the bar in the room next door.

"What's going on?" Yuna had come over to see what the fuss was about, bringing Tidus with her.

"Just Axel being a prick as usual." Paine shrugged. "Hi Tidus."

"Hi." The footballer smiled shyly at Roxas and Paine. The four of them went to find Yuffie and Rikku, who were chatting animatedly at the table, the blonde having apparently forgotten that she'd been squaring up for a fight two minutes ago. Roxas, Yuna and Tidus sat down with them, but Paine excused herself, saying she'd be back in a minute.

* * *

Demyx had debated whether it was even worth going to the ball, but in the end he decided he might as well turn up. After all, he'd paid for the ticket and rented the stupid tux. When he saw Roxas dancing with Rikku, he considered leaving, but it occurred to him that Roxas didn't look too happy about being dragged around the dance floor by the blonde girl, which cheered the musician up slightly. 

He'd retreated into the other room just as Axel and Zexion had turned up, and Demyx had hurriedly started a conversation with Mr Strife, his physics teacher, before the boys could start picking on him. He'd heard Axel call him a teacher's pet, but he knew that he couldn't do anything while there were teachers around. The redhead had disappeared somewhere, leaving Zexion and his date behind at the bar. Not that they seemed to care, surgically attached at the mouth as they were. Demyx recognised the skanky emo girl from the year below as Fuu, a girl from his music class. Turning away from the disgusting snogging, he went back to discussing university with Mr Strife.

"I don't really have any plans for the future." He admitted. "I guess I could do an art foundation year… or a music tech course at uni."

"No plans involving physics then." His teacher asked, face serious, although that didn't mean anything with Mr Strife. His face was always serious.

"Well, no, I… I like the subject, but I don't really want to…"

"It's OK. Not everyone is a natural born physicist. Not even me."

"Really? What did you want to be when you grew up?"

"Jackie Chan." The physics teacher replied, completely deadpan.

"Have you considered taking a gap year?" Asked the man sitting to Mr Strife's right. Demyx suddenly realised that it was Mr Lexaeus, a P.E teacher that he used to hate, mostly because he made them run laps when he thought they weren't really trying. In retrospect, the hundreds of laps Demyx had been forced to run over the years had probably been the only thing keeping him fit.

"No, I didn't really think of that. Don't most people just go straight to uni?"

"My gap year was the best year of my life." The P.E teacher told him. "I went to Zambia, taught science to a bunch of seven year olds, started a football team while I was out there. Ended up staying for three years."

"Cool." Demyx smiled, wondering if he'd have the courage to leave home and spend a year in a foreign country.

"If you don't want to leave the country you could do some volunteer work at a primary school, teach guitar or something." Mr Strife suggested.

"I guess… yeah, I could do that." He nodded thoughtfully. Whatever Mr Lexaeus was going to say next was interrupted by a very drunk redhead crashing into the table.

"Hi guys. Got any weed?" Axel asked, stroking Mr Strife's arm. "You're my best mate, you know that?" The two teachers looked at each other, eyebrows raised. "You. You're… you." Axel continued, poking Demyx in the chest. "Never liked ya. Stoopid… stupid fag. Yeah. Hey Zex, got any weed?"

Zexion appeared at the redhead's side, Fuu clinging to his arm as if she was stuck there. "Wasted." She said, staring at Axel, who was batting at Zexion's hair like a kitten playing with a pair of curtains.

"Yeah… we should take him home." He emo sighed, lifting Axel and trying to drag him away, Fuu making no attempt to help. The redhead struggled, not wanting to leave just yet.

"You're no fun, Zex. Leggo."

"I think you should listen to your friend." Mr Lexaeus warned. "Go home now before you do something you'll regret."

"You wanna fight? Coz I'm… you wanna fight?" The redhead punched the air in front of the P.E teacher's face and promptly fell over. "See that Zex? I kicked his arse. Heh. Arse."

Both teachers stood and took an arm each, dragging Axel across the room and throwing him into the cold night. Demyx noticed with satisfaction that it was raining. Someone behind him seemed to find it as funny as he did, because he heard a familiar low chuckle.

"What are you doing here?" He asked Paine as she took the seat next to him. "You look awesome, by the way."

"Thanks. I notice you're wearing a tux."

"Yeah… it's what guys wear to, you know, balls and stuff." Demyx shrugged.

"I just thought you'd be more comfortable in something… prettier." The goth smiled suggestively.

Demyx noted dryly that Paine was as blunt as ever. "Can you imagine what would happen if I turned up in drag?"

"I'd beat up anyone who said anything against you."

Hearing those words made Demyx slump into his chair as if someone had cut his strings. Blinking back tears, he realised how much the goth's friendship meant to him. He hadn't just lost Roxas; he'd lost four other friends, too. "I thought you'd be on Roxas's side." He said quietly.

Paine rolled her eyes. "You know I love Roxas, but we all think he's being a twit."

"Really?" A smile broke out on Demyx's face.

"Really. So, are you gonna ask him to dance?"

The musician's face fell. "He'll say no. Or run away. Or say no, then punch me, _then_ say no."

"Paranoid much?" Paine raised an eyebrow. "It can't hurt to try, can it?"

"I dunno?" Demyx asked, forehead creasing with uncertainty.

"Just ask him, for fuck's sake." She sighed, pushing back her chair. "Before the rest of us go crazy."

"That simple, huh?" He said quietly as she went back into the other room.

* * *

Half an hour to go and Roxas was beginning to regret agreeing to come to the stupid ball. Not only were Paine and Yuffie were happily enveloped in each other's arms, but Yuna was dancing with this random guy that Roxas couldn't help but admit he was more than a little attracted to. Even Rikku had found a group of guys in the year above who appreciated her crazy dance, which meant that he was left sitting at the table, toying with something that could just about be called food. Whose bright idea was it to hire a fancy catering company? Most sixth formers lived on cold pizza and chocolate. 

Was that Zexion over there, dancing with a barely-dressed emo girl? Well, the term dancing could only be loosely applied to what they were doing, which was basically fully clothed sex. Roxas smiled briefly, then swept his gaze past the part of the room he really didn't want to focus on, because that's where Demyx had been sitting for the past two hours. He was sure that the musician was watching him, and he really wished that he could find this creepy, rather than ever so slightly sweet.

As a slow song started, Paine reached for Yuffie and pulled her close. "Still staring at each other?" She asked her girlfriend, who could see them both from where she was.

"Yep." The Japanese girl sighed.

"This is stupid. We should go over there."

"Leave them alone, kitten."

Paine smiled at Yuffie's new nickname for her. She definitely preferred it to sweetie and honey. If the girl was going to give her a pet name, there were worse things than kitten.

"Uh oh."

"What?" Paine turned her head to see what Yuffie was staring at. Rikku had finally abandoned her crazy dance and was stomping over to the table where Demyx sat. She said something to him angrily, then grabbed his arm and dragged him over to a sullen Roxas. "Is this a good thing or a bad thing?"

Yuffie just shrugged. "Lets find out."

"Rikku…" Demyx said, biting his lip. Roxas just sat there, looking up at the older boy. "He doesn't look like he wants to dance." The musician said hesitantly.

"You don't have to dance. Just talk." Rikku said, pushing the musician into a seat. "I'll be over there."

Roxas looked down at his plate, saying nothing. Demyx opened his mouth uncertainly, then closed it again, chewing on his bottom lip.

"Not good enough!" Rikku shouted as she danced past. Roxas fought back a smile.

"I'll go away if you want." Demyx offered. "I know you still hate me…"

"Where'd you get that idea?" Roxas asked quietly.

"Um… you came to my house and threatened me… and you ran away when I, um… and you've been ignoring me…"

"Yeah, I guess it must have looked like I hated you."

Fiddling with the edge of the tablecloth, Demyx stole a glance at the younger boy. "So… you don't hate me?"

With a sigh, Roxas stood up and picked up his jacket. "No, Demyx, I don't hate you."

"Oh…" The musician muttered as he watched the blonde leave. Paine and Yuffie had crossed the room were watching from nearby. The goth sat down next to Demyx and rested her elbow on the table, chin on her hand, staring at him silently.

"Are you going to go after him or not?" She asked suddenly. Demyx looked up in confusion.

"You think I should?" He asked. Paine nodded.

* * *

Staring up at the heavy thunderclouds that coated the night sky, Roxas let the rain wash over him like cleansing tears. The bitter night air was numbing him slowly from the outside, seeping through into his bones. 

"You'll catch a cold." A soft voice said from behind him. Roxas didn't have to turn to know it was Demyx. He'd recognise that voice anywhere.

"So will you, if you stay out here." He replied without turning, gaze still fixed on the heavens. He felt a small hand slip into his, fingers interlocking with his own, which responded instinctively, as if this was the most natural thing in the world. Turning his head to the left, he saw Demyx looking at him with hopeful eyes.

"I guess we'll catch a cold together, then." The musician said, hair heavy with rain. His usual mullet was flattened, giving him a more girlish appearance. Overwhelmed with a sudden urge to touch the drenched, shivering boy that stood before him, Roxas reached out and pulled Demyx into a hug. He felt arms wrap around him, hands clutching at him desperately as if he'd disappear at any second.

Feeling the musician's shivering body pressed against his, Roxas realised how much he wanted him, and had wanted him ever since their first proper kiss. More than anything, he wanted to find somewhere private where he could take Demyx against the wall, but he knew that the musician was a virgin. They would have to wait until they were somewhere they could do it properly, or he'd risk hurting him.

"Take me home with you." He breathed into the older boy's ear. "I'll pay for the taxi."

"Are you sure?" Demyx asked.

Roxas nuzzled into his neck lovingly. "I don't want to spend the night anywhere but with you."


	15. Now I Have To Bleach My Eyes

**A/N: **This chapter has been through a complete re-write. I got sick of trying to make the original version any good, so I changed the setting and added the first part with Yuffie and Demyx (the reason - I wanted to call Yuffie a ninja). I didn't originally plan to make this chapter pornographic - it was gonna be in the next chapter - but I started writing the sex scene without thinking about it and then decided that it was too good to get rid of. So... **Warning: **Yaoi (that's a guy and another guy getting naked and sweaty. No prizes for guessing who).

* * *

Hands placed together, Yuffie bowed respectfully to a tanned, muscular man with brown hair that came to just above his shoulders. Turning away to grab her water bottle, she searched the room for Demyx and found him being flipped by a girl ten years younger than him. Trying to hide her smile, she went over to give him a hand up.

"This sucks." The musician gasped, accepting the water bottle gratefully. "My arse has now officially been kicked by every eight year old in the class."

"That's because, to be an eight year old in Leon's class you have to be a black belt." The Japanese girl said helpfully. "Don't worry, he does this to every potential new member." She turned to watch their karate instructor as he moved through the room, correcting postures. "And speaking of the sensei… what d'ya think? Told you he was cute, didn't I?"

Demyx nodded without realising, then remembered that he was in a relationship now. "Not as cute as Roxas." He said dutifully. "And aren't you a lesbian?"

Shrugging, Yuffie took her drink back from the musician and put the lid back on. "Does that mean I can't find guys attractive?"

"Um… that's kind of the point…"

"Besides, Leon's pretty feminine, if you ignore the muscles."

"Why would you ignore the muscles?" Demyx sighed longingly.

They both looked at each other, suppressing giggles. "We're total fangirls, aren't we?" Yuffie smirked. "OK, stop staring, he's coming over here."

Taking a deep breath to squash his giggles, Demyx tried to appear nonchalant as the sensei approached.

"How are you finding the class?" Leon asked.

"Uh, it's been… enlightening." Demyx replied.

The older man chuckled softly. "I see potential in you. It would please me greatly if you were to return next week."

"Really? Awesome! Uh, I mean… thank you Leon-sensei." The musician bowed hastily.

"Yuffie-san. You are progressing well. I fear I will not be able to defeat you for much longer."

"Heh. You're just saying that, Leon-sensei." The Japanese girl blushed.

"I do not say that which I do not mean." Leon said gravely.

"Teacher's pet." Demyx whispered playfully as they returned to the changing rooms.

"Watch it. I could kill you in any number of ways." Yuffie warned. "Do not insult the great ninja Yuffie Kisaragi." Striking a killing pose, she walked backwards into the girl's changing room, nearly tripping over a bag that had been left in the way. Smiling to himself, Demyx opened the door to the boy's changing room, finding it empty, and quickly showered before dressing in his clothes. Expecting to be the first one out, he was surprised to find the great ninja Yuffie Kisaragi waiting for him outside, checking a non-existent watch in mock-impatience.

"Come on, we're supposed to meet the others five minutes ago." She said, running off without waiting for him to catch up. The karate class met at a sports centre in the middle of Twilight Town, which was a half-hour bus ride from Radiant Garden Comprehensive School, and the nearest place with decent shops. Running as fast as he could to catch up with the energetic ninja, Demyx turned a corner to see the others waiting for them in the park in the middle of town.

Yuffie threw herself at Paine, nearly knocking her to the ground in her enthusiasm to smother her with kisses. Roxas was sitting on one of the swings and Demyx took the swing next to him, reaching out and brushing his hand briefly. He knew that his boyfriend didn't like to act like a couple in public after what had happened before.

"Is everyone here now?" Paine asked as Yuffie stopped molesting her and settled down on her lap.

"Yes. Can I have my Christmas presents now?" Rikku asked, hugging herself and shivering with cold. She glared at Demyx, jealous of his ability to withstand freezing temperatures. Oblivious to her gaze, the musician picked up his guitar case from the ground and pulled out his instrument, strumming it absentmindedly.

"Why'd you bring that?" Paine asked, bringing out a bag of presents. Rikku pounced on the bag, throwing out presents until she found one with her name on.

Demyx shrugged. "I felt like it." A gift-wrapped box hit him in the head and fell into his lap. Checking the tag, he saw that it had his name on it, so he pulled at the bow until it was loose enough to take the lid off the box. "Excellent." He grinned, picking up the earrings that rested inside. He'd got his ears pierced last week, after much encouragement from Roxas, who thought his cross-dressing habit was adorable.

"Don't put them in yet." Yuffie told him. "You've got to wear them to the party."

"Party? What party?" Rikku's ears pricked up and she looked up from the Pokemon Yellow game she'd just unwrapped. "I like parties."

"Um, well, Zexion's doing the usual pub crawl with Axel, so I have the house to myself on New Year's Eve." Paine said. "You guys can come over, if you're not doing anything else."

"Paine!" Rikku squealed, hugging her tightly. "This is a big deal! We've never been to your house before!"

"I know. I thought it was about time I invited you people over." The goth said, toying with her skull necklace (a Christmas present from Yuffie) as she was released from the blonde's death grip. From his seat on the swings, Demyx stopped strumming his guitar randomly and started a song, singing along quietly.

"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road, time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go, so make the best of this test and don't ask why, it's not a question but a lesson learned in time…"

Roxas recognised the song and started to sing along. "It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right, I hope you had the time of your life." Their eyes met and they smiled, remembering the last time they'd heard that song. Demyx had a habit of playing music during intimate moments. A sudden memory of the musician's face as he came, panting and gasping and begging for more, crossed Roxas's mind and he bit his lip to stop the grin from spreading.

"Doughnuts!" Rikku exclaimed randomly. Everyone turned to her.

"What?" Yuffie asked, confused.

"That song reminds me of doughnuts." The blonde girl shrugged. "Aw, now I have cravings."

"There's a stall selling them over there somewhere." Roxas said, pointing. "I'll go get some. Who else wants doughnuts?" Everyone put their hand up – Rikku stuck both in the air and waved them excitedly.

"I'll come with." Demyx said, putting his guitar away. As they went off to find the doughnut vendor, he wished that he could slip his hand into Roxas's gloved one without being pushed away. At times like this, he felt like nothing had changed about their relationship.

"What time do you want me to come over tomorrow?" Roxas asked, for lack of anything better to say, wanting to break the silence. They had been given a presentation to do for physics, and they'd made plans to get it over with as quickly as possible so that it wasn't left until the last minute.

Demyx shrugged. "Whenever."

Looking sideways at his boyfriend, Roxas sensed that something was wrong. "OK, what's up?"

"Nothing." The musician replied, trying to sound like everything was fine.

"You're pissed off at me."

"Sorry." Demyx said, looking down at the ground. "It's just… you know how Paine and Yuffie are all over each other?"

"Oh." Roxas realised what was troubling the musician. "I'm sorry. It's just… I'm not comfortable being like that in public."

"I know. You don't have to explain. I just wish your parents were OK with it."

Roxas had decided as soon as they got back together that there was no way he could come out to his parents. Not just because they would they react worse than they had last time, but also because Roxas didn't want to upset them. They were still trying to adjust to what had happened to their eldest son. Something like this would devastate them.

"Me too." He agreed quietly.

"But still…" Demyx said. "I don't see why we can't hold hands when we're out like this. No-one's gonna recognise you here."

"That's not the reason." Roxas replied. "I don't like the way people stare when we do that."

"You're ashamed to be with me?"

"No, I… you wouldn't understand."

"So enlighten me." Demyx insisted.

"Forget it." The younger boy sighed, quickening his pace so that they'd reach the doughnut vendor before the musician could continue the conversation.

* * *

While they waited for the boys to return with food, the others discussed their plans for the Christmas holidays. Rikku was excited about spending Christmas with her dad, who'd managed to get time off during what was usually his busiest time of the year.

"We're going skydiving!" She said, eyes wide as she waved her arms to imitate two people jumping out of a plane. "And he's managed to get permission for me to fly the plane once it's in the air, until we get to the bit where we jump out, although I'll be under supervision, of course. How cool is that?" Cid had paid for flying lessons the second that Rikku was old enough, and the blonde girl loved to be in the air, in the cockpit of a helicopter or aeroplane.

"It's great that he's spending time with you this Christmas." Yuna said. "I know you miss him when he's away."

"Spending Christmas with you is always fun, Yunie." Rikku said hurriedly. "It's just, you know, he's my dad. Besides, your parents are probably sick of me waking them up at six in the morning to open presents."

"Yeah, they've got my brother to do that now." Yuna joked.

"Watch out." Paine warned, seeing her brother approach. "It's Ebenezer Scrooge."

"If it isn't Santa's little elves." Zexion sneered as he leaned against the park's climbing frame.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" The goth demanded.

Fuu appeared at Zexion's side and narrowed her eyes at Paine. "Bitch."

"Slut." Paine shot back. Since her brother had started dating the monosyllabic emo-skank, she'd got to know the girl a little better, and her contempt for her had doubled.

"Dyke."

"Whore."

"Girls!" Red fingerless gloves (with hands attached. Oo) were shoved in both girls' faces as Axel caught up with his friends, inserting himself into the conversation in the only we he knew. "No need to fight over me."

"Dude, it's my sister and my girlfriend." Zexion objected, shoving the redhead away. Shrugging, Paine turned away, pointedly ignoring the girl who clung to her brother's arm.

* * *

"OK. How about this." Roxas said as he saw who had turned up at the park. "Would you kiss me in front of Axel and Zexion?"

"That's different!" Demyx insisted, glancing nervously at the redhead, who had noticed their approach and was waving at them cheerfully.

"How is it different?"

"Well… they… you know how they'd react. They treat me badly enough as it is."

"You wouldn't do it because you're afraid of how they react." Roxas said. "That's how I feel all the time. You don't notice the way people look at Paine and Yuffie, but I do."

"You won't kiss me in public because you're scared that complete strangers will judge you for it?" Demyx clarified. "That's it?"

"I knew you wouldn't understand." Roxas sighed, taking the doughnuts over to the park before they got cold.

After watching him for a second, Demyx ran after his boyfriend, catching up with him just as he reached the others. "I understand perfectly." He said as he took Roxas's face in his hands and pulled him in for a kiss. Instinctively, Roxas opened his mouth and allowed the musician's tongue inside, vaguely noticing that everyone else had fallen silent. Finally, Demyx pulled away, tugging at Roxas's bottom lip with his teeth as if reluctant to let go.

"Fucking hell." Axel swore, looking at the pair at him as if they'd just had sex in front of him. "Come on Zex, we're getting outta here. Might catch something…"

"Yeah." Zexion agreed, following him rapidly retreating friend. "Not cool. Now I have to bleach my eyes…"

Fuu stayed behind, staring at the two boys. "Awesome." The emo girl stated, before following her boyfriend. Paine smirked slightly as she left, wondering if maybe she could bring herself to like the girl after all.

Roxas stared at Demyx open-mouthed, until the musician took hold of his chin and closed it for him. He picked up his guitar and sat on the frozen grass, strumming away happily to himself. After a while, Roxas joined him on the grass, cuddling him from behind, legs wrapped around his midriff as Demyx concentrated on the instrument in his hands. "I'll punish you for that later." He whispered in the musician's ear, slipping his arms around his waist and squeezing him gently.

"Is that a promise?" Demyx grinned, leaning back into his embrace.

* * *

The crisp, chill air condensed Roxas's warm breath as he strode across the road, hands in pockets, huddling inside his coat against the cold. His only consolation against the freezing temperature was that Demyx's room would be nice and warm, as always. Living in the basement meant that the musician took more precautions against the cold than most people, filling his bedroom with no less that three heaters, which also served as cooling fans in the summer. The only downside to this was that Roxas had no excuse to cuddle up to the older boy in mock-innocence, protesting that he was only sharing body heat.

He didn't have to wait long after knocking on the basement door. It was opened almost immediately, to reveal a grinning Demyx on the other side, grabbing him and pulling him inside. The musician was wearing a long sleeved blouse, one of Yuna's skirts and high heels. Grinning at the cuteness of his boyfriend's outfit, Roxas dropped his bag on the floor, pulled him into an embrace and kissed him sloppily. Demyx relaxed into the kiss as Roxas slipped his hands inside the blouse, running his fingers over the musician's stomach and chest, but he was pushed away before those fingers were allowed to explore much further.

"Stop it. You're here to do homework." The musician scolded, holding the younger boy back as he attempted to undo the buttons and remove the offending garment.

"We can do homework later." Roxas pouted. "It could be like an experiment. To find out whether homework is easier when you do it naked."

"Tempting." Demyx said thoughtfully, his distraction allowing the other boy to undo the top few buttons of his blouse. "Hey!" He slapped the hands away. "Stop that!"

"Fine. Homework it is." Roxas sighed, throwing himself onto the bed, removing his coat and throwing it towards the nearest corner. Expecting Demyx to join him with textbooks and the like, he raised his eyebrow at the musician, who was just standing there, staring at him like a starving man would stare at a meal. "What?"

Kicking off his heels, Demyx finished unbuttoning his blouse and walked towards the bed at the same time. He slipped the garment over his shoulders and climbed onto the bed, crawling towards his boyfriend. "You cheated." He growled, pushing Roxas into the mattress and straddling him.

"How did I cheat?" The blonde asked, grinning widely as Demyx ground his hips into him, leaning down to cover his mouth with a fiery kiss.

The musician pulled back in order to answer his question. "By being so irresistibly sexy." He panted, pulling Roxas's t-shirt over his head. "Now be quiet."

In response to this demand, the younger boy wrapped his legs around the musician and flipped him over so that he was on top. Now it was his turn to straddle Demyx, laying kisses down his chest and pressing his growing erection into the older boy's until he heard a desperate moan escape Demyx's lips. Silencing him with a kiss, Roxas pulled down the skirt, delighting in the realisation that his boyfriend wasn't wearing any underwear.

"I knew you were just playing hard to get." He breathed, eyes darting over every inch of Demyx's naked flesh, hands following the path that they traced. The musician voiced his appreciation loudly as Roxas explored his body, bending down to pull at each nipple with his teeth, running his tongue over the hardening nubs and then blowing on them.

"Roxas!" Demyx gasped, fingers entangled in the younger boy's hair, "If you don't fuck me _right now_…"

"What?" Roxas teased, brushing the tips of his fingers over the musician's stomach, so close to his straining cock, but not close enough to provide any relief. "You'll moan loudly at me?"

"You fucking tease!" The musician complained, bucking his hips against the younger boy and gasping as the friction sent shoots of pleasure through his abdomen. Pushing him down firmly into the mattress, Roxas licked the tip of his cock briefly before enveloping it with his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hardened flesh.

"That's more like it." Demyx moaned, feeling the familiar wave of pleasure wash over him. Arching his back, he resisted the urge to push himself further into Roxas's mouth, knowing that this would hurt the blonde.

When the musician felt himself close to orgasm, Roxas pulled away, allowing a rush of cool air to occupy the place where he'd just been. "Hey…" Demyx looked up to see the blonde undoing his belt and pulling down his trousers, kicking them off so that they fell to one side of the bed.

Roxas positioned himself between the musician's legs, pushing his thighs further apart so that he'd have room to manoeuvre. He reached for the drawer where he knew Demyx kept his lube – they'd done this often enough in the past month for him to be able to find it in his sleep.

"We're running low." He commented, squeezing a liberal amount into his hand before replacing the tube and closing the drawer again.

"Well, if you didn't use so much…" Demyx gasped as the younger boy finished coating his erection with the fluid and ran a lubed-up finger around his entrance to loosen the muscle, then pushed the finger inside.

"You want this to hurt?" Roxas asked, waiting for is boyfriend to adjust and pushing the finger in further, adding a second as the muscles started to relax. Demyx shook his head, sighing with contentment as Roxas's middle finger brushed against his prostate. When a third finger was added, the younger boy decided that he was ready and removed the fingers, positioning himself so that he rested just outside Demyx's entrance.

The musician groaned loudly as he pushed himself in, lifting his hips to push against the cock that filled him, urging him in further. Roxas stopped when he was fully sheathed inside him, looking down at the panting boy beneath him, holding the gaze of those lust-filled eyes as he slowly pulled out and pushed back in again.

They set up a rhythm, Roxas reaching down to pump the musician's straining erection, Demyx pushing hard against every inwards stroke, impaling himself upon the younger boy, becoming more and more vocal as he neared orgasm.

"Fuck… Rox… h-harder… I'm gonna… _Roxas!_" the musician screamed his name as he came, filling his hand with sticky fluid, muscles tightening around him. Arms weakening, unable to hold him up any longer, Roxas collapsed on top of the older boy, filling him with his seed and panting heavily.

Demyx wrapped his arms around the boy who lay on top of him, holding him as close as humanly possible, whispering nonsense into his ear. They lay like that for a while, breathing gradually returning to normal, until the musician remembered why his boyfriend was here in the first place.

"Homework." He sighed, pushing the blonde onto his side and sitting up. He retreated into the bathroom to clean himself off and emerged a minute later, still completely naked. Roxas was lying in the bed, looking extremely self-satisfied.

"Looks like we'll be trying out my experiment after all."

Giving his boyfriend a look that was somewhere between love and frustration, Demyx crossed over to his desk and picked up something that was lying there. "Here's your Christmas present."

Taking the present from his boyfriend as the musician climbed back onto the bed and cuddled up to him, Roxas turned it over in his hands. It was flat and rectangular and it didn't rattle when he shook it.

"It's traditional to _open_ this kind of thing." Demyx said, kissing his boyfriend's shoulder.

"Yeah… just trying to figure out what it is." The blonde shrugged as he tore the paper and peeled it away to reveal a picture frame that held a detailed pencil drawing of two young males, curled up in bed much like they were now. "Is that us?" He asked, tracing the curve of the smaller boy's body in the picture, who looked a lot like Demyx. His head rested on the larger boy's chest and his arm was thrown comfortably across his stomach.

"Yeah."

"Did you draw it?"

"Yeah."

"It's… I…" Roxas tried to find a way to tell the musician exactly how much this meant to him. "It's the best present anyone's ever given me."

"Really?"

"Well, there was the one time I got a pogo stick, but then, nothing's ever gonna beat that."

"Heh. Fair enough." Demyx grinned. "But this is as good as the pogo stick, right?"

"Yeah. Now stay there. I'll get your present." Roxas instructed, getting out of bed to rummage around in the bag he had brought with him. "Here. It's nowhere near as good as yours."

Demyx took the rectangular box from him and mimicked his earlier inspection, turning it over in his hands and rattling it, listening intently. Smiling at Roxas's impatient face, he opened it. "Roxas…"

"You like it?" His boyfriend asked innocently. Demyx turned the strip of leather over in his hands, taking hold of the small metal tag that was attached. It was shaped like a heart and had his name engraved on it.

"I love it." He grinned, leaning forward to kiss Roxas. "Help me try it on." He handed the leather collar to the smaller boy and let him fasten it around his neck. It fit snugly, but not too tightly, although the metal tag was cold against his skin. "What do you think?" Demyx asked, stretching seductively and putting his arms around Roxas's neck.

"I think you look delicious." The blonde replied, pulling him closer so that he could bury his face in the musician's neck, licking and nuzzling and biting.

Sighing with contentment, Demyx settled into his boyfriend's lap and let his hands wander downwards. "So does this make me your slave?"

"Mmm." Was the muffled response.

When they finally got around to doing their physics project, both boys were exhausted and covered with a thin layer of sweat. And, it turned out, homework _is_ easier when you do it naked, or at least a lot more fun.


	16. Happy New Year

**A/N: **I'm sorry this chapter is late. Fanfic isn't letting me add documents. I'm not the only person having this problem, and if it's happening to you, here's how to get around it. Go to stories, select one (it doesn't matter which), go to contents/chapters and export any chapter (click exp) - this sends a copy of it to Documents. Then you can delete the content, paste the content of the new chapter and add the document as the new chapter. So... this chapter ends up looking like a series of drabbles as we get a look into everyone's Christmas. Meet Death, the new character and find out the truth about Yuna.

* * *

Staring up at the festive decorations that covered the ceiling, Roxas wondered why the person who'd come to put them up hadn't cleared away the flowers on his brother's bedside table, which were rapidly turning into compost. It seemed unthinkable that someone had had the time to come in and staple mistletoe to the ceiling, drape tinsel over the chair in a parody of festivity, and yet fail to notice the decomposing remnants of bouquets sent in sympathy so many months ago. The stench was even overpowering the sickly-sweet hospital smell, for fuck's sake.

"Why don't you get rid of them?" He asked Kairi, who had come with him to visit Sora on Christmas day.

"I like them." She replied simply. "Remember the time we set fire to your mum's compost heap?"

Roxas had forgotten that particular occasion from their childhood, but he remembered when he cast his mind back. "Riku wanted to pour petrol on it to make it – how did he put it? More flamey-er. If you hadn't talked him out if it, we'd all have ended up with third degree burns."

"What about the time you and Sora went around the garden collecting 'empty' snail shells in a bucket?" Kairi asked.

"We didn't know the snails were just hiding." Roxas protested. "At least none of them managed to escape before we found out."

The raven-haired girl reached forward to stroke Sora's hair. She and Roxas sat on either side of the comatose boy. "You remember too, right Sora?"

"He can't hear you." Roxas told her.

"How do you know?" She asked. "What if he can hear every word we say? He probably feels left out."

"You really believe that?"

"Yeah. Don't you ever just sit here and talk to him?" Kairi asked. "Even if he can't hear, it feels good to be able to tell someone. Get it off my chest."

"I never thought of it like that." Roxas replied softly, looking at his brother's face. He looked just like he was sleeping. Or recently dead.

"Try it." Kairi suggested. "Tell him about Demyx. He'd love to know you've found someone."

"What if he doesn't approve?" The blonde asked doubtfully. A half-raised eyebrow was Kairi's only response. "OK. Um." He swallowed nervously. "Hey Sora. It's me. Roxas. Yeah, you probably knew that, if you were listening to our conversation, but anyway…" Looking up at Kairi, he saw her nod encouragingly. "I have a boyfriend now. I bet you never guessed I was gay, did you? I didn't really know until… his name's Demyx. I think you'd like him. You like everyone."

His initial uncertainty was fading away as he sat up straighter and told Sora all about his year so far. "I've made friends at my new school. Rikku's really hyperactive, like when you eat blue Smarties only worse, and she's like it all the time. Paine's this really scary looking goth, but it's like she knows everything about you just from looking at you. Yuffie's her girlfriend. She's from Japan, and she's like, a black belt at Karate. Yuna's the nicest person I've ever met. Apart from you, of course."

Over the next hour, he poured his heart about everything from Axel and Zexion to how their parents had become stricter recently, as if they were scared that they'd lose their only remaining son. As he talked, the realisation of what he'd been missing these past 15 or so months hit him. Sora had been more than a partner in crime, he'd been a confidant, someone he could talk to about things he'd never tell his friends. The older boy had never judged him, he'd just listened quietly, making sounds of encouragement when needed. Roxas had never truly appreciated how lucky he was to have Sora as a brother. _You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone_, he reflected sadly, wishing, not for the first time, that he could have his brother back.

* * *

Lying on his bed, listlessly playing the same chord over and over, Demyx stared at the map of the stars blu-tacked to his ceiling and wished that, just once, his parents would celebrate Christmas with him. As the son of a pair of scientists and devout atheists, he was probably the only kid in the country who didn't know what Christmas was until age 4, when he'd started school. Every year, his friends had come back in January after the holidays, comparing the presents they'd got from Father Christmas, and Demyx had wondered what'd he'd done wrong. His parents had explained to him that Father Christmas didn't exist, but that still didn't explain why the other children got presents and not him. When he was old enough to understand, it still didn't fill the empty void that opened up inside him on the 25th of December every year. 

Fingering the leather collar that he still wore around his neck, the musician wished that Roxas were lying next to him. That would be the best Christmas present ever.

* * *

Finger on the pause button of the remote, Rikku waited for her dad to finish his phone call so that they could get on with their yearly tradition of watching The Great Escape after Christmas lunch. This was the first year in a while that they'd actually done it on Christmas day, Cid usually being busy around this time of year. 

A glass of brandy sat on the coffee table by her feet. That was her dad's. She wasn't allowed alcohol because it made her even more hyper than usual. The glass next to it was filled with orange juice for Rikku. Another Christmas tradition, that they'd being doing since she was a little girl, in the days when Cid was actually home at Christmas.

"Hey, Ri." Cid said, coming back into the room. By the apologetic tone of his voice, she could tell that she wasn't going to like what she was about to hear. "I'm really sorry, but I gotta go."

"Oh." The blonde's face fell.

"They need me out in Iraq tomorrow mornin', Ri. There was a storm or summin… I dunno." Cid shrugged helplessly. "Sorry."

"That's OK Dad." Rikku said quietly. When her dad leaned down to hug her, she wrapped her arms around him tightly, breathing in the smell of stale smoke.

"Phone yer uncle Auron if ya need anythin', he'll be over soon as 'e can." Cid told her, grabbing his leather jacket and keys. "Merry Chris'mas, Ri. Sorry I couldn' be here fer all of it."

"Merry Christmas, Dad." Rikku sighed as the front door slammed, feeling anything but merry.

* * *

Glass of wine in hand, Yuna watched her baby brother throw up all over her mum and took a deep sip of her drink. So this was what it was like to be a grown-up. It didn't really seem worth it. Knowing that she was being selfish and hating herself for it, Yuna wished that her parents still saw her as a child. The new baby's arrival had changed everything. Suddenly, she was being pushed aside, told that she was an adult now and forced to watch her brother get all the attention that had once been hers. 

It wasn't that she didn't love him. She couldn't really feel much for a little bundle of clothes that threw up on her occasionally. When he was a couple of years old, he'd probably be her favourite person in the world.

The problem was that his arrival made her parents change their perception of her. Now that there was a real child in the house, they realised that their baby girl had grown into a young woman. But Yuna was only sixteen. She wasn't ready to grow up yet.

When the phone rang she got up to answer it. Her parents were far too preoccupied with the screaming child to answer it themselves, and after watching him throw up, Yuna didn't feel like finishing her dinner.

"Hello?"

"Yunie?" The voice on the other end was so small and pathetic that the brunette almost didn't recognise it.

"Rikku? Are you OK?"

"Yeah… well, not really. You?"

"About the same." Yuna replied sadly.

"Wanna come over?" Rikku offered. "I've got chocolate popcorn and if you're not here to eat it, I'll get hyper."

Yuna looked through the doorway at the family spending their first Christmas together. The three of them were like a portrait for an ideal family. Having a teenage daughter around would probably spoil the effect.

"Try to hold off the popcorn 'til I get there."

* * *

Growling in irritation, Paine got off her bed, threw open her bedroom door and shouted, "Keep the fucking noise down!" Letting the door slam by itself, she threw herself back onto the bed and tried to concentrate on her History revision. The sound of gunfire could be heard from downstairs, which meant that they must have turned the sound up as far as it would go, just to spite her. Rubbing her eyes and sighing wearily, Paine picked up her textbook and read the same sentence about the storming of the Bastille for the seventh time, still not processing what it actually said. 

"Grumpy." Fuu said as she lay on her stomach, stuffing her face with mince pies and watching the guys sneak through the deserted school, blasting the hell out of the mutant creatures things as they went. All three of them were wearing the paper hats you get in Christmas crackers.

"She's always grumpy." Zexion replied, searching the room for healing items. He could feel his character's heartbeat through the PS2 controller, an indication that he was close to death.

"Fuu could go up there and cheer her up." Axel suggested. His character was watching the door in case they were ambushed by the mutant creatures. "I'll film it and sell it on the internet."

"OK, you know what?" Zexion said as Fuu threw the empty mince pie box at Axel's head, "You deserve this." He aimed his gun at the redhead's character and fired, sending him sprawling on the ground with blood spattered around.

"Hey! Traitor!" Axel protested.

"Pervert." Fuu said in disgust, reaching for the redhead's controller. "My turn."

As Axel surrendered his controller to the emo girl, they heard Paine coming downstairs. She appeared in the doorway, wearing a coat and carrying a shoulder bag.

"I'm going out." She told Zexion. "Don't let Axel burn the house down."

* * *

When Demyx heard the knock on his door, he half expected it to be Roxas, so he was surprised when he opened the door to see Paine standing on his doorstep. 

"Whatcha doing here, gothy lady?" He asked, stepping aside to let her in.

"I killed Zexion and now I need a safe place to lay low for a while." She replied, sitting on the edge of the bed to take off her boots.

"Did you stake him through the heart, coz if not he'll just get back up again."

"Of course."

The musician moved over to the bed and sat down next to her. "What's in the bag?" He asked, trying to peer inside.

"Makeup, chocolate, Pokemon cards, Eeyore and a vampire movie."

"Eeyore?"

"He hates Christmas too." Paine said, pulling the stuffed donkey out of the bag. "Now are you gonna hold still and let me give you a makeover, or are you gonna end up looking like a panda?"

"You're crazy, you know that right?" Demyx asked, reaching out to sake Eeyore's paw. "Nice to meet you."

As bizarre and random as Paine's arrival was, he was glad that she'd come over. In past years he hadn't had friends to shake him out of his gloomy mood, so he had quickly descended into depression. The goth was rapidly becoming the big sister he'd always wished he had, which was a little strange when you considered the fact that he was older than her. It made a little more sense to see her as the big sister of Demyx's inner female.

Thankful that inner monologues were internal and couldn't be heard by anyone else, Demyx closed his eyes and allowed Paine to turn him into the panda.

* * *

"Paine, did you spike the fruit punch?" Roxas asked, walking into the kitchen with a blonde girl clinging to his back. It was New Year's Eve and everyone but Yuffie was already at Paine's house. 

"No, but that isn't a bad idea." The goth mused. "Rikku, go to Zexion's room and look under his bed for alcohol."

"Ew, no way!" The blonde protested, letting go of Roxas's neck. "He probably keeps dirty magazines under there!"

"I'll go." Roxas offered. "I'm immune to naked women."

The doorbell rang and Rikku dashed off to answer it as Roxas went upstairs to find out which room belonged to Zexion. It wasn't too hard to figure out – the sign on the door that proclaimed "Beware Of The Emo" was a big enough clue.

"It's Yuffie!" Rikku called, dragging the Japanese girl into the kitchen. "And she's got a box that goes meow." Having made this announcement, the blonde skipped away to find someone else to cling to.

"What?" Paine turned to see Yuffie holding a pet carrier with bars on the front so that you could see inside. A tiny grey nose poked through the bars at her. When she moved closer and stuck her finger through the bars, the nose drew sharply back then cautiously moved forward again to sniff the finger. "Hello." The goth said softly.

"I called her Death." Yuffie spoke up, putting the carrier down on the nearest surface and opening the door at the front. "You can change her name if you want, but I thought you'd probably want to stick with Death."

A little black kitten walked daintily out of the carrier and blinked at Paine. "Meow." It said indignantly.

"Yeah, I'd be pissed off too, if she locked me in a cage." Paine replied, reaching out a hand and stroking the kitten's head. "Paine and Death, partners in crime. Has a nice ring to it." Death purred happily and slinked off to explore her new home. Paine watched her poke a paw underneath the fridge. "Why is there a kitten in my kitchen?" She asked Yuffie.

"Her mother lives next door to me. She was the only one left from the litter and they said that if they didn't get rid of her, she'd have to be put down."

"So you thought you'd offload her on me."

"Yeah." Yuffie grinned, unperturbed. "So you don't get lonely when I'm not around."

"Zexion's gonna freak. He hates animals." The goth smiled. "We're gonna have so much fun."

They followed Death through the hall into the living room. Yuna and Rikku occupied the biggest sofa and Demyx was spread out over the rug next to the fire, wearing leather trousers, a tank top and the earrings that Paine and Yuffie had given him.

"Where'd Roxas go?" The musician asked.

"Upstairs, looking for booze." Paine told him. As he got to his feet and went to look for his boyfriend, Yuna noticed the black kitten and crawled over to meet her.

"Hi. I'm Yuna." She said, crouching down on all fours and resting her head in her hands. "What's your name?"

Death sniffed her with curiosity. Deciding that Yuna was worth her attention, she rubbed her head against the brunette, purring loudly. "Meow."

"That's an interesting name." Yuna replied, tickling the kitten under the chin. "But I meant your human name, not your cat name."

"Yuffie called her Death." Paine said from across the room where she'd settled into an armchair. The Japanese girl rested on the arm of the chair, playing with strands of silver hair.

"Death? That's a big scary name for such a little tiny kitty." Yuna picked the kitten up and carried her back to the sofa. The loud purring gradually died down into a soft snore as Death settled down on her lap and went to sleep. When Rikku started playing with her tail, the cat didn't even notice.

"Are Roxas and Demyx still upstairs?" The blonde wondered. "They should be back by now."

* * *

Roxas had been on his hands and knees on the floor of Zexion's room, searching under the bed for alcohol. He found a big bottle of cider and a smaller bottle of rum and was about to take them and leave when someone smacked his arse. 

"Hi Demyx." He said without looking up. As he stood, he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist and warm breath next to his ear.

"You know whose bedroom this is, right?" The musician whispered, reaching around to undo the younger boy's belt.

"Yeah, it's Zexion's." Roxas replied. "Oh no, we are not doing that here!"

"Why not?" Demyx asked, turning the blonde around to face him and pulling his t-shirt over his head.

"Because it's Zexion's room." Roxas protested, holding back the musician's hands as he tried to pull down his trousers.

"Your point?"

"Imagine how pissed off he'd be if he found out we had hot wild sex on his bed."

"But he's not gonna know. We'll know. And then we can laugh at him behind his back." Demyx slipped a hand inside Roxas's jeans.

"You're just a kinky little slut, aren't you?" Roxas said as he allowed himself to be pushed backwards onto the bed.

"You love it." The grinned as he rid himself of the rest of his clothing.

"I hope you don't think I'm gonna let you be on top." The blonde warned as he flipped Demyx over and straddled him.

* * *

"You took your time." Paine commented as the boys came back half an hour later. 

"It was harder to find than we thought." Demyx replied casually, placing the bottles on a table and laying back down on the rug.

"We had to look for it twice." Roxas added, following him into the room in a daze, hair ruffled and wearing his t-shirt backwards. He joined his boyfriend on the rug, resting his head on Demyx's chest. Opening one eye, Death decided that the fire looked like a nice place to curl up by, and she left Yuna's lap in order to climb on top of Roxas.

"Why's there a cat on my face?" The blonde asked, trying to move away from the paw that rested on his chin. The claws were retracted, but he knew they could come out at any second. Death purred loudly into his chest.

"She likes you." Yuna told him.

"She's gonna eat me. I can tell."

"Don't be silly." Demyx murmured sleepily from underneath him. "She's not big enough to eat all of you. Maybe just an arm or a leg."

Death stretched contentedly, placing her paw further up Roxas's face. "That's comforting." He mumbled, trying to speak through the paw that covered his mouth.

"So Paine, are you gonna spike the fruit punch?" Rikku asked, reaching for the cider.

"And have you bouncing off the walls?" The goth said, taking it off her and passing it to Yuffie.

"Aw, you never let me drink!" The blonde pouted.

"Because last time I gave you vodka and coke, you took off your bra and wore it as a hat."

"That was ages ago! I'm not gonna do it again! Come on, I'm nearly seventeen!"

"OK. One drink." Paine sighed, pouring the cider into a glass. "But just one." She could tell that this was a bad idea.

* * *

"Five minutes to midnight!" Rikku shouted. She had turned herself upside down so that her head rested on the floor and her legs draped over the back of the sofa. Red and blue tribal markings were drawn on her arms in permanent marker and there were thick black smudges on her cheeks where's she'd drawn hearts with Paine's eyebrow pencil. 

"We know." Demyx moaned. She'd been counting down since 11 o clock, after her initial period of hyperactivity had died down and she'd decided that forcing all the blood to flow downwards into her brain would make her more intelligent.

"Fuck fuck fuck shit!" Roxas swore, frantically trying to keep up with the chords that rushed past on the screen. "I don't have enough fingers for this!"

"You should have chosen easy mode." Paine told him as a message appeared on the screen, telling him that he failed. "Give it here."

"Well, it helps if you actually know how to play the guitar." Roxas pouted as he relinquished control of the guitar. Paine had experience playing bass. Sticking her tongue out at him, the goth scrolled through the list of songs and chose Killer Queen.

"I still love you, even if you suck at Guitar Hero." Demyx reassured the blonde, pulling him onto the armchair that they'd moved to once the floor had become too uncomfortable.

"Four minutes to midnight! My head feels funny."

"Someone rescue Rikku before she actually becomes intelligent." Paine said as she played the song with ease, racking up a perfect score. Yuna grabbed one arm, Yuffie grabbed the other and together they managed to pull the blonde upright.

Rikku pressed her hands to the sides of her head, which had turned bright red. "That was awesome." She decided.

"It obviously didn't work then." Paine joked, ducking as a cushion was thrown at her head and yet managing not to miss a single note.

Demyx reached for the bottle of rum on the table beside him and realised that it was empty. "Why is the-"

"Don't say it." Roxas warned, sensing the impending Pirates of the Caribbean quote. He distracted the musician with a kiss, which was rudely interrupted when Death jumped into his lap. "What do you have against me?" He asked the kitten.

"Cats are innately drawn towards cat-haters." The goth told him as she reached the guitar solo.

"I'm not a cat-hater. I just object to being treated like a piece of furniture." Roxas objected, trying to persuade the kitten to get off his lap. "Go annoy someone else, you monster."

"Three minutes to midnight! And how do you know it didn't work? I might be more intelligent."

"What's 293 multiplied by 359?" Yuffie asked.

"Um… OK, so that's like 300 times 350… which is… 9 and a lot of zeroes… plus 15 and a lot of zeroes… um…"

"105187." Yuna said three seconds later. Everyone apart from Paine, who was intent on getting a perfect score, and Death, who was rubbing her head against Demyx's hand, turned to stare at her. "What?"

"Yunie's a cyborg." Rikku explained. "I forgot you could do that."

"Why don't you do maths?" Roxas asked.

"Just 'cause I can multiply things in my head doesn't mean I can understand complex equations." The brunette shrugged. "I got a C on my maths GCSE."

"Ask me something else!" Rikku insisted. "Just coz I haven't got better at maths doesn't mean I'm not intelligent in some other way."

"OK, here's a more spiritual question." Paine asked as the song finished and the words YOU ROCK! appeared on the screen. "What's the meaning of life?"

"Um… I know this one. Is it 42?" Rikku asked, scrunching up her face and biting her lip.

"No, that's Life, the Universe and Everything." Yuna pointed out.

"OK, OK… the meaning of life is… chocolate!" Rikku announced, throwing her arms up into the air.

"Good enough." Paine put the guitar down and picked up the kitten from Roxas's lap. "Come on." She said, "He doesn't appreciate your love."

"One minute to midnight!" Rikku announced.

"What happened to two minutes?" Yuna asked.

"I was distracted."

Paine settled onto the smaller sofa with the kitten in her lap and Yuffie snuggling up to her. Demyx sat with his arms around Roxas in one of the armchairs and Rikku and Yuna shared the bigger sofa, resting their heads on the arms at the ends so that their feet met in the middle.

"You have alien toes." The blonde told her friend. The second toe on each of Yuna's feet was freakishly long, so that it stuck up above all of the others, including the big toe.

"Make up your mind. Am I a cyborg or an alien?" Yuna asked sleepily.

"A cyborg from outer space." Rikku replied. "Ten seconds to midnight."

There was silence as the others counted down in their heads.

"Happy New Year." Demyx whispered softly into Roxas's ear.

"Happy New Year." He replied, leaning back and nuzzling the musician's cheek.

"Happy New Year, Rikku." Yuna yawned.

"Happy New Year, alien cyborg girl."

"Happy New Year, kitten." Yuffie murmured into Paine's hair. When the goth didn't respond, everyone turned to look at her expectantly.

"I'm not saying it." She insisted. "You're a bunch of dorks, all of you."

"Meow." Death said, stretching in her lap.

Paine sighed. "Happy New Year to you too, Death."

* * *

**A/N: **That's right. She's an alien cyborg. Her freaky toes were inspired by my own. I get holes in my socks because the second toe on each foot is way too long. Life is hard. 


	17. Safety Net

**A/N: **OK, when you get to the first bit from Paine's point of view, either play One Winged Angel (if you have it) or imagine the music in your mind. You can find it on MySpace if you look in the right place. And for those who've seen Advent Children - remember the bit when Kadaj turns into Sephiroth and he's all like "Hello, Cloud." - he uses the same smug, evil face and tone of voice when speaking to Paine. Also in this chapter, we see the return of Paine's blog. It wasn't in the original plan, but I do so love writing her monologues, and I thought she'd want to write one after seeing her father. Besides, it leads nicely on to the final bit of this chapter, which just happens to be a cliff hanger. Sorry folks!

* * *

Whenever Roxas entered his maths classroom, a sharp feeling of dread would hit him in the back of his neck. Sitting at his desk for an hour, sometimes two, listening to his teacher spout incomprehensible nonsense at him and attempting the impossibility of the equations in his textbook… this was the worst kind of torture.

So when he entered the classroom on the day after his exam in January, with a piece of paper that would ensure his freedom, the dread was replaced by relief. Mr Vexen was happy to sign the form, although he said it would be a pity to lose Roxas from his class.

He exited the classroom, left the other students to an hour's torture while he went free, never to return. The realisation that he would never have to endure another maths lesson again caused a smile to creep into Roxas's face.

Since all of his friends had lessons now, he headed towards the library to catch up with some homework. Happy to see that there wasn't a class in there (years seven to nine had library lessons once a fortnight and made a lot of noise), he went straight to the back, where the A level textbooks lived. It didn't take him long to find the Chemistry textbook that he was looking for, and he took it to the table at the front of the library with the comfy chairs. The only person sitting there already was the library assistant, an ex-student who was working here for a year to earn some money.

"Hi Goofy." Roxas whispered. The gangly young man looked up from his book, dreadlocks dangling over his face, and gave him a buck-toothed grin. No one knew his real name, he was always referred to as Goofy, even by the teachers.

"Hey there Roxas. Whatcha doin' here?"

"Homework." The blonde replied, holding up the textbook.

"Good to see yer keepin' up with yer schoolwork." Goofy told him. "You're a good kid, Roxas."

"Thanks." Roxas whispered, giving Goofy a smile and turning to his work. The library assistant was pretty simple minded, but he remembered every student's name and was friendly to them all. Some students played tricks on him or teased him behind his back (Roxas remembered some of the things Axel and Zexion had said), but most people found it hard to dislike him, and would say hello to him when they passed through the library.

"Hey, ain't that yer boyfriend?" Goofy pointed. That was the other thing about Goofy. Deception didn't work on him. He took for granted things that other people overlooked, and yet seemed incapable of holding judgement against anyone.

Roxas followed the long, skinny finger with the dirty fingernail and saw Demyx standing outside the library, face pressed up against the glass of the door. Rolling his eyes, he waved the musician over.

"Why aren't you in Geography?" He whispered as Demyx took a seat at his table.

The musician laughed gently at his expression. "Don't give me that look. I'm not bunking."

"I'm not giving you a look." Roxas objected, rearranging his face so that he didn't look so judgemental.

"We were set loose to do research." Demyx explained. "We have to pick a European country and do a presentation on it."

"Hey, you could do Finland." Goofy suggested, scratching his nose. "I been there last year."

"Didn't they win Eurovision?" Roxas asked.

"Yeah." Demyx mused, remembering Lordi's brief spurt of fame and then realising the significance of Roxas's presence in the library. "Hey, you're here. Does that mean you dropped maths?"

Roxas nodded proudly. "I'm a free man."

"It's about time." The musician said, kissing his cheek briefly. Roxas looked back down at his textbook, embarrassed.

"So, Finland, huh?" Demyx said, turning to Goofy. "You think I should do it for my project?"

Before the buck-toothed man could reply, a short, grouchy old man with spectacles and tufts of white hair sprouting out of his scalp came over to their table.

"No talking in the library!" He scolded in a harsh, scratchy voice that made him sound like a duck quacking.

"Gawrsh, I'm awful sorry Mr McDonald, sir." Goofy apologised hastily. "Me and Roxas and Demyx was just discussin'-"

"No excuses!" Mr McDonald insisted. "And get back to work. Your break's over."

"Sure thing, Mr McDonald." Goofy said enthusiastically.

"And as for you two…" The short-sighted librarian turned towards the boys after Goofy had left. "This isn't the common room. Go somewhere else to talk."

* * *

"Crazy old man." Demyx complained once they had been shooed out. "His nephews run that movie rental shop in town. They say they haven't received a single Christmas or birthday card from him in ten years." 

"He's not very nice to Goofy, is he?" Roxas said thoughtfully. "Why does he put up with it?"

"You know Goofy always sees the best in people." Demyx shrugged. They had reached common room and he typed the code into the door. The common room was less crowded than usual, with some students on study leave for their exams, so they managed to spread themselves over several chairs.

"What are you doing tonight?" The musician asked hopefully. "Wanna come over?"

"Can't." Roxas said apologetically. "It's Wednesday, remember?"

"Oh. Right." Roxas's parents had established two days a week family time, in which Roxas had to be home on time and sit down with them for a family meal.

"Sorry." The blonde said, squeezing Demyx's hand briefly. "I'll come over tomorrow."

The musician thought carefully about what he was going to say next. "Have you thought about…"

"Have I thought about what?" Roxas asked.

"Never mind."

"Demyx!"

"Have you thought about telling your parents about me?"

Roxas frowned. "You mean coming out to them."

"Well… yeah."

"I told you before, they won't react well."

"So you're gonna keep it a secret forever?" Demyx asked quietly.

The blonde sighed. "No, not forever. Maybe when I go to uni. Then there's nothing they can do about it."

Demyx fiddled with a pencil that he'd found underneath his chair. "What's the worst they could do?"

Grabbing the pencil from him, Roxas threw it across the room. "They could throw me out of the house."

"You really think they'd do that?"

"They did last time, remember?"

"Roxas, they let you back in after one night."

"That doesn't mean they'd let me back in the second time!" Roxas took a deep breath, trying not to get angry. He reminded himself that Demyx was fully justified in feeling the way he did. "And even if they do, that's not the point. They're my parents. I don't want to make them hate me."

"Even if it means lying to them?"

"I'm not lying to them!" The younger boy protested.

"OK, fine. Forget it." Demyx sighed. "I shouldn't have mentioned it."

Roxas didn't really want to drop the issue. If Demyx didn't like the situation, they should discuss it until they came up with a solution, but he knew it wasn't that simple. There wasn't an easy solution to his problem, and further discussion would only lead to argument.

"OK." He agreed, but Demyx didn't look happy. Putting a hand to the older boy's cheek, he stroked it gently, trying to console his boyfriend. "I love you."

Leaning into the hand, Demyx closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "I know. I love you too."

* * *

Nervously holding out her arms, Paine allowed herself to be searched. A prison officer patted her down quickly but thoroughly and, satisfied that she wasn't concealing anything, motioned for her to follow him. 

The visiting room reminded her of a classroom at school, full of people who didn't really want to be there, sitting on hard plastic chairs around tables covered in graffiti. Even the couple of guards positioned around the room reminded her of teachers, watching the prisoners and their visitors with distrust.

Sephiroth was waiting for her at a table, handcuffed, and Paine was escorted towards him. His expression was unreadable; she couldn't tell whether he was pleased to see her. She sat down and matched his gaze, waiting for him to be the first to speak.

"Hello, Paine." He said eventually in a low, dark, almost threatening voice. "How's school?"

"Fine." The goth replied curtly. "How's prison?"

"Fine." Her father echoed.

Another silence, during which Paine tried to read her father's expression without looking too deeply into those catlike green eyes.

"Is something bothering you, Paine?"

The goth ignored her father's question. He was taunting her, trying to draw out a reaction. She wasn't prepared to give him the satisfaction. Conversation with Sephiroth had always been a dangerous game.

"I see Zexion isn't with you." Sephiroth continued, as if she hadn't disregarded his previous question.

"He doesn't want to see you." Paine told him coldly.

"He is ashamed of me?" Sephiroth asked, daring her to show her anger.

"Something like that."

"What do you think of me, Paine? Are you ashamed of me?"

Staring at the silver haired man before her, Paine spoke without emotion. "I hate you."

Taking a moment to process this information, Sephiroth blinked slowly, then began to laugh, a slow, deep, menacing chuckle that was devoid of mirth. "Haven't you always?"

Paine was slightly taken aback by this reaction. "Is that what you believe? That I've always hated you?"

"You won't admit it?"

She couldn't tell him how she really felt. That for years, since her mother's death, she'd wanted nothing but his attention, his praise, his approval. His "business" had never been a secret, although he'd been careful to make sure neither of his children got involved in drugs or drug dealing. Still, Paine had admired his inexpressiveness, his calculating manner, his intolerance of fools. Despite his coldness towards her, she had never hated him. They'd never been close, but he'd looked after her, protected her from harm. Until now. He'd done the unthinkable, something she could never forgive him for, and in the process he'd put all of them in danger and landed himself in prison. Her father was a murderer, and for that she could no longer respect him.

"You have no right to assume that you know me." She told him.

"I'm your father." He replied, challenging her.

"I never had a choice in that matter." Paine retorted.

Sephiroth's voice took on a more hostile tone. "You would choose another to be your father? After all that I've done for you?"

"You dare to insinuate that you care for me? That you have my best interests at heart? Were you thinking of me when you stabbed that man through the chest?" Paine's voice rose as she spoke and she stopped, realising that she'd given him the response he was looking for. The satisfaction on his face confirmed this.

"Finally, your true feelings. I grow weary of that mask of yours." He was referring to the blank, passive expression that she always wore when trying to conceal her thoughts or emotion.

"I am not the only one wearing a mask." Paine countered. "Unless you expect me to believe that you truly don't care about the situation you're in."

This elicited a slow, arrogant smirk from her father. "Believe what you want. I have the… situation… under control."

Now what was he hiding? Paine was tired of this poker game, this battle of wits. She stood up to leave.

"Give Zexion my regards." Sephiroth said. Paine sat back down again. Damn him. He couldn't let it go, could he? Might as well give him what he wanted.

"You want to know how I really feel?" She hissed. "I feel abandoned. Betrayed. I deserve a loving father. So does Zexion. I wish you had been the one who died all those years ago. I wish Mum was still alive. I wish she'd taken Zexion and left, when she was still pregnant with me. She was blinded by her love by you, couldn't see you as the evil that you really are."

Sephiroth's arrogant, smiling face was blurred by her tears. "Paine. You hurt me." He said.

"Get used to it." Paine retorted, walking away for real this time. Although it was clear that she'd lost the game, she couldn't help but feel that she'd won something more complicated, and much more important.

Sephiroth was left at his table, musing over the encounter. "She's changed." He said softly, expression unreadable, before the prison officer came to escort him back to his cell.

* * *

Dinner with his parents hadn't been that bad. They'd talked about school, his mum hadn't been too angry about him dropping maths and his dad was no longer pressuring him to bring one of the girls home for dinner sometime. It seemed that they were finally accepting him and the fact that he was different from Sora. Perhaps, Roxas reflected sadly, they had come to terms with Sora's fate. 

The phone rang and he stretched to reach the handset on the bedside table. "Hello?"

"Hi Roxas."

"Kairi! Hi."

"Your voice sounds weird on the phone." The older girl giggled.

"So does yours." Roxas replied, wondering why she had called him.

"How were your exams?" Kairi asked. So that was why. It hadn't really occurred to Roxas that they'd become closer now that Kairi wasn't spending all of her time with Sora. In the past, she would never have phoned just to talk specifically to him.

"Biology and Chemistry were OK. I think Physics went well. And, well, I was never gonna do well in Maths, was I?"

"I don't know." Kairi's voice was thoughtful. "You can do anything once you put your mind to it."

Roxas wasn't in the mood for the older girl's optimism. "Well, I dropped it today."

"If you think that's the best thing to do, then I'm happy for you." Kairi told him.

"It's hard to be in a bad mood when I talk to you." Roxas said.

"Were you in a bad mood?" Kairi asked, concerned.

"I guess so."

"Why?"

"Demyx and I almost had an argument today." He sighed. "Kairi…"

"Yes?"

"How do you think my parents would react if I told them I'm gay?"

There was a pause. "I don't know."

"Be honest. Tell me what you think." Roxas urged. Kairi knew his parents as well as anyone. He had to know what she thought.

"I-I guess they wouldn't like the idea at first. But I know they love you, Roxas."

"You think I should tell them too, don't you?"

"Is this what you and Demyx argued about?" Kairi asked hesitantly.

"Demyx wants me to be open about our relationship."

"What about you? What do you think?"

Roxas realised he was biting his fingernail, and stopped. "I… it's important to me. If I knew they'd accept it, I'd come out straight away."

He heard Kairi sigh from the other side of the phone. "You want my advice?"

"Yeah, I want your advice." He assured her.

"Well, you won't know how they'll react until you tell them. You have to decide what's more important – your relationship with Demyx or your relationship with your parents."

"I don't know which is more important."

"You love Demyx, right?" Kairi asked.

"Yes."

"Can you see your relationship lasting? Do you want to be with him ten years from now, or twenty?"

He hadn't really thought of that. "Yeah, I guess so."

"So tell them. Even if you and Demyx aren't meant to be, you'll still be gay. You can't hide that from them forever."

"You know what, Kairi." Roxas sighed.

"What?"

You're right."

"Thank you."

"But that doesn't mean I have to like it." He said.

Kairi laughed. "Good to know I'm appreciated."

"I have to hang up on you now." Roxas warned.

"So you're going to tell them?"

He pushed the button on the front of the phone, put it down on his bedside table and went downstairs to talk to his parents.

* * *

Paine read over her blog entries for the past few months. There was a period of dark reflection that marked the time after her father's arrest, when she had started self-harming again. This suddenly ended on the day when Yuffie came to cheer her up – the entry for that evening was a short story about a human who fell in love with a mermaid. Since then, she hadn't written in her blog very often. There was a silly poem about Death (who was currently stalking Paine's feet under the computer desk) and a couple of short monologues about life, but their tone had changed lately. 

Pushing her hair back from her face (it had been growing longer recently), Paine cracked her knuckles and started to write.

_Some people believed that they are constantly being watched. This conviction, whether religious or paranoid, is invariably correct. From the day you are born, your parents watch over you, keeping you safe from harm and seeing that you grow to fit their standards._

_Of course, your parents will not be there forever. It is common for children to feel betrayed when their parents split up, or leave home, or die. The protection that was always there, taken for granted, has been removed. You must fend for yourself now, and isn't life just so unfair? _

_Such is the way of adulthood. For some it is overwhelming and measures are taken to remove all responsibility from themselves. Drugs, alcohol, self-harm, even suicide seem like easy ways out. Some people even turn to religion for answers. _

_Very few realise that they are still being watched, every day, by friends and strangers. The only way to get that safety net back is to find the people who are watching you. Only by sticking together can you survive this thing called life. _

_You are not alone in this world until you allow yourself to be.

* * *

_

Settling down on his bed, duvet and pillow arranged comfortably around him, Demyx sipped his cocoa carefully and settled down to watch a movie. It was a pity that Roxas couldn't be here with him. The bed was only just about big enough for two, and they would have had to lay cuddled together.

He could hear the wind outside, lashing the rain against the side of the house, and was glad to be safely inside. Just as he was about to press play, there was a knock at the door. Grumbling quietly to himself, Demyx got out of his comfy nest and opened the door.

Standing outside, drenched by the rain and shivering with cold was a very miserable Roxas, clutching his backpack and looking up at Demyx pathetically through a curtain of soaked blonde hair.


	18. Death's In Love With Us

**A/N: **I hope you enjoy cliffhangers, coz this chapter also ends in one. Do not fear, I shall update as swifty as ever. This chapter is a little shorter than the one's I've been churning out recently. I was thinking of sticking this one and the next one together as one chapter, but then that would spoil the suspense. I suppose I should warn you that there's lots of mindless fluff in this chapter, as well as much angst for poor Zexion. PS, look out for a reference to Axel's Organisation XIII title.

* * *

"Demyx?" The blonde on his doorstep sniffled. He looked so pathetic that something inside the musician, some protective instinct, wanted to track down whoever had made him this miserable and kill them.

"Roxas…" He held out a hand to the younger boy and pulled him inside, not caring that he was dripping all over the carpet. Wrapping his arms around the blonde, Demyx held him tightly, feeling the water seep into the old t-shirt and jogging bottoms that he wore to bed in the colder months.

"Demyx." The younger boy whimpered into his chest, digging his fingers into the musician's hair and clutching the mess of dirty blonde strands tightly. He pressed himself into Demyx as if trying to fuse with him, seeking comfort.

"You're all wet and cold." Demyx pointed out intelligently. His arms were around Roxas's waist and he could feel him shivering under his touch.

"It's raining." The blonde replied, teeth chattering. The musician decided that he must be in shock, otherwise he'd have taken this opportunity to make a sarcastic comment.

"Come with me." He said, gently leading Roxas towards his en-suite bathroom, where he sat him down on the toilet seat while he ran him a hot bath. After a brief search through the cluttered cabinet, he found some scented bubble bath (a present from his aunt, unopened) and poured it into the stream of hot water that flowed from the tap.

A hand was placed on his shoulder and he turned away from the bath and dropped to his knees to put his arms around the boy who meant everything in the world to him. They held each other until the bath was almost full of steaming, foamy water, and Demyx reached down to turn off the tap. Turning back to his boyfriend, he kissed his nose lightly and pulled his t-shirt over his head.

"Time to get naked, love." He said, tickling the blonde's stomach with one hand as he stood. Roxas responded with a faint smile as he started to undo his belt. Leaving him to it, Demyx went back to his bedroom to fetch his mug of cocoa and make another one for the younger boy, wondering what could have happened to make him turn up on his doorstep like this. Roxas was obviously upset about something, but he'd been fine earlier in the day. Well, there had been that almost-argument, but it was Demyx who'd upset him, and if it was _him_ that the blonde was upset by, why would he have turned up at his house and sought comfort from him?

OK, now his brain hurt. Deciding that Roxas was perfectly capable of undressing and climbing into a bath in the time he'd been given, the musician ventured back into the bathroom. The younger boy was reclining in the tub, head tilted backwards, hands resting on the sides, eyes closed, the epitome of relaxation. And, as it so happened, sexiness.

Demyx bent down to pick the clothes up off the floor, fold them in an approximation of neatness and place them on the toilet seat. When he turned back to Roxas, he saw that the blonde had opened one eye and was watching him.

Kneeling on the floor next to the bathtub, the musician trailed one hand through the floor and splashed his boyfriend gently. "Enjoying your bath?"

"Well…" Roxas grabbed his hand, brought it up to his mouth and kissed it lightly. "It's a nice bath, but there's something missing."

Trying to form intelligent sentences while a sexy, naked blonde is slowly running his tongue along your index finger is difficult, but when he puts it into his mouth and sucks it, there's no possibility of coherence.

"Um… wha… heh… stoppit." Demyx giggled, retracting his finger from the younger boy's mouth and using it to stroke his cheek. "What's missing?"

"You forgot to add the Demyx." Roxas pouted.

"Oh. Well, let me sort that out for you." The musician grinned and stood up, removing his leather collar carefully before yanking the t-shirt over his head. Before he could get rid of the jogging bottoms, however, a hand had lazily curled itself around his leg and pulled him backwards into the water.

"Too slow." Roxas sighed happily and wrapped himself around Demyx, nestling his chin into the musician's hair. His hands wandered slowly downwards until they slipped below the waistline of Demyx's trousers.

"You could've let me…" The older boy started to protest, then gave up as the hand wrapped around his cock and started stroking it languidly. Being immersed in warm water was making them both sleepy and being naked whilst immersed in warm water with the person they loved was making them both horny.

With his other hand, Roxas found his boyfriend's nipple and started to run his middle finger around it in time with his strokes. Something between a moan and a sigh escaped Demyx's throat as he leaned back into the younger boy's body, feeling something hard against his lower back. He reached down, pulled off the now soaked jogging bottoms and dropped them over the side of the tub. Roxas took this as his cue to slide out from underneath the musician and climb on top of him, pinning down Demyx's wrists as he kissed his chest.

The musician arched his back as Roxas's kisses moved lower down his body. His nipples reacted to the cool air as his chest came up out of the water and droplets slid down his chest towards his stomach, where the blonde chased them across his skin with his tongue. The foam from the bubble bath had gathered up Roxas's end of the bath and found its way into his hair. Finding this amusing, Demyx ran his hand through the wet foamy mess, spiking up the blonde hair so that he looked like a blonde version of Sonic the Hedgehog.

"Cute." He murmured, leaning forwards to kiss his boyfriend's nose. At the last second, Roxas brought his hand out of the water and smushed it over Demyx's face, covering it with foam and giggling madly as he did so. As the musician wiped the foam away from his eyes, the blonde pushed him backwards and kissed him, transferring some of the foam onto himself in the process.

"Bath sex isn't very easy, is it?" Roxas giggled, running a hand down Demyx's chest and nuzzling his cheek as he did so.

"It would be easier if you weren't so childish." The musician complained.

Roxas giggled again and licked the side of his face. "You think it's cute." He teased.

Demyx leaned forward and nipped his ear gently. "Turn around. I'll wash your hair."

"But what about bath sex?" Roxas asked, doing as he was told.

The musician reached for the shampoo, poured a generous amount into his hand and started to work it into the younger boy's hair. "How about post-bath sex?"

He pretended to consider it for a second as he enjoyed his head massage. "OK then."

* * *

Zexion rummaged through one of his desk drawers, searching for something he put there more than a year ago. It had been a birthday present from Axel, and he'd deemed it too good for everyday use and put it away to be used for a special occasion. 

This was about as special as occasions got.

Found it! His pale hand trembled slightly as he removed his clenched fist from the drawer, a small metallic object clutched between his slender fingers. The fist opened to reveal a lighter with a skull motif, batlike wings spread out on either side of the skull.

After studying the lighter for several seconds, Zexion shook his head gently to clear his thoughts and focused on the task at hand. He turned off his bedroom light and lit the ten candles that he'd arranged on his desk, in a semicircle around the blank piece of paper in front of him. One of them refused to light, but after several tries his room was illuminated by a dim, flickering glow. The emo imagined that this was what it was like to be a poet in the days before electricity, taking inspiration from the shadows that danced within the flame.

Taking a fountain pen from its place on the desk, Zexion checked that it had enough ink, and began to write. Behind him, on his bedside table, was an official looking letter, a glass of water and three boxes of paracetamol, piled one on top of the other.

* * *

Sighing in contentment and satisfaction, Demyx lifted his hand from where it rested on his boyfriend's chest and started to trace lazy patterns across the slightly damp skin. The blonde responded by trailing a hand through the musician's damp hair. No longer coaxed into standing on end by a handful of gel, the hair fell in strands over Demyx's face.

Music played quietly in the background. The CD that had happened to be in the machine at the time that Demyx hastily turned it on was reaching the end. Ville Valo's intense, passionate voice encompassed them both in a snug, tranquil cocoon where they rested together and never wanted to get up.

"_We've been slaves to this love_

_From the moment we touched_

_And keep begging for more_

_Of this resurrection"_

"Roxas…" The musician turned onto his side so that he could look up at the younger boy, resting his head on his elbow.

"What's up?" The blonde asked.

"Did something happen?"

Roxas smiled in amusement. "It's called sex. We do it often."

Rolling his eyes, Demyx poked him in the side. "I'm trying to be serious here."

"Sorry." The blonde leaned forward and kissed him briefly. "What do you mean?"

"Did something happen or did you just decide to take a walk at midnight in the pouring rain?"

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Roxas took his hand from the older boy's hair and turned onto his side so that both boys lay facing each other. "You know how you thought it would be a good idea to come out to my parents?"

A sinking feeling in the musician's chest told him that he was going to be made to feel guilty again. "Did you tell them?" He asked tentatively.

"Yeah… they weren't pleased." Roxas caught the look on Demyx's face and stroked his cheek like he'd done earlier in the day. "I don't blame you this time."

That was a blessing. At least Roxas was dealing with it a lot better this time. The thought didn't make Demyx feel any less guilty, though. He shouldn't have pressured the blonde into doing it – Roxas had been right, it wasn't necessary to tell them just yet. He could have waited a year or so… but even if that produced a better outcome, would it have been the right thing to do?

"Did they throw you out?"

"Not as such. They told me to go to my room, said they'd speak to me tomorrow about it. I didn't feel like hanging around."

"You know you can stay here as long as you want, right?" Demyx said, stroking the younger boy's chest with his free hand. He was glad they were close enough that this wouldn't come between them.

"Your parents don't mind?" Roxas asked, biting his lip. He didn't want to piss off Demyx's parents as well as his own.

The musician sighed. "I haven't seen my Dad for days, he's down in his study working on something. Mum knocks on the door twice a day to remind me to eat. I have to make my own meals, so she won't mind feeding you as well." Sometimes he wished he had strict parents like Roxas. It would be better than having parents that cared more about their work than him.

"Well then… I guess we're roomies." The blonde said, slipping his arm around the older boy's waist.

Demyx mirrored him, putting his own arm around Roxas's slightly thicker waist. "I've never had a roommate before."

He found himself being pulled closer to the younger boy and kissed. The kiss lasted for several minutes, as each boy conveyed everything they felt for each other through tongues and teeth and lips. Finally, they pulled away and held each other until they fell asleep.

"_I know it and I feel it  
Just as well as you do, Honey  
It's not our fault if death's in love with us oh oh  
It's not our fault if the reaper holds our hearts"

* * *

_

Zexion felt light headed as he put down and re-read what he'd written. It wasn't perfect; he'd have liked time to draft what he wanted to say, but he couldn't hold on any longer. The letter on his bedside table bored into his mind, whispering to him as he slept, distracting him as he hung out with Axel or kissed Fuu. If he let this continue, he would be driven mad. Better to end it now, while he still had the presence of mind to write a proper goodbye.

_Paine,_

_I know you don't hold me in high regard. You may be more than a year younger than me, but you were always my moral and intellectual superior. I never could and never wanted to live up to your high standard._

_Even so, I respect you and love you enough to tell you why I ended it this way. If you haven't read the other letter by now, you should read it before continuing. I'm not strong enough to take on this burden, but you are. You have intelligence and resourcefulness and friends who care. I had hoped to go to university, lead a normal life, but I don't see how that can happen now. _

_We were never a religious family were we? I know you believe that there is nothing out there, beyond death. I don't know what I believe. Maybe you're wrong and God did exist, all along. I hope so._

_I'm not naïve enough to hope that you'll remember me as a good older brother, or even a decent person. All I hope is that you don't hate me._

_Tell Axel and Fuu that I'm sorry._

_Zexion._

Carefully folding the paper and putting it on the edge of the desk, out of reach of the candle flame, Zexion took the glass of water and the boxes of tablets. Setting the water down on the desk, he opened the first box and freed each pill from its foil packaging. When he had a pile of little capsules on the desk in front of him, he started swallowing them, one by one.

When he got to the third box, Zexion was too drowsy to finish opening the foil packets. He took the few pills that he'd freed into his hand and swallowed them, then rested his head on the table and fell asleep, hypnotised by the flurry of dancing flames.

* * *

"Shh!" Paine whispered as the Japanese girl threw herself over the threshold of the front door, into her arms.

"Sorry!" Yuffie giggled, pressing both hands over her mouth. She'd forgotten that they didn't have the house to themselves tonight. Usually when snuck out of her house to visit the goth, they made sure beforehand that Zexion was out with his friends, but he'd been staying in more and more recently.

Paine scooped her girlfriend into her arms and carried her upstairs to the sound of stifled giggles. "I'm just gonna check on Zexion." She whispered as she set the Japanese girl down on her bed. Her brother had taken to staying up all night recently, lying fully dressed on his bed and staring up into the ceiling, unable to sleep, sometimes with a cigarette in his hand.

The emo's bedroom was dark when she entered, and at first she thought that he'd actually fallen asleep for once, but when her eyes started to adjust to the dark, she realised that Zexion wasn't in his bed. A quick sweep of the room revealed a dark form slumped over the desk, surrounded by melted candles.

Paine reached for the light and flicked the switch, shielding her eyes and waiting for them to adjust. Sighing heavily, she watched her brother's sleeping form with concern. The usual worry was gone from his face and he looked almost peaceful. Paine wondered what was troubling him so much lately that he could only find reprieve in sleep.

It was then that she noticed the empty paracetamol boxes. With growing apprehension, Paine took a step forward and pressed two fingers against her brother's neck. There was a pulse, but it was weak. Letting out the breath she didn't realise she was holding, the goth felt drawn towards a piece of paper, Zexion's handwritten scrawl clearly recognisable.

Paine read the note. Then she dropped it, ran out into the hall, grabbed the phone and pressed the same number three times.

"Hello?" A friendly voice answered on the other end.

"I need an ambulance."


	19. Moron

**A/N: **Sorry I've been so long since updating, the site hasn't been sending alerts to quite a few people, including me, and I didn't see the point in updating until it was sorted out. Since a decent number of people reviewed, I thought it was worth updating. A fair bit of angst in this chapter, and I'm sure you're all eager to find out what happens to Zexion, so get reading!

* * *

So far, Paine had been the dominant one in their relationship, the one who always had a protective arm around Yuffie, the one who played with Yuffie's hair, let her sit on her lap and fed her bits of her food. So it was strange for Yuffie to be the one with her arms wrapped around Paine, consoling her as she read and re-read the two letters. One was Zexion's goodbye note and might be his last words to her, the last thing she had to remember him by. The other was an official letter and might spell out the end of life as she knew it.

From reading over the goth's shoulder, Yuffie knew what it was about. What she really wanted was to talk about it, think of something that could be done, but it was up to Paine to bring it up. For now, she was content to hold her and be there for her.

There was no sign of Axel and Fuu. Yuffie guessed that they'd gone off somewhere else to avoid the awkward silence of the waiting room. The tension between them had been bad enough in the car on the way over, Yuffie forced to get a lift with Axel because Paine had ridden with her brother in the ambulance. It hadn't occurred to the Japanese girl not to go to the hospital, though. Zexion had helped her reach Paine when she needed support. She knew that he was a good guy, and was as worried about him as everyone else.

So far there had been no news. The doctors were attempting to rid his system of the drugs and Yuffie didn't know what his chances of survival were. All she knew was that they'd got to him pretty soon after he'd taken the overdose. That must mean something, right?

"We should phone the others."

This sudden burst of speech from her taciturn girlfriend startled Yuffie and the dull, flat tone of voice saddened her deeply. So focused was she on the way Paine had spoken that it took her a second to realise what she had said.

"The others? You mean Demyx and Yuna and Roxas and Rikku?" She asked, trying to think who else the goth could have meant. Zexion wasn't close to many people.

"Yeah." Paine replied, rubbing her eyes and sighing heavily. Yuffie noticed the dark rings around her eyes. A passing stranger might have mistaken them for part of her gothic makeup.

"I don't know whether Demyx…" The Japanese girl realised that all Paine wanted was something to take her mind off of her brother. "OK. We'll have to go outside if we want to use our mobiles."

"Fine." Paine allowed her to lead the way, another uncharacteristic behaviour to add to the list of things Yuffie should worry about. She led the goth through emotionless white halls, past busy medical staff, worried visitors and pallid patients, until they emerged into a pale, temporary kind of sunlight that could be replaced by clouds and rain at any second.

Well, that answered the question of where Axel and Fuu had got to. They sat huddled together on a wall in the parking lot, sharing a cigarette and speaking in low tones, completely ignoring the two girls as they exited the building.

Since Paine didn't look like she was in the mood to explain anything, Yuffie turned on her mobile phone and called the others, starting with Yuna. She hadn't really expected any of them to care, but she had obviously underestimated their bond with Zexion, because all of them, even Demyx, agreed to come straight to the hospital.

It made sense when you thought about it. Yuna and Rikku had known the quiet emo for as long as they'd known Paine. Demyx had been friends with him once, as had Roxas, albeit briefly, and even though they weren't on the best of terms, both boys were close enough to cared whether he lived or died.

And so, all phone calls made, the silence returned. Axel and Fuu had retreated inside, presumably to see if there was any news about Zexion's condition. Staring at the ground, Paine debated whether to bring up the subject of the other letter. She'd like to think that it was her problem and none of Yuffie's business, but the truth was, she was going to need her girlfriend's support. Besides, she knew that Yuffie had already read the letter, and she couldn't exactly keep the issue from her. As her girlfriend, she had a right to know.

Taking the crumpled piece of paper from her pocket, she smoothed it out and stared at it again for a second, looking up to find Yuffie's gaze on her. Opting for the direct method, she dispensed with any explanation and went straight for the problem at hand.

"What am I going to do?" She asked bluntly. Yuffie reached out and stroked her cheek gently, shaking her head to indicate that she didn't have an answer.

"You can stay with me, of course." She said softly, "But I don't know what you can do to stop this."

"It's just so… calculated. How could he do this, deliberately, knowing that we'd have to deal with the mess he left behind?" Paine clenched her fists in anger.

"I don't… I never met him, but you've told me a lot about him, and it seems to me that… well, I don't want to make judgements." Yuffie shrugged helplessly.

Paine turned her eyes back to the letter. It was an eviction notice, a warning that the house wouldn't belong to them much longer. The house that they had lived in since they were five and six years old. The house that their mother had died in. The house that had seen them both lose their virginity.

The house that was stained with their blood.

Their father had owed money, a lot of money. He'd buried himself further and further in debt to pay back the loans he already owed. The people Sephiroth borrowed money from were not the forgiving kind. When it finally became apparent that there was no way out, he started planning to leave the country - a last, desperate resort.

Paine and Zexion had known nothing of this. Had Sephiroth even planned to take them with him? The goth doubted that her father had cared about them enough. He probably thought they'd be able to cope on their own.

But of course, he'd never made it out of the country. How the murder fit into this, Paine didn't know. It could have been random – an act of violence gone too far. One the other hand, what if the man he killed had been involved in this mess? An associate of the loan sharks, come to collect money or threaten Sephiroth in some way?

Either way, it didn't matter. Her father was safely behind bars, where he couldn't be touched, living off the taxpayer's money. Maybe he'd even planned it this way.

"Feel free to judge all you like." Paine said bitterly. "He's evil, ruthless, uncaring. I shouldn't be surprised that he was hiding this. I wouldn't care so much if it wasn't for…"

A single tear rolled down her cheek and Yuffie wiped it away, kissing the skin just below the eye. "Lets go see if he's OK." She said, standing up and pulling Paine up with her. This time the goth led the way back through the hospital, Yuffie following with a mixture of worry and relief in her expression.

* * *

Eyes heavy with sleep and exhaustion creaked slowly open, then squeezed themselves tightly shut in protest against the harsh white light. Everything smelled clean and all of his energy felt drained, as if the life had been taken out of him. Even moving his arm was an impossibility. 

Someone was holding his hand.

"Awake."

The voice was familiar, although Zexion's sluggish mind took a moment to place it. Fuu was here. She must be the one holding his hand. But where was here? Memories of the last hours before he slept were blurred and fuzzy, as if they were being kept from him somehow. There were candles, and a note… the urge to end it all predominated over everything, making events harder to remember.

"He don't look awake. His eyes are shut."

And that was Axel. So he wasn't in heaven then.

Heaven? Where had that thought come from? Oh, right. He'd tried to kill himself. Obviously hadn't worked, then.

Squinting to begin with, Zexion slowly opened his eyes to find a pair of green ones staring back at him, a small scar underneath each one. The emo remembered the childhood incident in which Axel had nearly been blinded. That had taught him not to run with scissors. A low chuckle escaped his sore, dry throat.

"What's he laughing at?" The redhead asked indignantly, pulling back to exchange a shrug with Fuu, who was sitting near the middle of the bed, holding Zexion's hand. The emo began to cough and his friend grabbed a glass of water from the bedside table and offered it to him. As he drank, he was struck by this parallel with his method of suicide. Attempted suicide, he should say.

"Why aren't I dead?" He asked lightly after the coughing had subsided. The question sounded so casual, as if he'd been asking what was for lunch. Zexion saw a sudden look of pain cross Axel's face.

"Beats me." The redhead replied harshly. "It's as if people care about you or something."

Fuu squeezed his hand tightly. "Moron." She said sadly, a soft smile on her lips. For once, her derision was not directed at Axel, but at Zexion.

"Me?" He asked with surprise. Trying to sit up, he felt a wave of nausea wash over him and promptly fell back down again. "I'm not a moron." He protested.

"We beg to differ." Axel spoke up. "Only a moron would try to kill himself when he has two friends willing to help, if he'd just tell them about his damn problems."

Fuu nodded in agreement. "Trust." She told him.

"That's right. You should have trusted us."

"I didn't think…" Zexion tried to protest.

"Remember that talk we had? You promised not to keep things from me anymore." Axel crossed his arms. "What happened to that?"

"How could you have helped?" Zexion asked weakly. "You can't magic my problems away."

"Everyone has problems, you fucking idiot!" Axel almost shouted in exasperation. "The difference between us and losers who _kill_ themselves is that we have each other. Got it memorised?"

Fuu put a hand on the redhead's arm, forcing him to sit down on the other chair. Turning to Zexion, she said one word that made him realise just how much of a moron he had been. "Love."

Of course he'd said he loved her. And he'd meant it. What kind of person was he to say that and then try to kill himself, leaving her to deal with the grief and guilt? Fuu stood and bent down to kiss his cheek, smoothing back his hair as she did so.

"Understand?"

"I-I understand." He told her. "I'm sorry." His eyes started to water and there was nothing he could do to stop a tear from rolling down his cheek. "I'm sorry."

"You're all doped up with the drugs these doctors've been givin' ya." Axel told him, giving him an excuse for this moment of weakness. Silently thanking him, Zexion found his girlfriend's hand once more and clutched at it tightly.

"Is he awake? Outta the way, I wanna see if he's awake!"

Three heads turned simultaneously towards this intrusion. To Zexion's surprise, the impatient whine had come from none other than Rikku, who was accompanied by Yuna, Roxas and Demyx.

"What're you four doing here?" Axel demanded.

"He _is_ awake." Yuna said thankfully, ignoring the redhead and stepping into the already crowded room.

"Does that mean he's alive?" Rikku asked, twirling a pigtail around one finger.

"Sorry to disappoint." Zexion said with a wry smile, wincing as the blonde flung her arms around him.

"Silly!" She sniffed. "I didn't want you to die."

"She still has to pay you back for all the times you pulled her hair in the playground." Yuna explained, giving him her own, gentler brand of hug.

Roxas stepped around Fuu, (who was glaring at him), to stand by the head of Zexion's bed. "I just wanted you to know that I was worried about you. Despite everything."

"We all were." Demyx added.

"Um. Thanks." Zexion said quietly. He was just starting to realise how much of a part Paine's friends had played in his life. Yuna and Rikku were like sisters to him – pesky little sisters, but sisters nonetheless. Demyx had been his friend for six or seven years, until he'd had that big fight with Axel, and Zexion had been forced to choose sides. Roxas had been his friend too, for a short while, and he'd liked the kid. Again, it was Axel who'd driven him away, although Zexion had to admit, he hadn't exactly stood up for Roxas at all.

"How long has he been awake?" Another voice demanded. Paine strode into the room, dragging Yuffie along behind her and forcing Axel and Fuu out into the corridor. "And why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Sorry Paine, we just got here." Yuna explained, but the goth wasn't listening. Instead, she was glaring at her brother, all worry about him forgotten now that she knew he was going to be OK.

"Moron." She sighed.

"We already told him that!" Axel called out from the back of the room, where he was trying to see what was going on.

Turning to look at the small crowd that had gathered, Roxas decided that it would be best to leave the siblings alone. "Come on guys, lets wait outside." He suggested. The others reluctantly obeyed, spilling out of the room into the corridor.

"We'll be in the waiting room if you need us." Yuffie said to Paine, squeezing her shoulder comfortingly before leaving her side and closing the door behind her.

* * *

Demyx stood nervously outside the open door, not entirely sure whether he wanted to enter. Roxas had brought him up here, a couple of floors above Zexion's room, to meet Sora. The blonde had told him about his brother in the first week of their relationship, but this was the first time the musician had ever joined him on a visit. 

"Come on, you can't stand out there the whole time." Roxas told him, pulling him into the room. There on the bed was a sleeping boy a couple of years older than Roxas, and with darker hair, but apart from that they looked pretty much the same.

The blonde stood by his brother's bed, tugging at Demyx's hand to make him stand next to him. Looking down at the unconscious brunette, the musician was unnerved by how peaceful he looked. How could someone who'd gone flying through a windscreen and been knocked unconscious as a result look so peaceful?

"Hey Sora." Roxas was saying, "This is Demyx."

"Um, hi Sora." Demyx said awkwardly. His boyfriend squeezed his hand encouragingly. "This is weird… what else am I supposed to say?" He asked the blonde.

"It's OK." Roxas told him. "You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to see him. It's important to me."

"He sounds like a great brother. From what you've told me."

"Yeah." The younger boy sighed wistfully.

"I wish I'd had an older brother." Demyx sighed. "Even an younger brother, or a sister. It sucks being an only child."

"I know. I've been one for the last year and a half."

"Oh. Right." The older boy was at a loss for words. "So… what are the doctors saying? About Sora, I mean."

Roxas put a hand on his brother's chest. "He's not getting any better. They said… well, it's up to my parents, but they said there's a chance he might never wake up. They, um, they have a choice. Keep him alive like this, breathing with a machine, maybe never to wake up, or…"

"What do you want to do?" Demyx asked quietly.

"It's not my choice."

"But if it was." He prodded.

"I wouldn't turn off the machine. Not if there was a chance. However small."

Putting an arm around his boyfriend, the musician wondered whether Sora's parents would make the same choice. From what Roxas had told him, they'd already accepted Sora's fate and moved on.

"I don't want to lose him." Roxas said suddenly. "But what if letting him go is the best choice? What if he's suffering and can't… I dunno, move on to the afterlife? Do you believe in that stuff?"

Demyx shrugged. "My parents always taught me not to believe in things like that, but to tell the truth, I really don't know. Maybe there _is_ an afterlife. I wouldn't take anything for granted anymore."

"Maybe."

The younger boy leaned against him for a while. "Come on, lets get out of here. Namine really wants to meet you."

* * *

They were alone in the waiting room, Axel and Fuu on one side, Rikku, Yuffie and Yuna on the other. The two who actually counted themselves as Zexion's friends seemed irritated that their time with him had been cut short by these intruders. Staring at her brightly coloured shoelaces, Rikku tried her best not to be the one who broke the silence. This was a solemn moment and she didn't want to spoil it. 

Surprisingly, it was Axel, not the blonde, who was first to speak. "You guys don't have to stick around, you know."

"What if we want to stick around?" Yuffie shot back.

"Yeah, you're not the only ones who care about Zexy!" Rikku jumped in in support of her friend.

"Fake." Fuu sneered, angry at the blonde girl's audacity. How dare she give Zexion such a sugary, pathetic nickname? She had no right.

Yuna sighed unhappily. "Can't we just get along?" She asked.

Axel laughed derisively. "Wouldn't it be nice if everyone was nice?" He mocked. "You want us to all have a great big hug and be friends?"

"Don't make fun of Yunie!" Rikku scowled, fists clenched. "You're such a big bully! What's your problem with us?"

"Do I gotta have a problem?" Axel shrugged. "I just don't like you. What's so hard to understand about that?"

"I realise that you're jealous about our visit." Yuna told him. "You're Zexion's best friend, you don't want to share him with others."

"Don't psychoanalyse me." The redhead warned. "You don't know me at all."

An exhausted Paine entered the waiting room and slumped onto the nearest chair. "What's going on?" She asked despairingly.

"Are you done with Zexion?" Axel asked, standing. "Coz we want to see him again now."

"Sit down." The goth told him in a no-nonsense voice. "Zexion told me to tell you to stop being a child and get over yourself."

"What the fuck's that supposed to mean?" He demanded, remaining on his feet.

Lifting her head, Paine glared at him. "It means you're the one who has a problem with us. He wants you to stop being so hostile."

"Bullshit." Axel scowled, arms crossed. He looked to Fuu for support, but she only shrugged. "What about Demyx?" He pointed out. "Zexion hates him."

"No, you fell out with him and Zexion was more loyal to you than Demyx." Paine replied. "He's willing to put the past behind him."

"I'm gonna talk to him." The redhead decided. "Maybe those drugs did something to his brain."

"Fine." Paine sighed, dropping her head onto Yuffie's shoulders as Axel stormed out of the room. After a few seconds she noticed Fuu's eyes on her and turned her attention to the emo girl. "What about you?"

Fuu shrugged. "Whatever."

"That's a start, I guess." The goth sighed, rubbing her temples, tired of playing peacemaker. She got the feeling that Fuu would agree with whatever Zexion said. The girl was nothing if not loyal.

Saying nothing as usual, Fuu stared around the room, scrutinising the others as her gaze swept over them. Yuna was fine, it was difficult to dislike her and she'd been nothing but friendly. Rikku… she didn't think she could ever like the bouncy, bubbly, stereotypically dumb blonde, but she could probably put up with her. Yuffie was in her drama class and seemed OK – Fuu hadn't really spoken with her much.

Then there was Paine. Fuu had thought of the goth as her enemy purely because she'd been Zexion's sister, but had she been entirely fair? Her and Zexion obviously had a strong bond. When she thought about it, Fuu realised that she and Paine weren't that different, when it came down to it. Did she deserve another chance?

And what about Roxas and Demyx? Fuu didn't know Roxas at all, had never spoken to him. If Zexion liked him, she probably could, too. She'd disliked Demyx because Zexion and Axel were always picking on him. It wouldn't be difficult to be civil to him if Zexion was as well. All she really wanted was to be with Zexion and for him to be happy. She didn't care about anyone else, not even Axel.

Speaking of which, the redhead came back into the room with a scowl plastered across his face. "I'd just like to say that I'm not happy with this." He announced, holding up a finger for emphasis. "And I'm only gonna say this once. We're calling a truce. For some strange reason Zexion seems to think you guys aren't so bad after all. I'll stop picking on Demyx and shit like that."

Paine rolled her eyes and Fuu stopped herself before she did the same. The two exchanged glances and almost smiled. _Yes,_ Fuu thought to herself, _this could work.

* * *

_

Meanwhile, Demyx was forced to stand absolutely still as Namine walked in a circle around him, scrutinising him from all angles. She poked him firmly in the stomach and pulled up his t-shirt as if checking for unusual markings, then ran her finger over his forearm, testing the texture and firmness of the skin. Finally, she gave a curt nod and smiled widely, her face lighting up.

"He's not a replica." She announced.

"Glad to hear it." The musician said, grinning in amusement. He could get to like this crazy girl. She was… interesting, to say the least.

Reaching out both hands, Namine led both of them to a table where colouring crayon and paper were set out. She'd already drawn a couple of pictures, and was in the middle of a third.

"What's this?" Roxas asked, picking up a picture that was unmistakeably Sora. It looked like he was encased in some sort of shell, or perhaps the petals of a flower.

Looking up to see what he was talking about, Namine gently took the picture away. "I'm restoring his memories. 88 percent completion. Soon he will be ready."

Frowning as he tried to understand the pale girl's delusions, Roxas wondered whether Namine's schizophrenia was becoming worse. "Ready for what?"

Staring at him as if it was obviously, Namine sighed and simply said one word, a word that caused Roxas's stomach to cramp and his pulse to race. He knew he was getting his hopes up, he knew that she was crazy and couldn't possibly be right, but he couldn't stop the feeling of hope that rose up within him.

One word.

"Awakening."

* * *

**A/N: **I don't have a problem with killing off a main character, but I like Zexion a lot and besides, the rest of the story will be better if he's still in it, trust me. Oooh, what's this about Awakening? Dun dun dun! 


	20. Friendly Argument

**A/N: **This chapter is a little longer than I intended, and I'm not entirely happy with it, but to fix it I'd have to compltely re-write it, so it'll have to do. I was originally intending to write three more chapters, but I realised that I was dragging things out too much, so I condensed my ideas into two chapters, which means that **there will only be one more chapter after this one. **That's right, the fic is almost at its end. While I'm a little sad about that, I realise that if it went on for much longer I would start taking ages to update and it would become a chore, rather than something I enjoy. Please note - **this chapter is set several months after chapter 19. **Enjoy the aftermath of Zexion's suicide attempt and the agreement he, Axel and Fuu made with the others.

* * *

"Aw c'mon, this isn't fair!" 

Wriggling her way out from underneath the sofa, Rikku stood up and put her hands on her hips. With a pout, she did a full turn, looking around the room hopelessly. As if he'd have left it in full view.

"Gimme a clue!" She whined. Her dad merely shook his head, smirking from his position by the door, leaning against the wall. Death wound herself around his legs, purring happily. When Paine and Zexion were evicted, they tried living with Yuffie and Axel, but the two girls had got on each other's nerves and decided that their relationship would suffer if they lived together for much longer. Axel, meanwhile, had been driving Zexion crazy with his slobbishness, and when Rikku had pointed out that she lived by herself most of the time, both siblings had jumped at the chance to move in with her.

Huffing impatiently, Rikku crouched down and began to crawl around the room on her hands and knees, looking behind the curtains and inside all of the drawers.

"You're getting' colder." Cid spoke up, finally taking pity on her.

Experimentally, Rikku crawled back towards the middle of the room.

"Warmer."

She headed for the sofas on the left hand side of the living room.

"Colder."

Back towards the middle, then.

"Woah girl, yer burnin' up!"

So it was somewhere around the middle of the room. But Rikku had already checked everywhere! There was a whole lot of carpet and not many hiding places. Where could she have overlooked?

The only thing that came to mind was the coffee table. She'd already checked under it, briefly, during her initial search of the room, but Cid had done army training. He knew to be sneakier than that.

That was it! Army training. So… think of this as a bomb. Where would he have hidden a bomb to make sure that no one found it? Rikku's hands began to search the underside of the table, running over the smooth wooden surface until her searching fingers found the rough edge of a piece of masking tape. Grinning triumphantly, she peeled it away and caught the round object that it had been holding in place.

"Took ya long enough." Cid teased as Rikku peeled away the foil wrapping and stuffed the chocolate egg into her mouth. It was the fifth one she'd found that morning, the last that Cid had hidden.

"Tha wa yo besh higin playsh ye!" Rikku told him through a mouthful of chocolate. She never had the patience to store her chocolate until she wanted to eat it. Every Easter, her eggs disappeared as soon as she got them.

"I'll take that as a compliment… I think." Cid laughed at his daughter as she licked chocolate off her fingers, making them even stickier than they were before. Suddenly, the blonde girl remembered something and her face fell.

"Do you gotta leave now, Dad?" She asked quietly.

Cid nodded.

"But… can't you stay for a little while?"

"Sorry, Ri."

Although she wasn't happy about the situation, Rikku was cheered by the fact that she wouldn't be left alone this time. When Zexion and Paine came back from visiting their mother, they were going to decorate their eggs. For the past few months, the blonde had been discovering what it was like to have a brother and sister. Now she knew what she'd been missing and hoped that neither of them would move out any time soon.

Cid gave her a brief hug as he passed on his way to the door, and Rikku pulled him in, delaying the time when he would have to walk out of the door. She earned a peck on the cheek, punctuated by a stubbly beard and the smell of cigars that lingered even after he left.

Rikku sighed, looking at the clock. They'd be back soon.

"I'm bored." She told Death. Happy to receive attention, the kitten came over to sit on her lap and meowed for chocolate.

* * *

_Roxas,_

_Your father and I are sorry for the way we acted. I hope you don't think we're terrible parents. Of course we still love you, and we hope that together we can reach an agreement._

_We worry about you. Our only wish is to have you back home._

_Love Mum and Dad.

* * *

_

Of course there wasn't going to be an Easter egg this year. She was a grown up now. Whatever that meant. She should have remembered.

Still, the disappointment felt bitter on her tongue as her little brother was fed little pieces of chocolate and she was left holding a pair of earrings. It wasn't as if she was ungrateful. Some girls would much rather prefer jewellery to childish traditions. Chocolate was so bad for the figure, don't you know.

But didn't her parents know she wasn't that kind of girl? Had the arrival of her brother magically transformed her? Was she no longer the grinning little girl in pigtails, mud smeared all over her face as she held the reins of the horse that had thrown her off just ten minutes earlier?

Sitting up on her bed, Yuna crossed her legs and picked up her homework journal. Everything major that was due in after the holidays had been crossed off, meaning that she had nothing to do. If she didn't find something to occupy herself with, she'd end up lying on her bed all day, thinking about how unfair her life was. Look at what had happened to Zexion when he did that.

Grabbing a pair of socks, Yuna pulled them onto her feet, followed by her trainers, which she laced up tight. The only thing she could think of was to get out of the house, out into the sun and focus on the good things about life.

And maybe visit Rikku's house. The blonde would cheer her up for sure, and if she could visit Paine and Zexion while she was at it, she could make sure they were both OK. So far the goth hadn't shown signs of self-harm, but this drastic change in her life was the kind of thing that could set her off, especially since her relationship with Yuffie had been strained lately. And Zexion was his usual withdrawn self, so there was no telling how he was coping with the situation.

It's hard being the person who worries about everyone else.

* * *

Roxas sat at the keyboard for an eternity, fingers poised, before he was ready to type out a reply to the email that he had received this morning. A sticky Demyx lay on the bed, utterly exhausted and covered in the remains of Roxas's Easter egg. 

_I hope you don't think you can send me an apology and everything will be alright. _He typed. _You hurt me and I'm not ready to forgive you. If you want me back, you will have to win my trust._

Glancing back to the bed behind him, Roxas watched his boyfriend run a finger across his stomach, gathering the chocolate that the younger boy's eager tongue had missed, bringing the finger to his mouth and sucking the chocolate off. He wasn't going to forgive his parents until they accepted his relationship with Demyx. He loved the dirty blonde too much to accept anything less.

On the other hand… Roxas re-read what he'd typed. Was this the right way to reconcile with his parents? They wouldn't react well to this message. It had probably taken a lot for his mother to send the first email. Obviously they realised what they'd lost and wanted to correct their mistake. Didn't that mean they were ready to open their minds about things they didn't like?

Deleting the text, Roxas started again.

I'm sorry too. The way I acted wasn't the best way either. We both made mistakes and I'm sure we both want to give each other a second chance. I still love you too, but I also love Demyx. If you can't accept that, you won't be able to accept me.

_I'm not ready to come back home, but if you want to see me again, I'd be happy for you to meet Demyx, get to know him. Please do this for me._

_Love Roxas._

He clicked send before he could change his mind and climbed back into bed to see if he could make the musician moan louder this time. If that was even possible.

* * *

Bending down to lay flowers on his mother's grave, Zexion blinked away a tear and turned his head so that his sister wouldn't see him crying. If she was here, this would never have happened. She would have taken her children away from that madman, made sure they were never put in this situation. Maybe Sephiroth (Zexion hadn't thought of him as his father since he was young) would have been locked away many years earlier, for the abuse he put her through. 

But he was deceiving himself, wasn't he? His mother hadn't possessed the strength to save herself from the illness that took her, how could she have protected her children? She had never stood up to Sephiroth when he beat her, why would that have ever changed?

She was lucky that she got out when she could. If she had survived, life would have been a lot worse for her. Zexion no longer wished he'd succeeded in his attempt to join her – he was happy now – but he understood why some people would want to get away from life. The old saying was true – life isn't fair. And Zexion was having a hard time dealing with it. If not for his friends, he wouldn't be here.

As he stood up, he felt Paine's presence near him. She must have crept up closer without him noticing. When she put a hand on his arm, he brushed her away.

"Stop mothering me." He protested. "I'm fine."

"Whatever you say." Paine sighed, holding up her hands to show that she wasn't going to touch him again. Sometimes she felt like everyone was slipping away from her. She may have become closer to Zexion throughout their ordeal, but her brother had made sure to keep some distance between them. The only time he'd opened up was during their talk at the hospital, and Paine had since attributed that to his sleepy, drugged-up state.

If things had been going better with Yuffie, the goth might have worried more about her brother, but as it was, all of her concentration was poured into making things work with her girlfriend. Now that they weren't spending twenty-four hours a day together, things were getting better, but they hadn't slept together in a couple of months. It didn't help that with a bored Rikku constantly around the house, they no longer had any chance to be alone together.

"Come on." Zexion said softly, tugging on the back of her t-shirt. Paine realised that she'd been staring at the grave for almost ten minutes, in a trance. Turning away, she allowed her brother to lead her out of the graveyard and back home.

* * *

_Roxas,_

_I talked your father into agreeing to your request. He isn't happy about your relationship with this Demyx boy, but as far as I'm concerned, if you're happy, I'm happy._

_I've booked a table at Pete's for tomorrow at one o clock. See you there?_

_Love Mum.

* * *

_

The door was flung open before Paine could insert her key and an extremely bored blonde threw herself at both of them.

"You're back!"

"Get off me." Zexion complained, shoving Rikku away and stepping inside. Taking no notice of his hostile behaviour, Rikku danced around him.

"You promised to decorate eggs with us!" She said, poking the emo in the side.

Zexion frowned and turned away. "I said I'd do it if I felt like it. And I don't feel like it. So fuck off."

"Meanie!" Rikku pouted, poking him some more. "Come on, it'll be fun!"

Paine bent down to stroke her cat. "Zexion, you promised." She warned. Rolling his eyes, the emo reluctantly agreed.

"Yay!" Rikku cheered, running off to fetch the eggs and the decorations. Zexion fell into a chair and sighed heavily.

"I'm starting to realise what a great sister you are." He told Paine. "You never bugged me to do stuff with you."

Seating herself in the middle of the floor, cross-legged, Paine coaxed Death into her lap. "Maybe if I had we'd both have been happier."

Her brother shrugged in reply. "I was happy to be left alone."

"Not true." The goth contradicted. "You know what happened when you pushed everyone away. Admit it. You like being Rikku's big brother."

Crossing his arms and leaning back, Zexion was about to respond when the blonde bounded back into the room, arms full of various things. Paine noticed the faint smile that crossed her brother's face before it was pushed away and replaced with his usual expressionless mask.

Before she could tease him about it, the doorbell rang and Rikku leapt up again to answer it. The siblings exchanged a puzzled glance.

"Are you expecting someone?" Paine asked.

"I didn't invite anyone over."

"Me neither."

The blonde returned, a self-conscious Yuna in tow.

"Hi." She said, waving a hand at Paine and Zexion. "I was just passing and…"

"Sit down." Paine interrupted before the brunette could think of an explanation for why she was here. "We're about to decorate our Easter eggs."

Death got out of the goth's lap, stretched and went over to say hello to her favourite human as Yuna made herself comfortable on the floor next to Paine.

"Thanks." She said quietly.

"Don't mention it." Paine knew about her friend's family situation and was glad that she'd come over.

"Great, another brat to complete the collection." Zexion complained from his chair.

Rolling her eyes, Paine reached out and prodded him with her toe. "No one's stopping you from inviting Axel or Fuu." She told him.

"Fine." He replied, standing up. "I'm calling Fuu."

"And I'm calling Yuffie." The goth said, reaching into her pocket for her mobile. Her girlfriend was probably bored and at this point Paine would take any excuse to spend time with her.

Rikku and Yuna exchanged glances. "You could call Tidus…" The blonde suggested. Yuna and the football player had been on a couple of dates and it looked like they would become a couple.

"And expose him to this bunch of crazy people? I'm not that mean."

* * *

_Thanks for understanding, Mum. I guess Dad's a little less ready to accept me, but I'm glad he agreed to give me a chance. We'll be there tomorrow._

_Love Roxas._

The blonde felt an arm pull him back into bed. He managed to hit the send button before he was pulled down into the mattress and two legs wrapped themselves around him.

"You can't be ready to do that again." Roxas complained. They'd been in bed all day and he didn't think he had the stamina to go another round.

"Don't worry." Demyx reassured him, tickling the back of his neck with his breath. "I just want cuddles."

"Now that I can do."

They lay spooned together, stroking each other gently, winding down from the day's activity. As he ran his hand down his lover's chest, letting it rest above his heart, Roxas hoped tomorrow would go well.

"Are you sure you're OK with this?" He whispered, his other hand playing with the musician's hair.

"Yeah." Demyx whispered back. "It's only fair, after all. You've met my parents."

"Your parents are OK with me living here with you. Mine aren't so accepting."

Demyx lightly planted a kiss on the blonde's forehead. "You're worried that they won't accept me?"

Roxas nodded.

"Does it matter if they don't? We'll still have each other, right?"

"Yeah. But… they're my parents."

"Well." Demyx said, pulling him close and resting his chin on Roxas's shoulder, "If they care about you as much as you care about them, they'll accept me."

"I hope you're right."

* * *

Zexion lay flat on his back, stretched out on Rikku's sofa with Fuu using him as a mattress, one hand curled around his neck, the other resting on his chest as she lie on her front on top of him. Rikku and Yuffie had joined Paine and Yuna in the middle of the floor, as this made it easier to decorate their eggs. The Japanese girl was sharing an egg with her girlfriend, and Yuna had taken over Zexion's egg, as he didn't really like chocolate anyway. 

"Hey, are you two asleep?" Rikku asked, noticing that neither Zexion nor Fuu had spoken in a while. Not that they spoke much anyway.

Fuu lifted her head long enough to shake it in reply, then dropped it onto her boyfriend's chest again. Zexion lifted a hand to show that he was still alive.

"They're just being antisocial." Yuffie said in a stage whisper as she drew eyes on her egg with yellow icing. "Hey! I saw that!" She objected, seeing Pain sneaking a blue Smartie into her mouth.

"It was only one." The goth protested innocently as she popped another one into her mouth. Yuffie giggled and kissed her, slipping tongue inside her girlfriend's mouth, stealing the Smartie back and eating it herself.

Yuna watched them both with a smile on her face, but Fuu wasn't so pleased with this display of affection. "Gross." She complained, poking Zexion to make him do something about it.

"Do you have to do that in public?" The emo asked, half joking. He earned himself a torrent of Smarties as all four girls started throwing them at once. Fuu didn't seem to mind, as she started searching for them and eating them.

When Zexion's mobile started ringing, he was forced to make Fuu sit up so that he could answer it. The name on the screen was Annoying Bastard.

"Hi Axel. What do you want?"

"I'm bored." Came the reply. "Whatcha doin'? Wanna come over?"

"Is it Axel?" Rikku asked, standing up and putting her ear to the other side of Zexion's head, as if she would be able to hear the conversation through the emo's brain.

"I hear an annoying whine." Axel said. "Lemme guess. Rikku?"

"Who else?" The emo affirmed.

"Invite him over!" The blonde suggested, tugging at Zexion's arm. She was pushed away.

"Piss off!" The emo complained. "No, not you Ax. Listen, d'you wanna come over here? Everyone's ended up here anyway, it won't matter if there's one more."

"Yay!" Rikku grinned as Axel agreed on the other side of the phone. Paine and Yuna exchanged glances, the goth raising one eyebrow. Why was Rikku so excited about Axel coming over?

"Do you have to be so irritating?" Zexion asked, flipping the phone shut and putting it back into his pocket. As soon as he lay down again, Fuu resumed her previous position on top of him. "And do you have to treat me like furniture all the time?" He complained to his girlfriend.

"Comfy." The emo girl grinned as she buried her face in his chest, taking a deep breath. "Smell nice."

"Ew, do you have to do that in public?" Yuffie teased as Zexion ran his hand through Fuu's hair and kissed her. Rikku, meanwhile, was tickling Death under the chin and asking if she found her irritating. The kitten's response was to purr loudly and lean closer to the hand.

"Who're you texting?" Paine asked, seeing Yuna with phone in hand.

"Well, if everyone else is here, I might as well invite Tidus." The brunette sighed. "He has to get used to you people eventually."

"You're so gonna get married!" Rikku said, sticking her head over the top of the screen and trying to read the message upside down until she was pushed away. "Tidus and Yuna sittin' in a tree…"

"F-U-C-K-I-N-G"

"Zexion!" Paine protested, leaning towards the sofa and punching her brother in the arm. "This is Yuna. Our virgin princess!"

The brunette had buried her head in her hands. "Please don't do this when he's around." She groaned.

"Don't worry." Zexion spoke up. "I'll be good."

"Do you think we should invite Roxas and Demyx over too?" Paine wondered.

"Um… what if they're…" Yuna began, waving her hands around vaguely.

"Kissing?" Zexion offered, raising an eyebrow. His sister shot him a dirty look, ready to hit him again. "Sorry." He shrugged.

"I'll phone Roxas." Yuffie offered. "Demyx is probably with him."

* * *

Axel sat on the floor, legs spread out across the carpet, an extremely exasperated look on his face. Behind him on the sofa, Rikku and Yuffie plaited his spiky red hair, giggling to themselves every so often. Zexion and Fuu had moved to the armchair, which was the only other seat in the room. Rikku really needed to get more furniture. 

Tidus, Paine and Demyx were having a three-way Pokemon battle on the coffee table, following the discovery that Yuna's new boyfriend was a Pokemon fan as well. Roxas and Yuna sat and watched, trying to figure out the rules.

"Why didn't that attack kill the turtle thing?" Yuna asked, tilting her head to look at Demyx's card. Paine's Magmar had just used Super Singe on the musician's Wartortle, which had had 20 life points remaining before the attack and was now reduced to 10.

Paine sighed, trying not to be irritated by her friend's curiosity. "The turtle thing is a water type, which has a resistance to fire type Pokemon such as Magmar. Damage is reduced by 30 points, so I only did 10 damage."

"What was the point of attacking then?" Axel called from the other side of the room. "You could'a attacked Tidus's Poke-thing instead."

Glaring at the redhead in impatience, Paine sighed again. This time she didn't stop herself from becoming irritated. "Tidus's Gastly used Destiny Bond, which means that if I kill it, I go down too. When I attacked Wartortle, it became burned, so unless Demyx uses Full Heal, he'll die on his next turn anyway. That's why!"

Shrugging, Axel turned to shoot a glance at Zexion. "Did you understand a word of that?" He asked. The emo grinned and shook his head.

"Nerds." Fuu murmured, not bothering to lift her head from her comfy position snuggled against Zexion's chest.

"Keep still." Rikku complained, holding Axel's head straight so that he'd stop moving it. "We're almost done."

"And you look so pretty!" Yuffie added, stifling a giggle.

"Why did I agree to this?" The redhead groaned, trying to keep still. He wondered exactly when they'd become a big happy family. Things hadn't fallen straight into place as soon as Zexion had decided they were going to be friends. In the beginning, Axel and Demyx had sniped at each other, while Fuu's bitching transferred to Rikku after she realised that she liked Paine after all. At some point, the sniping and bitching had turned into friendly argument, and Axel realised that he didn't really dislike any of these freaks any more.

"Hey Paine, your cat's sitting on my feet." He complained. Death purred happily at him, gently kneading the sensitive flesh on his feet with her claws.

"Move her then." The goth shrugged, waiting for Tidus to make a move. He moved an energy card to one of the Pokemon on his bench and tried to use Sleeping Gas on Magmar, but the coin came down tails side up.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Move it, you mangy little fur ball." Axel whined, nudging Death off of his feet. The cat glared at him and started washing herself furiously.

"All done!" Rikku exclaimed. Axel stood up and went in search of a mirror, intent on finding out how stupid he looked. Yuffie slipped off the sofa and went to sit next to Paine, playing with her hair absentmindedly as she watched the progression of the game.

"What the fuck?" Came the shout from the hallway. "You girls are gonna pay for this!"

"Aw come on, Axy! You look cute!" Rikku giggled, ducking when a pillow was swung at her. Picking up the nearest cushion, she jumped up and retaliated, hitting the redhead in the side and jumping backwards to avoid the next blow.

"My name's not Axy!" The redhead insisted, grabbing Rikku around the waist and rubbing his fist into her scalp. "Face the wrath of my Noogie!"

"Eep! Mercy!" Rikku twisted out of his grasp and fluffed her hair back into place.

"Cut it out, children." Paine spoke up.

"He started it!" Rikku whined, pointing at the redhead.

"Nuh-uh!" Axel shot back.

"You're both as bad as each other." The goth said, grinning at the pair of them.

"You know what?" Roxas said suddenly. "You two would make a great couple!"

Axel and Rikku looked at each other in horror.

"No way!" The both cried out at the same time, jumping away from each other. They went to sit on opposite ends of the sofa, deliberately avoiding each other's attention.

The Pokemon battle eventually ended, with Tidus emerging the winner after he brought three strong Pokemon into the fight, one after the other. Sending out Gastly had only been a stall tactic, and he'd used Destiny Bond to discourage the other two from killing it. While Paine and Demyx wore each other down, he kept adding energy cards to Machamp, Charizard and Butterfree until they were ready to use their strongest attacks, then swapped Gastly with Butterfree and started his reign of terror. The others were no match for him after that.

At seven o clock, Rikku turned on the TV and they all watched Dr Who. Despite his earlier protest, Axel kept the plaits in his hair, slowly relaxing until his feet stretched out on the sofa far enough to touch Rikku's. Yuffie rested her head on Paine's stomach, Roxas and Demyx lay together the same way and Yuna and Tidus held hands when they thought no one was looking. Zexion and Fuu fell asleep before the programme ended and were left there as the rest of the guests left and Paine and Rikku were left to clear up the mess.

"They're so sweet when they're asleep." Paine whispered as she stuffed cardboard packaging from the Easter eggs into a plastic bag. "Makes you wish they were asleep more often, doesn't it?"

"They're not that bad." Rikku replied as she gathered up the remains of a Smartie fight, dusting off the sweets and eating them as she picked them off the floor. "Well, Zexy isn't that bad."

"What about Axel?" Paine asked slyly. A cushion was thrown her way, signalling Rikku's views on that subject.

The phone rang before the blonde could throw anything else, and the goth went to answer it hurriedly before it woke Zexion and Fuu. When she returned to the living room, a serious look on her face, Rikku had finished tidying up and was putting the cushions back in their proper places.

"What is it?" She asked her friend, seeing the look on her face. It wasn't often that she saw the goth looking so vulnerable. "What's wrong Paine?"

Shaking her head, the goth held out her arms, silently asking for a hug. Rikku pulled her forward and wrapped her arms around her comfortingly.

"What's wrong?" She asked again, pulling back.

Paine looked over at her sleeping brother and bit her lip. "I'll tell you tomorrow." She said quietly. "Zexion needs to hear this."

"OK." Rikku agreed, wondering what could have happened to upset Paine like this.

* * *

**A/N: **When planning the Pokemon battle, I looked up the cards mentioned on Google to make sure I had my facts straight. Paine was actually using Magmar-ex, rather than the original Magmar card. Oh, and I checked that the name Annoying Bastard will fit in the space given for a contact name on a mobile phone. 


	21. Time To Let Go

**A very long A/N: **Greetings, faithful readers! This is the final chapter, and the longest so far. My original plan was to get all of the characters together for a barbecue, but instead I decided to show how each of them has grown since the beginning of the fic. I'm particularly satisfied with the bits involving Rikku and Axel. Paine's journal entry wasn't in my plan, but I've received positive reviews about them in the past, and I like writing them, so it seemed fitting to put on in the final chapter.

There's a special reason why I stayed up late last night finishing it. I wanted to submit this last chapter on my birthday – which just happens to be today, Thursday the 3rd of May, 2007. So this is my birthday present to myself.

Now for a few acknowledgements for my favourite reviewers. **Vampiremist**, my very first reviewer – thanks for your continued support and encouragement right through to chapter 20. **KHNeko**, another persistent and enthusiastic reviewer who has been reading this fic since very early on. **Sassy Aloo**, you've declared your love both for me and this fic and I'd like to take this opportunity to reciprocate. I love you! **Shadow Shiningheart**, I'm not sure I deserve the title of goddess but thank you so much for reviewing. **Lifes-Number-1-hater**, Roxas and Demyx appreciate your support and would like to name their first child after you. **Haninozuka Mitsukuni**, I haven't heard from you for a while and I hope you're still reading. PS, can I have Demyx back? I hope he's not still tied to that chair. **BeautifulDementia**, I haven't heard from you for a while either. If you're still out there, give me a review.** Sakuuraba**, I'm sorry my fic distracted you from your biology homework. Zexion never did find out about the 'hott gay buttsmex' (as you put it) that occurred on his bed. **Darkchild**, I'm amazed you're still reading this despite not having an account. Your repeated encouragement to update inspires me to write faster.

And finally, **The Masquerade Moth.** I hope you didn't think I'd forgotten you. You're my favourite reviewer of all, because of your wonderful enthusiasm for my fic and our weird little PM conversations involving Real-life Xigbar and Fanfic Xigbar. I enjoyed our serious conversations too.

So here it is. The end. I don't plan on writing a sequel or an epilogue or anything else. Oh, and quick **Yuri** warning, but you're probably OK with that.

* * *

"Poke."

"Meow."

"Poooooke…"

"Meow."

"Poke poke."

"Purrrrrrr… meow."

"What the fuck?" Paine opened one eye warily, found herself staring into a big green one and promptly shut it again. Something cold and damp pushed itself against her cheek and a couple of tickly whiskers found their way up her nose. There was a weight pressed against her chest, and in the background someone was giggling inanely. At least her arm was no longer being poked by a sharp, bony finger.

"We know you're awake." Rikku said after she'd managed to put a lid on her giggles. The weight on her chest shifted and Paine felt something leathery and furry rest against her cheek. She risked opening her eyes again and found that she had a face full of paw and Death was purring madly.

"What time is it?" The goth asked hoarsely. Clearing her throat, she turned her head slowly to avoid the extension of claws and peered at her bedside clock. "Rikku… I know you like to get up early, but six o clock?"

"Zexion and Fuu are awake and eating breakfast and you said you'd share your bad news when he was a awake to hear it and we're all curious to know what it is, well I'm guessing Fuu is too coz she doesn't speak much and sometimes you can't tell is it OK if she knows too I mean she is Zexion's girlfriend and you were gonna let me in on the secret… where are you going?"

"Shower." Paine croaked, already out of the room and on her way to the bathroom. There were certain times of day when she could endure her friend's babbling, and six o clock in the morning was _not_ one of them. Death, miffed at being shoved unceremoniously off of the goth's chest, wound her way around Rikku's legs, meowing insistently to be fed.

Paine took her time in the shower, letting the hot water stream over her tired body until she was almost comfortable enough to fall asleep. Relaying the news to Zexion was not something she was looking forward to. She didn't think expect him to be devastated, it was just that this huge part of their lives was suddenly missing. Last night she'd shed tears because she was used to its presence and didn't know how to react to its removal. With a large part of the evil in her life gone, she felt disoriented. Besides, she had never wanted things to turn out this way.

Emerging from the shower dripping wet, Paine groped for her towel and found it underneath Rikku's pink one, hanging on the hook on the wall. She walked back to her room with the towel wrapped around her body, dried herself off, found some clean clothes and dressed herself in them, then towelled her hair dry and rubbed moisturiser into her face. Morning routine finished (makeup would have to wait), the goth went downstairs to face the music and found Zexion, Rikku and Fuu seated at the dining table, waiting for her.

She took her seat at the head of the table, their gazes creeping her out. Eventually, Fuu lost her patience and said, "Talk."

Nodding her head slightly, Paine clasped her hands together and told them about the phone call.

"Sephiroth was stabbed the day before yesterday." She said bluntly, still not inclined to call him Dad. "Another inmate got hold of something sharp, a piece of glass or something, they haven't found the weapon so they're not sure."

She paused, and out of the corner of her eye, saw Zexion bite his lip. Despite everything, the emo cared a little about whether his father had been seriously hurt. Paine remembered something she'd learned in Psychology. Sometimes people who'd been emotionally abused ended up forming ties with their abusers, even went back to live with them after they'd been rescued by the police. Zexion's emotional tie with Sephiroth didn't extend that far, but he obviously didn't hate the man as much as he thought he did. Neither did she, Paine reflected, if she was really honest. Sephiroth had been a horrible man in every aspect of his life, but she didn't believe that he was evil.

"He… he died in the early hours of yesterday morning." She continued, avoiding her brother's gaze. "Prison doctors aren't exactly the best, and the wound was pretty deep. Stabbed in the stomach, wound got infected… there wasn't much of a chance, really."

Fuu tilted her head as she watched a tear trickle down her boyfriend's cheek. Just a single tear, not followed by another. That's all Zexion would spare for Sephiroth. Wrapping her arms around him, she rubbed her cheek against his arm, encouraging him to open up and let her hug him. Zexion responded by opening his arms and hugging her tightly, needing this comfort to help him make sense of the situation. A huge weight had been lifted from his chest, but at the same time he'd lost someone who had played a big part in his childhood.

"This is stupid." He muttered. "I should be happy that he's dead."

One of Paine's hands was clasped tightly with Rikku's, but she put the other on Zexion's arm supportively. "It's good that you're not. No one deserves death. The fact that you can show compassion means that you're better than him."

"I just wish things were different. I wish we had a proper family."

"What are we then?" Rikku demanded. "Paine's your sister and I'm kind of like a sister… more like a cousin really, but you know what I mean…"

"It's OK. I know." Zexion told her gently, lifting his head from Fuu's shoulder to smile at the blonde before she could go on one of her verbal binges. The emo girl lifted her head to whisper something in his ear, and he nodded decisively. "Right. We have to do that thing."

"What thing?" Paine asked suspiciously.

Rikku grinned deviously. "That thing where we leave the house and you stay here on your own."

"Huh?"

"Trust." Fuu told the goth, giving her a firm look. She got out of her seat and led Zexion out of the room. Rikku winked at her friend and followed them. Paine soon heard the front door slam.

"…what?"

"Meow."

"I wasn't talking to you."

* * *

Axel lived in a council house with no doorbell, which meant that he was woken by an enthusiastic knocking on the front door. His mother had already left for work, his father had left ten years ago and never come back. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and pulling on a pair of jeans to make himself look vaguely presentable, the redhead stumbled downstairs, fluffing up his hair, which was always flattened at the back in the mornings. 

"I'm coming!" He grumbled as the knocking continued, his visitor determined not to give up. At least he hadn't woken with a headache for once in his pitiful existence. Thank God for small blessings. Wait a sec, why hadn't he woken with a headache? Oh yeah, he'd ended up at that big friendly happy-fest last night. Damn Zexion and his little girly friends.

Approaching the sound of the knocking, he reached for the door handle, getting it at the second attempt, vision still blurred with sleep. The door swung open to reveal a grinning blonde wearing bright pink shorts, a tiny white t-shirt and a pair of flip-flops.

"Rikku." He grunted.

"Yep!"

"Why?"

The blonde pushed past him, uninvited, and ventured into his kitchen, where she found the kettle, filled it from the tap and put it on to boil. "You're just like Paine in the morning, only less cute."

"What?" It was far too early in the day for this, Axel decided with a yawn.

"You need coffee, grumpyhead." Rikku clarified, opening cupboards at random until she found the mugs.

"I know. Why are you here?" His brain had finally started working, and was wondering why he had let her in. Oh yeah – he hadn't.

Opening the jar marked 'coffee', Rikku gave an exploratory sniff. "Why do you keep tea in the coffee jar?" She asked.

"Um… Mum just shoves stuff in the first jar she finds. Look in the one that says 'sugar'."

Locating the jar he spoke of, Rikku sniffed the contents and decided that it was probably coffee. She took an almost-clean spoon from the sink and measured out a couple of spoonfuls of coffee into the mug.

"Um, Rikku?"

"What?" She asked, preoccupied.

"Why the fuck are you in my house, opening my cupboards and sniffing my coffee?" He demanded, rubbing his head, which was starting to feel hangover-ish after all.

The blonde put the lid back on the jar with a smile and replaced it on the shelf. "We're going fishing!" She announced cheerfully.

The kettle started to boil.

"Fishing?"

"Yep!"

"You woke me up to go fishing with you?"

Rikku grabbed the kettle and started to pour boiled water into the mug. "You're a little slow in the mornings aren't ya?"

Groaning, the redhead sat down at the kitchen table and rested his head on the cool, smooth surface. "How the fuck do you even know where I live?"

"That's easy. Zexy told me." Placing the mug in front of him and taking the seat next to him, Rikku rested her chin on her hands so that she was at Axel's eye level when he raised his head to glare at her.

"Bloody traitor." Axel gave the coffee an experimental sniff. Mmm. Just what he needed. Taking a cautious sip – the mug was hot – he sighed heavily, realising just who he was faced with here. "You're not gonna let me get out of this, are you?"

"Nope."

Axel sighed again and focused on his coffee, drinking it slowly in small sips. As caffeine started to flow through his veins, he found himself able to tolerate Rikku's cheerfulness without burying his head under the covers and moaning loudly to himself until she was gone.

"OK then." He said, setting down the empty mug and realising that Rikku had managed to stay quiet for at least fifteen minutes. "Let's go fishing."

* * *

"What time is it?" Demyx asked nervously. 

Roxas checked his watch for the hundredth time. "Five to one. They should be here any second."

The musician bit his lip nervously and drummed his fingers on the table. "What if they don't show up? What if they don't like me?"

Covering his boyfriend's hand with his own, Roxas gazed into his eyes reassuringly. "They'll like you. They have to."

Demyx turned his hand over and squeezed the larger one covering it, then dropped it and gave the younger boy a helpless look. "But what if they don't?"

Resisting the urge to kill his boyfriend, Roxas stood up and waved his parents over. They'd just entered the restaurant and were looking around for their son. Quickly checking himself to make sure he was presentable, the musician stood up, assembling what he hoped was a friendly smile upon his face.

"Hello darling." Roxas's mother said, happily pulling her son into a bone-crushing hug. "Your father and I missed you so much! Are you eating well?"

"Mu-um!" The blonde gasped, pulling away. "I'm fine!"

His father stood back a little, scrutinising Demyx warily. "Is this your…"

"This is Demyx." Roxas introduced. Holding out his hand, the musician found it being enveloped in a firm grip and tried not to let the pain show on his face. The man was obviously testing him, and he intended to show him that he wasn't weak. Demyx suddenly felt self-conscious of his messy hair, chewed fingernails and the painful red spot that had appeared on his forehead that morning.

Introductions over with, the four of them sat down, Demyx slightly dismayed to find himself opposite Roxas's father. Now the man would have ample opportunity to study him, waiting for him to slip up. He didn't need that kind of pressure while he was eating.

To start with, the conversation wasn't too stressful, Roxas's mother asking him about school and other mundane things, his father quietly watching Demyx across the table and the musician smiling politely every time the older woman asked him a question. Before the conversation could dwindle into an awkward silence, they were approached by a fat, sweaty man holding four menus – the owner of the restaurant, Pete Black. As this was a small, local restaurant, Pete didn't have the budget to hire many staff, and besides, he was famous for being tight with his money. Among many of the jobs which he handled himself rather than hire help, was waiting tables.

"Hey there, folks!" He greeted cheerfully, a fake smile on his face, eyes practically lighting up with money signs. "Take a squint at these, and I'll be back to take your orders in just a sec."

The menus were handed out and a silence fell over the table as everyone chose their meals. Demyx shifted uncomfortably in his chair, certain that whatever he chose would be analysed by his boyfriend's father. To be on the safe side, he opted for a simple beef burger, hoping that the man wasn't a vegetarian or something.

"So. Demyx." Roxas's father said as he put down his menu, the first time he'd spoken since they sat down. "I hope you're taking good care of my son."

His tone was neutral, but the musician thought he heard a slight threat in the older man's words. "Yes, o-of course I am." He stuttered, and added "Sir." for good measure. Answering in such a defensive tone probably wasn't the best way to handle that question, but trying to correct his answer would just dig him into a hole. Better to hold the man's gaze and wait for him to speak again.

"Glad to hear it." He said after a long pause and an appraising look. "What exactly are your intentions?"

"Uh… I'm not sure what you mean, sir." Demyx swallowed and felt a warm hand on his thigh. Roxas was reassuring him.

"Do you love him?" The older man asked.

"Yes." Turning his head, the musician looked at his boyfriend, sure of the truth in his answer. He did love Roxas, deeply and compassionately. "With all my heart."

Roxas's mother spoke up. "I know we weren't very accepting at first, Demyx, but if that's how you both feel, I'm happy to welcome you into my family."

"Thank you ma'am." Demyx responded with a smile. Roxas's father may not be the easiest man to please, but he found it easy to like the younger boy's mother.

The older man looked like he was about to say something, but before he could open his mouth, Pete returned with a notepad and asked for their orders. When he left to relay this information to the chef, the conversation switched back to Roxas's academic performance, and whatever he was going to say was soon forgotten.

* * *

The doorbell rang just as Paine had sat in front of the TV, still wondering why she'd been instructed to stay inside the house. A bowl of cornflakes was precariously balanced on her lap and she was hunched over them, trying to eat them with her gaze fixed on the TV screen without spilling them down herself. 

Frowning at this interruption of the cartoon she'd never heard of before but had become totally absorbed in, Paine put her breakfast to one side and went to open the door.

There was a cute Japanese girl standing shyly on Rikku's front porch, smiling up at her as she raised one eyebrow at this unexpected (yet entirely welcome) appearance.

"Hi." Paine said, eyebrow still high on her forehead.

"Hi." Yuffie responded, grin widening at her girlfriend's bewildered reaction. "You're probably wondering why I'm here."

"Not really." The goth replied with a mischievous smile, pulling her inside the house and kissing her thoroughly, exploring the familiar mouth with her tongue and only letting her go when she ran out of breath. "OK, why are you here?" She asked, breathing heavily. "Not that I mind, of course…" One hand trailed down the smaller girl's jacket, taking hold of the zip and pulling it downwards.

"Blame your brother. He phoned me at God-knows-when in the morning and told me to come over. Said he and Rikku had an evil plan to get us back to where we used to be."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Paine asked, slipping a hand inside the now open jacket and cupping Yuffie's right breast.

The Japanese girl moved closer. "Well, I guess he meant we've been less close recently."

"I noticed." The jacket fell to the floor.

"And I miss…" Yuffie closed her eyes as Paine started to caress her, moving both hands across the exposed surfaces of her skin, then slipping one hand inside her t-shirt, pressing it flat against her back and pulling her closer. "I miss this." Yuffie murmured, leaning in for another kiss.

"Me too." The goth's response was swallowed by lips eager to re-familiarise themselves with her own. They moved downwards to suck at her neck while small, warm hands slipped underneath her top and undid her bra.

They moved upstairs to Paine's bedroom, shedding clothes as they went, Yuffie's hands becoming more adventurous, the goth allowing her to play the dominant role for once. Paine's heart was racing and she realised that she was nervous, as if this was their first time all over again. As she pulled her girlfriend onto the bed and Yuffie straddled her, fingers running over her rapidly hardening nipples, the goth was reminded of their love for each other. It had been missing in the past couple of months, although she hadn't noticed this until now.

Yuffie slipped a finger inside her and she let herself relax, arching into the mattress, welcoming back what she had missed, this mixture of love and ecstasy that had kept her going throughout her father's betrayal and her brother's suicide attempt. A nimble tongue licked her, massaging her most sensitive area, building up the ecstasy and love until she came harder than ever before, gasping and panting and crying Yuffie's name, arching her back then collapsing into a shivering mess. She felt her girlfriend (her lover)'s hands slowly massaging her thighs, bringing her back into coherence with strokes and kisses and gentle bites.

Regaining her dominance, Paine pulled the smaller girl into her embrace, stroking her arms and burying her face in her dark brown hair. When she recovered fully, it would be her turn to dominate, and she was determined to make Yuffie as delirious as she had just made her, but for now both girls were satisfied with each other's presence, happy to hold each other, sharing small kisses and revelling in the scent of each other, re-discovering it after their time apart.

Downstairs in the living room, a bowl of cornflakes lay forgotten on the coffee table, slowly turning soggy in the now warm milk.

* * *

Their food had arrived and Roxas and his mother were happily talking about his plans for the future. The blonde wanted to go on to university to do a degree in science, preferably something human biology. 

"What about you, Demyx?" The older woman asked, turning to the musician, who had already finished his burger. "Any plans for the future?"

"Oh, uh, I don't have any definite plans, as such." He replied, remembering his conversation with Mr Lexaeus at the winter ball. "I was thinking of taking a gap year after finishing sixth form, take a break from school, you know? But I'd really like to be a teacher."

Roxas smiled, imagining his boyfriend in front of a class of thirty young children, trying to explain simple arithmetic and stuttering adorably. Then again, Demyx was pretty good with children. He completely lost his nervousness when he was around them, telling them jokes and chasing them around the park, laughing and completely at ease with himself. He'd probably make a great teacher.

"How wonderful." His mother smiled. "Teaching can be very rewarding."

"But it doesn't exactly pay well, does it?" His father said.

"N-no, I guess not. I hadn't really thought about that." Demyx looked down at his plate.

"Money isn't everything." Roxas's mother said, shooting her husband a warning look. "As long as he's doing something worthwhile, why should we challenge his choice of career?"

"I'm only expressing my concern." The older man replied gruffly. "If our son hopes to have a future with this boy, he's going to have to face up to reality."

"Do you expect Demyx to support Roxas on his own?" She shot back. "With a joint income, they'll manage."

"Simple as that, is it? They'll find jobs, buy a house, settle down, adopt kids – they'll let anyone raise children these days – and live happily ever after? Is that your naïve view of their future together? You think that they'll be accepted, just like that, two men living together?"

Roxas's mother put down her fork and glared at him, anger showing on her middle-aged, slightly wrinkled face. "We've been through this. You promised that you wouldn't allow your prejudices to ruin our relationship with our son. If you can't-"

"Enough." Roxas said suddenly. "Dad, I'm not worried about our future. Right now I'm just trying to get through school, get good enough grades to reach uni. I don't even know if we'll be together in five or six years time, but I hope we will be, and if we are, we'll deal with things as they come along. Nothing you say will stop me from loving him."

The intense silence that followed this outburst was almost painful. Eyes were cast downwards, Roxas's father too stubborn to apologise but too proper to follow it up with a heated statement of his own. Roxas turned his glare away from the older man to attack his food. Demyx stared at the table purely in embarrassment, knowing that he was the cause of this.

"Take no notice of your father, love." His mother told Roxas softly, finally breaking the silence. "Come back home and he'll soon get used to the idea." She smiled sadly. "We miss you."

"Mum, I appreciate the effort you've made and I'm glad you're happy for me and Demyx, but I'm happy living with him." Roxas held his mother's gaze and hoped she understood.

A brief nod showed him that she did. "I understand. I'm not happy, but I understand."

"Thanks Mum." He told her sincerely.

* * *

Although they didn't have the lake entirely to themselves, they were the only fishers. A couple of picnickers had laid their blanket on the other side of the lake, which meant that Axel and Rikku were practically alone. 

Chewing on a piece of grass, Axel lay on his back, one arm thrown over his eyes to protect them from the sun, the other loosely holding his fishing rod. Rikku lay next to him, her shoes having been kicked off in random directions.

Turning to the blonde, Axel squinted against the sun. "At the risk of sounding repetitive, why the fuck are we here?"

"Fishing." Rikku murmured, shifting her grip on her own rod into a more comfortable position. Lying in the sun always tired her out, and made her less talkative than usual.

"Yeah, I got that bit. But why me? You could'a turned up at Yuna's door-"

"Vegetarian."

"OK." Axel raised an eyebrow. Rikku was starting to sound like Fuu. "Paine then?"

"We had a secret evil plan to get her and Yuffie to bond." Rikku paused to suppress a giggle. "Hee hee. Bond. Bondage. Anyway, it involved leaving them alone in the house together. So I had to go somewhere."

"But fishing?"

The blonde shrugged. "Me and Dad used to fish all the time. I missed having someone to do it with. And me and you are kinda friends, right?"

"Um, yeah. I guess we are." Axel smiled to himself, glad that the girl couldn't see his face.

"But we're don't spend much time together, so I thought it might be nice."

"It is."

They lay in companionable silence for a while, listening to the birds sing and the occasional splash as something broke the surface of the water. Nothing was biting, but neither of them cared. _Fishin' ain't about catching fish_. Cid used to say that to Rikku. _'s about you an' me an' nature._

Something occurred to Axel just as he was about to doze off. "Hey, Rikku?"

It took her a second to reply and he guessed that she had been napping, too. "Yeah?"

"Are we turning into a couple?"

He heard a rustling and glanced over to see the blonde turned onto her side, looking at him with a strange expression. "I dunno. Are we?"

Frowning slightly, the redhead considered the situation. "We do seem pretty… couply."

"Do you want to be a couple?"

"Not really. We'd end up killing each other. And you're not really my type."

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Rikku turned back onto her back.

Axel listened to a couple of birds singing to each other. Probably mating season, wasn't it? No, he really didn't want to think about that. Roxas's throwaway comment yesterday had gone to his head. Before that, he hadn't even considered dating Rikku. She was like a sister to him, one that he hadn't really been close to before, but was getting to know better. This was the first time he'd been friends with a girl without wanting it to go further, and he liked it that way.

"Hey, Rikku?"

"Yeah?"

"Promise me something."

"Is it a weird promise?"

"Kind of."

"OK then. I like weird promises."

Axel turned his head and saw that she was looking at him again. "Promise we'll never be a couple."

She smiled at him. "Hmm. That is a weird promise."

"Told ya so." Axel grinned.

Rikku put a hand on his arm. "I promise we'll never be a couple."

The redhead nodded. "Cool."

* * *

Paine fired up her laptop. As Yuffie had been reluctant to let her go, she had brought the computer to the bed, so that she could lie on her front and type with her girlfriend lying next to her. 

"What're you writing?" The Japanese girl asked sleepily.

The goth paused in her typing to kiss Yuffie on the tip of her nose, then returned to the keyboard. "My blog."

_Love is a subject touched upon by many artists, poets and writers. Some compare it to nature, some link it to desire and some believe that it is inevitably followed by dramatic heartbreak and betrayal._

_Until now, I have not spoken of love. The subjects I choose for my blog are ones close to my heart, and love did not previously feature heavily in my life. But now that I am in a better position to understand it, I find myself wanting to write about love._

_Love is when the person lying next to you turns and gives you a look meant for you alone, a look that you know no one else will ever see. Love is when is hurts to be away, and reunion is the sweetest bliss. Love is when you can't help but sound fucking poetic because you've been infected and nothing can stop you from pouring your heart into this person and trust them to keep it safe._

_I'll stop before I make you sick. That would have been my reaction only yesterday. It might be my reaction tomorrow, or a few days from now, when the afterglow has worn off. But I know this: even if time, sickness or death itself part us, if I lose my mind and can't even remember my own name, if we drift apart and can't stand to be around each other any more, I will always remember what it is like to have been in love._

Re-reading what she'd written, Paine had a sudden urge to delete the romantic crap, but she stopped herself. It was in her nature to be truthful, and besides, this could serve as a reminder for her in ten or twenty or even fifty years time, when she'd become jaded and forgotten that there is such thing as love in the world. Rolling her eyes and realising that she'd hate herself for it tomorrow, Paine clicked 'submit' before she could change her mind.

* * *

Kairi stood at the back of the suffocatingly sterile, white room, watching Roxas say his goodbyes. She remembered the first time she'd seen him in this room, more than a year after she'd started visiting weekly. The blonde had acted awkwardly towards her at first, ashamed of the way he'd avoided her since the accident. Since then they'd been visiting Sora regularly together, building up their relationship again, talking about little, everyday things as well as more serious topics, such as Riku. Just last week, Kairi had received a letter from India, saying that Riku was learning the ways of Buddhism and didn't intend to return any time soon. Although her first instinct was to be worried by this, Kairi was glad that Rikku had found a direction in life. As long as he was happy, it wasn't her place to question his choice of lifestyle. In her letter back, she hadn't mentioned Sora. Rikku was trying to put the past behind him, and she respected that. 

They'd known for a while that it was unlikely that Sora was going to wake up, but Kairi had stored the fact in the back of her mind, focusing instead on enjoying her time with Roxas and treasuring her time with Sora. She was fairly sure that the younger boy had done the same, almost denying that the time would come when the machines would be switched off.

But now that time was three days away, and it was time to face facts. Sora was dead, had been dead for quite some time. His comatose state had only served to give false hope.

"Demyx and I had lunch with Mum and Dad today." Roxas was telling his brother. "You should have seen the colour of Dad's face. He was trying so hard to keep a lid on what he really wanted to say."

"You're Mum's pretty cool though." Demyx spoke up. He'd been with Roxas to visit Sora a couple of times, and was used to talking to the unconscious boy, although it still felt weird seeing as he'd never met Sora when he was awake.

"Yeah, she wanted me to come home, but I said I'd rather stay with Demyx. I felt guilty about leaving home, now that I'm their only son and all. You know." Turning to his boyfriend, Roxas felt tears spill from his eyes. The musician wrapped an arm around his waist and squeezed encouragingly.

"Um." Roxas took a deep breath and wiped the tears from his face. "I just wanted to say, before they… while I still have the chance… um, this may sound stupid because I don't even know if you can hear me. But, I guess if you can't hear me, you won't be able to think I'm stupid."

Another deep breath. "So… I'll just say it anyway. Before the accident, when you were… still around, I was always following you around, trying to be like you. You were the perfect brother, the model son, and all I wanted was to be the same. Mum and Dad saw you as the grown up, responsible one, and I was like a younger version of you."

At some point, Kairi must have stepped forward, because Roxas felt her hand on his other shoulder. "When you ended up like this, they tried to treat me like they'd treated you," he continued, "but I realised that we're not the same. It's given me the chance to get to know myself and show Mum and Dad who I really am. And my new independence has helped me to come to terms with your death. You've been dead for a while now, Sora, I just didn't want to admit it. I needed there to be a chance because I couldn't face life without you. But now it's time to let you go."

Roxas turned away and left Demyx and Kairi standing by the bed as he scooped up the pile of compost that had once been flowers and dumped it in the bin, something he should have done a long time ago. Dead things shouldn't be left to rot in a sickly white room, forgotten. They should be returned to the earth, allowed to fertilise new flowers and kept alive in the memory, in their full glory.

He was about to leave the room for the last time, but an exclamation of surprise from behind him stopped him in his tracks.

"R-Roxas…" Kairi gasped, hope shining through her voice. Not daring to acknowledge it, Roxas returned to the bedside, his heart skipping a beat at what he saw. He wasn't prepared for this, he had no idea how to react. The onslaught of relief and excitement and pure happiness that flooded him was too much to handle, and some defence mechanism must have kicked in because it all faded away to a dull throb and all that Roxas was able to focus on was the figure in the bed. Everything else swam around him, only half real.

In the background, he vaguely heard Demyx saying, "I never saw the resemblance before. Your face and hair are so different, I'd never have known that you were brothers. But now I get it." He paused to look up at his boyfriend's face, then back down at the older boy in the bed.

"You have the same eyes."


End file.
